Small World
A recent encounter with an old friend19 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I double-checked and saw that it was non-fiction. Wow, what a lot of memories you covered in this chance (God-directed) encounter with an old military buddy. And while there were so many laughable memories, then there was a tragedy, too. It's inevitable especially in war stories. Thanks for sharing!
One typo:
you last name isn't Norman, is it?" (your)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
  |
I double-checked and saw that it was non-fiction. Wow, what a lot of memories you covered in this chance (God-directed) encounter with an old military buddy. And while there were so many laughable memories, then there was a tragedy, too. It's inevitable especially in war stories. Thanks for sharing!
One typo:
you last name isn't Norman, is it?" (your)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading, the feedback and the spot. I appreciate them all!
Comment from Susan Newell
I really liked this story, and being of the same era, with a husband who served in Germany, it was easy to relate to it. It was fun to learn about Sunshine and Tommy. I found a couple of technical things and the type size was difficult to read.
re-order --> reorder
re-fills --> refills
In paragraph that begins: "That Colonel was going down the line, . . . " I think you need to work on the quotes within a quote. I got confused. I think I saw one capitalization needed and a number of verbal responses needing single quotation marks. -- very funny paragraph by the way.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
|
I really liked this story, and being of the same era, with a husband who served in Germany, it was easy to relate to it. It was fun to learn about Sunshine and Tommy. I found a couple of technical things and the type size was difficult to read.
re-order --> reorder
re-fills --> refills
In paragraph that begins: "That Colonel was going down the line, . . . " I think you need to work on the quotes within a quote. I got confused. I think I saw one capitalization needed and a number of verbal responses needing single quotation marks. -- very funny paragraph by the way.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading Susan and for the spots. You wouldn't believe how much time I spent on the paragraph with quotes within quotes. I will take a look. I did 're-place' the two words. Thanks and regards, Bill
-
You are most welcome. It was a great story about reminiscing with an unexpected old friend.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your notes say it all. What a story of that meeting which could have been for old time's sake only to end with the remembrance of the death of a fellow military man from your unit. I enjoyed your story. I was engaged from start to finish. I could see everything you wrote. Thank you for your service.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
|
Your notes say it all. What a story of that meeting which could have been for old time's sake only to end with the remembrance of the death of a fellow military man from your unit. I enjoyed your story. I was engaged from start to finish. I could see everything you wrote. Thank you for your service.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
-
Thanks Jan--always glad when you drop by! Bill
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It really is a small world. Yes, after all the fun memories, to end up with Tommy dying. But, it is nice to catch up, and meet old friends, especially when it's in a packed pub and you somehow manage to be sitting side by side. I enjoyed reading your story, it was so interesting. Just one small error, (I think) below. Well done. Sandra xx
Vietnam and would (wound?) up being diverted
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
|
It really is a small world. Yes, after all the fun memories, to end up with Tommy dying. But, it is nice to catch up, and meet old friends, especially when it's in a packed pub and you somehow manage to be sitting side by side. I enjoyed reading your story, it was so interesting. Just one small error, (I think) below. Well done. Sandra xx
Vietnam and would (wound?) up being diverted
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading, your kind comments and the 'spot'. I appreciate all. Bill
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Bill. Your note at the bottom is so true and apt. Fun times can go south real quick hen stuff like reality bites. Good writing here, my friend. I felt like I was right there for a moment or so. Dialogue done extremely well. Bob
Suggestions: "sit up at the bar" (sit at the bar)
and: "sip of his own beer" (sip of beer)
Change this a little, I think plus a word has been miss-spelled, Bill.
"I looked at John closely. No, couldn't be. "John from Moultrie, you last name isn't Norman, is it?"
Try this instead: "I studied his face. No, I thought, it couldn't be. "John from Moultrie? Your last last name isn't Norman, is it?"
Also: A look of puzzlement on his face before he said" Instead try: "He looked puzzled and said, ....."
"
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
 |
Hi, Bill. Your note at the bottom is so true and apt. Fun times can go south real quick hen stuff like reality bites. Good writing here, my friend. I felt like I was right there for a moment or so. Dialogue done extremely well. Bob
Suggestions: "sit up at the bar" (sit at the bar)
and: "sip of his own beer" (sip of beer)
Change this a little, I think plus a word has been miss-spelled, Bill.
"I looked at John closely. No, couldn't be. "John from Moultrie, you last name isn't Norman, is it?"
Try this instead: "I studied his face. No, I thought, it couldn't be. "John from Moultrie? Your last last name isn't Norman, is it?"
Also: A look of puzzlement on his face before he said" Instead try: "He looked puzzled and said, ....."
"
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
-
Bob--thanks for reading, your kind and generous feedback and the spots. What you noticed is one of the things I complimented you on in your writing, conciseness and clarity. Warm regards, Bill
-
So good to have you back on board, Bill. Bob
-
Thanks, but sometimes I think I'm being lazy. I've got 23 chapters of a book going and can't seem to get back to it.
-
Just read what you have done. You will most likely find yourself revising and the next thing you know you will be back into it. :) Bob (been there done that)
Comment from T B Botts
What a great story, minus losing your friend of course. You've told it so well. I've never really wanted to relive any of my time in the navy. I had a few good friends, but we all went on with our lives and I've never seen them again. You might want to consider changing the word to, to the in the statement about San Francisco. Very enjoyable read.
Tom
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
|
What a great story, minus losing your friend of course. You've told it so well. I've never really wanted to relive any of my time in the navy. I had a few good friends, but we all went on with our lives and I've never seen them again. You might want to consider changing the word to, to the in the statement about San Francisco. Very enjoyable read.
Tom
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading Tom and for your kind and generous review! Bill
-
You're welcome Bill.
Comment from PENofFIRE
What a great story, real or not. You painted such a realistic picture of two Army buddies meeting after so many years, I felt as though I was sharing a beer with you both. I look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
|
What a great story, real or not. You painted such a realistic picture of two Army buddies meeting after so many years, I felt as though I was sharing a beer with you both. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading and your kind review. Totally real! I'd love to share a beer with you any time. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Good afternoon! This was a good read. It's amazing how someone from the long gone past can just pop up like that to take you on a long trip down memory lane.
Thanks for sharing. Have a great Monday!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
|
Good afternoon! This was a good read. It's amazing how someone from the long gone past can just pop up like that to take you on a long trip down memory lane.
Thanks for sharing. Have a great Monday!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading Erika and for your kind feedback. I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from Sharon Davis
A well written story that highlights the notion that despite its vastness, the world truly is a small place. The story also highlights the happy and sad, the ups and downs of the events that happen in that small world. Nicely composed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
|
A well written story that highlights the notion that despite its vastness, the world truly is a small place. The story also highlights the happy and sad, the ups and downs of the events that happen in that small world. Nicely composed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
-
Thanks for reading Sharon and for your feedback. I appreciate both. Bill
