The new Entrant
Dribble Flash Fiction11 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Very amusing twist--wry humor in distinction between passively dying vs being murdered--I always cringe when the trite words "passed away" are used in reference to a gruesome death. Fine work in a flash! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Very amusing twist--wry humor in distinction between passively dying vs being murdered--I always cringe when the trite words "passed away" are used in reference to a gruesome death. Fine work in a flash! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you very much and I am sorry for this delay in reply
Comment from lyenochka
Interesting and imaginative. I'm wondering how this soul didn't "die" but witnessed things he shouldn't have. Is that very encounter with Samuel, the ghost, that scared him to death?
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Interesting and imaginative. I'm wondering how this soul didn't "die" but witnessed things he shouldn't have. Is that very encounter with Samuel, the ghost, that scared him to death?
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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the 50 word limitation often chokes the story line.I meant he was killed ...after asking the new ghost that he was too young to die,Samuel continued ,"was it an accident or did you do drugs?".I had to cut that out to limit to 50 words.Thanks for stopping by.
Comment from patcelaw
This was a good read and I wish you the best in the contest. may your weekend be blessed with good things. Stay well.
Patricia
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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This was a good read and I wish you the best in the contest. may your weekend be blessed with good things. Stay well.
Patricia
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you very much and I am sorry for the delay in my reply .I was down with covid.
Comment from Aussie
"Anew ( a space new ghost) Loved he illustration to compliment your contest entry. I liked this for the humor about the new ghost. Probably tripped and broke his neck whilst looking at something he shouldn't have!
Well done! K xx
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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"Anew ( a space new ghost) Loved he illustration to compliment your contest entry. I liked this for the humor about the new ghost. Probably tripped and broke his neck whilst looking at something he shouldn't have!
Well done! K xx
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you very much .Sorry for the delay in my reply .I was down with covid.
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Oh, dear. Are you OK? k XX
Comment from Patrick Borosky
Nice job, it wants me to know what happened to the new ghost.
There are a couple of grammar and spacing issues that threw me off from completely enjoying it. I actually had to go back and read it a couple of times.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Nice job, it wants me to know what happened to the new ghost.
There are a couple of grammar and spacing issues that threw me off from completely enjoying it. I actually had to go back and read it a couple of times.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you very much and sorry for the delay in reply. The new ghost was murdered so that he wont reveal what he saw.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. I like the POV in your little story. The art choice is a good one, too. I like the use of dialogue.
May I suggest ~
Samuel got up from his grave(,) as usual(,) at the stroke of midnight. Anew [ add a space after the word A ] ghost was looking around where every one [everyone ] else had decided to rest in peace.
"hey,there! ["Hey, there!" Aren't . . .] aren't you too young to die?
The new ghost replied, "I didn't die. [ add a space after the word die ]I just witnessed something I shouldn't have".
Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. I like the POV in your little story. The art choice is a good one, too. I like the use of dialogue.
May I suggest ~
Samuel got up from his grave(,) as usual(,) at the stroke of midnight. Anew [ add a space after the word A ] ghost was looking around where every one [everyone ] else had decided to rest in peace.
"hey,there! ["Hey, there!" Aren't . . .] aren't you too young to die?
The new ghost replied, "I didn't die. [ add a space after the word die ]I just witnessed something I shouldn't have".
Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you very much and sorry for the delay in reply. I was down with covid.
Comment from Mastery
"And the winner is.....Sanku!" This is an incredible entry in the contest my friend and I can almost assure you that you will be the winner! Good luck in this fiction contest, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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"And the winner is.....Sanku!" This is an incredible entry in the contest my friend and I can almost assure you that you will be the winner! Good luck in this fiction contest, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you ,Bob . Hope you are recovering well.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
He witnessed something he shouldn't have and so he had to die? Ha ha ha, this s amusing. Think (Anew) should read (A new), much fun, inventive, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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He witnessed something he shouldn't have and so he had to die? Ha ha ha, this s amusing. Think (Anew) should read (A new), much fun, inventive, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you and I am sorry for the delayed reply.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Dribble Flash Fiction speaks very interestingly something that a ghost did not die but he witnessed something he should not have; so witty and naughty; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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This Dribble Flash Fiction speaks very interestingly something that a ghost did not die but he witnessed something he should not have; so witty and naughty; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thanks a lot...
Comment from prodigal
Capitalize "Hey there" and I think it should be a new, not anew.
Regardless of the tiny nits, this is excellent flash. Good body blow punch at the end. I witnessed something I shouldn't have.
I expect this will do well. Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Capitalize "Hey there" and I think it should be a new, not anew.
Regardless of the tiny nits, this is excellent flash. Good body blow punch at the end. I witnessed something I shouldn't have.
I expect this will do well. Good luck to you.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you very much for your siggestions and I am sorry my reply was delayed .I was down with covid.
