On the Edge of Deception
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "On the Edge of Deception - Pg 9"Mystery, Abuse and Crime
15 total reviews
Comment from karenina
OH, well, thanks Rachel... Nice of you to come around NOW! (Can you tell I'm getting entangled with these characters?)---
Just like in real life, I want to believe Ethan is the one voice of reason...but
how many people have assumed that and regretted it???
I admire your well plotted and well paced book. As a poet and occasional dabbler in flash fiction I truly respect how disciplined a writer has to be to see BEYOND the initial theme and wisely deal with the intersections of a myriad of personalities, events, fall out, and (oh please Lord!)--a satisfying resolution...
Yet again I am riveted.
Karenina
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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OH, well, thanks Rachel... Nice of you to come around NOW! (Can you tell I'm getting entangled with these characters?)---
Just like in real life, I want to believe Ethan is the one voice of reason...but
how many people have assumed that and regretted it???
I admire your well plotted and well paced book. As a poet and occasional dabbler in flash fiction I truly respect how disciplined a writer has to be to see BEYOND the initial theme and wisely deal with the intersections of a myriad of personalities, events, fall out, and (oh please Lord!)--a satisfying resolution...
Yet again I am riveted.
Karenina
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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give the kid a little break - She's young and stupid... but she did return to fight for her friend. LOL i am loving how you approach my characters. LOL Smiles, Carol
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I did give her a break... Just a little anxious for Beth, ya know? I sort of hoped she'd wise up and come through...and (smart writer-you!)--SHE DID!---Karenina
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You'll like the beginning of this next chapter then..Rachel is do her darndest to get Beth to do the right thing, but will she?
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Oh goodie! I'll be reading later today!--Karenina
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
When Rachel meets Ethan, and they realize that Beth will be going to the park to look for the clothes Rachel promised, they should come up with the plan to wait for her there, right?
Ralf
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021
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When Rachel meets Ethan, and they realize that Beth will be going to the park to look for the clothes Rachel promised, they should come up with the plan to wait for her there, right?
Ralf
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2021
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Too late I fear! But the two will do their best to find her and help - but Ethan's life will be rocked again too. Thanks so much Ralf. Smiles to you - Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
For a minute I got the guys' names mixed up so I thought I must have missed a chapter. lol This is another excellent chapter, Carol. You've now brought two people who believe Beth together. Hoping they will find her soon! Before Jesse or the police do!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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For a minute I got the guys' names mixed up so I thought I must have missed a chapter. lol This is another excellent chapter, Carol. You've now brought two people who believe Beth together. Hoping they will find her soon! Before Jesse or the police do!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Sorry - I hope I left the character list for you. I tend to forget that stuff. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I am happy Rachel is trying to help her friend. the webs we weave! Smiles!
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Niiiccee. It's good when the friends get together and start forming a team to work things out. I like this a lot. As I have said before, you have a great way of making your characters behave in realistic ways. Great job!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Carol,
Niiiccee. It's good when the friends get together and start forming a team to work things out. I like this a lot. As I have said before, you have a great way of making your characters behave in realistic ways. Great job!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thanks, Robyn. I've had so many different viewpoints on my story line and how I write it, that I am thoroughly confused. i know I can't possibly please every one, but it helps to know others understand my characters and what is happening. Thank you so much - Carol
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WHAT???!!! Nope. No way. You are doing great. Don't listen to anyone. I've been picking at you, but only in fun. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do and that's throw EVERYTHING at your characters. That's what you're supposed to do and what few writers are willing to do. I will say that I think you will need some 'polishing' when you're done, but this is the first draft. I think this is publishable - and I mean by a company not self-pubbed. It's GOOD. Don't listen to anyone but this little birdie on your shoulder.
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((Hugs))
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So Rachel is going to try to help. That's a good thing. I am wondering where Beth went. I sure hope they find her before the police does, I can't wait to read more. I see you've posted the next part.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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So Rachel is going to try to help. That's a good thing. I am wondering where Beth went. I sure hope they find her before the police does, I can't wait to read more. I see you've posted the next part.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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I pray they find her before the police as well. Even though Rachel feared her parents, her love and loyalty for Beth won out. I'm glad. i appreciate your thoughts and review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is another great installment to your story. It was exciting from beginning to end. Of course, I want to keep reading. I continue to enjoy your use of space.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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This is another great installment to your story. It was exciting from beginning to end. Of course, I want to keep reading. I continue to enjoy your use of space.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Good morning, my friend. Happy to see you continuing with my story. I really appreciate your time and thoughts. Smiles to you - Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Well at least there two young people on her side, as well as the original lady from child care who wants to help. Ethan has a good idea that Jesse raped her. I'm glad she has those in her corner. I'm looking forward to finding out where she went.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Well at least there two young people on her side, as well as the original lady from child care who wants to help. Ethan has a good idea that Jesse raped her. I'm glad she has those in her corner. I'm looking forward to finding out where she went.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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i am pretty sure that I know where to find her temporarily and maybe Bert will figure it out too. I hope so! Thanks again Beth for following my story. I appreciate it very much. Just posted #10. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Susan Newell
I'm still gripped in suspense and wanting more. You mention Jesse's "track record" twice, but don't explain what it is. I wonder if you should include something about date rape or drugging girls, or something else to let us know that he's more than a ladies' man, and has used some kind of force in the past.
He finally located on the floor of the bedroom. -- you are missing "it" in this sentence.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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I'm still gripped in suspense and wanting more. You mention Jesse's "track record" twice, but don't explain what it is. I wonder if you should include something about date rape or drugging girls, or something else to let us know that he's more than a ladies' man, and has used some kind of force in the past.
He finally located on the floor of the bedroom. -- you are missing "it" in this sentence.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Yeah, I thought of that myself. I do refer to it when Ethan says he doesn't want him in his house especially after the incident at the bar, but maybe I should have made it clearer. I'll check it out. Smiles to you - Carol Hope all is well!
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Mmm. I'd forgotten about the bar reference. Maybe from reading piecemeal. But I do think just a little more would help.
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I'll go back and try to strengthen that part a bit more. Thanks!
Comment from dmt1967
He finally located() on the floor of the bedroom. (it)
Another great chapter. I was at the edge of my seat all the way through. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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He finally located() on the floor of the bedroom. (it)
Another great chapter. I was at the edge of my seat all the way through. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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You know, it helps when I fix something that I save it! Thanks for pointing it out to me again - I need all the help I can get. LOL Appreciate your comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, I do hope Ethan manages to convince Rachell that it was the other way around. Rachell should have known it would be, being Beth's best friend. They have to find her. She really needs a friend now. I'm so glad that Ty told Ethan that he's let that scumbag into Ethan's house, at least he knows what happened. Can't wait for the next part, Carol! Excellent. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Oh, I do hope Ethan manages to convince Rachell that it was the other way around. Rachell should have known it would be, being Beth's best friend. They have to find her. She really needs a friend now. I'm so glad that Ty told Ethan that he's let that scumbag into Ethan's house, at least he knows what happened. Can't wait for the next part, Carol! Excellent. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Hi there - I know Rachel was afraid of her parents, but her friendship will win out I believe. Thanks for all your support in this story - I really appreciate it! Smiles Carol
