Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Anger is one of the worst emotions, and yes it can overtake our reason and normal feelings, the trick is, is to find the trigger and do what it takes to control it, very well done and best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021

Thank you!

Comment from rindy ryan

Excellent

I sense the personal connection to Johnny Anger. And you use some good figurative language. But your verb tenses keep shifting. And I don't see any kind of pattern to the poem. It does adhere to the contest requirements so good luck with your entry!

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021

Thank you!

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021

Okay, I have fixed the mistakes. Is it better to give it a five star rating? Please help.

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021

Can you please check my poem?

reply by rindy ryan on 08-Apr-2021

Your tenses are better! You still need to get rid of the ?gets? in stanza 1. Also, I hear a lot of ?all? and ?every? throughout the poem. Can you find other ways to say what you want without relying on the same words?

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021

I changed the words. Is it better now?

reply by rindy ryan on 08-Apr-2021

It?s improving. I still see a lot a non specific words or repetition of words that aren?t worth repeating. You use sorts twice in stanza 1. Stanza 3 could benefit from less non specifics and more specifics.
He always complained about most things,
threw rocks at the dolphins,
blamed lots of living beings,
including everything in sight.
Johnny Anger came out in public
like a steamed trailblazer. W ha are most things? What living beings? What?s everything in sight? Yo are not painting a picture of anything in my mind. And do you mean bulldozer instead of trailblazer?

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021

Is this better to make it a five star rating? Please, check it!