Last Ride On the Party Train
Familicide contest entry7 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I fell right into this story. It actually read as if the author had had personal experience and knew exactly what he or she was talking about, such as when describing the environment, the life of the children, party train, nose candy. I'm not saying that is the case at all. What I am trying to say is the details and the emotions made for a complete, exceptionally told story.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
  |
I fell right into this story. It actually read as if the author had had personal experience and knew exactly what he or she was talking about, such as when describing the environment, the life of the children, party train, nose candy. I'm not saying that is the case at all. What I am trying to say is the details and the emotions made for a complete, exceptionally told story.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much. I used to be an addictions counselor, so I know some of the jargon. I also have a very addictive personality, and thank God that I never tried any drugs harder than cannabis. I surely would be an addict if I had. I'm fortunate and blessed. Thank you so much for your encouraging review. Hugs.
-
Great job!
Comment from mobileliz
Good piece considering the prompt, no typos etc, very intense. So sad for a child to find a sibling and know his parents drug habit was responsible. I feel this was a hard piece to write. I hope it really is fiction. May God bless
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
|
Good piece considering the prompt, no typos etc, very intense. So sad for a child to find a sibling and know his parents drug habit was responsible. I feel this was a hard piece to write. I hope it really is fiction. May God bless
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
-
Thank you so much for reading my story. Thankfully, yes, it is fiction. I appreciate your thoughtful comments and review. Hugs.
-
You're welcome
Comment from Patty Palmer
Your story practically made my heart stop with pain! You have written a very life-like scenario that could be and probably has been played out in any town or city. Drugs kill people! Good luck with the contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
|
Your story practically made my heart stop with pain! You have written a very life-like scenario that could be and probably has been played out in any town or city. Drugs kill people! Good luck with the contest!
Patty
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
-
Thank you, Patty, for reading and reviewing. thankfully, this is totally fiction. I appreciate ayour comments and review. Hugs.
-
You're welcome
Patty
Comment from blondie560
Gosh this was such a tragic story. How awful to know the 4th grader is the adult in the room. Good descriptions that set the tone of the story. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
|
Gosh this was such a tragic story. How awful to know the 4th grader is the adult in the room. Good descriptions that set the tone of the story. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
-
Thank you. It was difficult, emotionally, to write. I appreciate your comments and review. Hugs.
Comment from LisaMay
Your superbly written story makes harrowing reading. I am naive about the drug scene but I am sure you have portrayed an authentic scenario that happens too often. You have portrayed raw emotion from the child's point of view, an innocent caught up in the impact of selfish behaviour by those who should protect.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
|
Your superbly written story makes harrowing reading. I am naive about the drug scene but I am sure you have portrayed an authentic scenario that happens too often. You have portrayed raw emotion from the child's point of view, an innocent caught up in the impact of selfish behaviour by those who should protect.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
-
Thank the Lord, I have never known this situation in a personal way, at least not all of it together. I just could not bring myself to write about a parent killing innocent children, so I ended up with this. Thank you so much for your comments and review. Hugs!
-
You did well to convey the situation. It was a topic i could not bear to turn my mind to.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Fiction, a familicide contest entry, visited by death, speaks simply in a good flow about last ride on the party train, such a tragic death, expresses in an orderly and real like taletelling, thru a plot development in progression, ends in a tragedy in appreciation; well said, well done, thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
|
This Fiction, a familicide contest entry, visited by death, speaks simply in a good flow about last ride on the party train, such a tragic death, expresses in an orderly and real like taletelling, thru a plot development in progression, ends in a tragedy in appreciation; well said, well done, thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
-
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging words and review. They are humbly appreciated. Hugs to you.
Comment from royowen
How sad! Unfortunately this happens, and one couldn't blame the young man for killing his unbelievably uncaring parents, the charge we have for our kids, is to love them and care for them. A beautifully compiled story, brilliantly done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
|
How sad! Unfortunately this happens, and one couldn't blame the young man for killing his unbelievably uncaring parents, the charge we have for our kids, is to love them and care for them. A beautifully compiled story, brilliantly done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
-
Thank you, Roy. As the topic for this prompt is "familicide," I could not bring myself to write about an adult killing an innocent child. Your encouraging comments are humbly appreciated. Hugs to you.
-
Bless you, great story, better miscreant parents.
