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a twenty-syllable poem18 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I never thought about the "pecking order" of those birds on the power lines. I wonder if your last line might be funnier if it were "Stay on line." - you know, the old "hold, please." Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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I never thought about the "pecking order" of those birds on the power lines. I wonder if your last line might be funnier if it were "Stay on line." - you know, the old "hold, please." Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you for the idea. It*s the second one. Robyn suggested *be prepared*. She thought the alliteration would be better. I like yours ? changed mine.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Bill, in these few words you have dispensed some very good advice. I could not think of a better way to say what this 20 word poem has said, so very well !
The illustration that you have found to post with this poem, gives a visual demonstration of the text posted below.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Dear Bill, in these few words you have dispensed some very good advice. I could not think of a better way to say what this 20 word poem has said, so very well !
The illustration that you have found to post with this poem, gives a visual demonstration of the text posted below.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Suzanna, for the great review. Bill
Comment from nomi338
Only a man who has stood in line and been able to move up, would even be able to contemplate the wisdom in that statement. I would add to that thought, before you take the step to advance, make doubly sure that it is what you want, and are ready for. Many take that step before they are ready and find out too late that they had not prepared properly or adequately for that move.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Only a man who has stood in line and been able to move up, would even be able to contemplate the wisdom in that statement. I would add to that thought, before you take the step to advance, make doubly sure that it is what you want, and are ready for. Many take that step before they are ready and find out too late that they had not prepared properly or adequately for that move.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Be prepared. Boy Scout motto.
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Indeed.
Comment from robyn corum
Bill,
Before I forget, I wish you would consider 'be prepared' as an ending - for two reasons. 1.) 'in line' makes it sound like you still have to work for it and 2.) 'be prepared' also has the alliterative effect that works with the rest of the poem.
Now, I just have to tell you, this was so fun! The image was so striking - as soon as I opened up the post I was intrigued with the whole presentation. Then, as I began reading, I thought the wording, the message, and the combined effect was just a bunch of FUN. (I think I already said that, but it bears repeating.)
I enjoyed this and think it will do well. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Bill,
Before I forget, I wish you would consider 'be prepared' as an ending - for two reasons. 1.) 'in line' makes it sound like you still have to work for it and 2.) 'be prepared' also has the alliterative effect that works with the rest of the poem.
Now, I just have to tell you, this was so fun! The image was so striking - as soon as I opened up the post I was intrigued with the whole presentation. Then, as I began reading, I thought the wording, the message, and the combined effect was just a bunch of FUN. (I think I already said that, but it bears repeating.)
I enjoyed this and think it will do well. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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I see your point on alliteration, but the telephone line plays to the pun. Thank you for your good ideas.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
He he he, I think these words speak the truth and there is most definitely a pecking order in the bird world, this is amusing and very true, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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He he he, I think these words speak the truth and there is most definitely a pecking order in the bird world, this is amusing and very true, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Dolly, for the positive review. Bill
Comment from Bluesatinbutterfly
hahahaha, so funny "pecking order" indeed. Love it. Again your choice of artwork is so very good. It does help so much to engage the eyes in both mediums.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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hahahaha, so funny "pecking order" indeed. Love it. Again your choice of artwork is so very good. It does help so much to engage the eyes in both mediums.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, BSB, for giving this a look. Bill
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
You couldn't have picked a better picture to deliver your sentiment. I wish I could give you six stars for this, Bill. I love it. That line is sterling and could garner so much for any individual.
Ralf
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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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You couldn't have picked a better picture to deliver your sentiment. I wish I could give you six stars for this, Bill. I love it. That line is sterling and could garner so much for any individual.
Ralf
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Ralf, for giving this a look. Bill
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My pleasure.
Comment from Sally Law
Absolutely. This looks like the line on Saturday at Costco. How blessed we are to have food though, even if we have to wait.
Stellar entry for the twenty word poetry contest, Bill. Looks like a winner to me.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :) XOs....
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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Absolutely. This looks like the line on Saturday at Costco. How blessed we are to have food though, even if we have to wait.
Stellar entry for the twenty word poetry contest, Bill. Looks like a winner to me.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :) XOs....
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Sal, for the terrific review. Bill
