On the Edge of Deception
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "On the Edge of Deception - Pg. 8"Mystery, Abuse and Crime
15 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Rape is a crime of anger... Anger can manifest itself, in men, as a general rage against the humanity of women. Hence I gritted my teeth as Jesse not only diminished Beth's hope, stole her virginity and shook her faith in God--even as he justified that, well hey, she was a "teaser" and after all, being a healthy virile young stud he apparently was entitled...and not at all worried about consequences.
Beth--a microcosm of every woman who has ever suffered at the hands of a man who felt justified in "taking" what he is, in his own mind entitled to.
My heart aches for her. I am anxious for these men to face their consequences and feel confident you are leading me there...
This installment was emotionally jarring. I am wrung out with despair...
Karenina
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Rape is a crime of anger... Anger can manifest itself, in men, as a general rage against the humanity of women. Hence I gritted my teeth as Jesse not only diminished Beth's hope, stole her virginity and shook her faith in God--even as he justified that, well hey, she was a "teaser" and after all, being a healthy virile young stud he apparently was entitled...and not at all worried about consequences.
Beth--a microcosm of every woman who has ever suffered at the hands of a man who felt justified in "taking" what he is, in his own mind entitled to.
My heart aches for her. I am anxious for these men to face their consequences and feel confident you are leading me there...
This installment was emotionally jarring. I am wrung out with despair...
Karenina
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Yes, it was a difficult one for me to write for personal reasons, but I didn't get to graphic (the idea was horrible enough). They got their just due! And Dwight's turn will come. Smiles - Carol
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I can just imagine. It's a chapter I daresay women will be affected by even more than men. Each of us has had SOME experience of power over humanity. Sadly.--Karenina
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The worst thing that could have happened was not to be avoided. Where is Ethan and what will she do if he comes back before she leaves. Will she trust him or be afraid of another assault.
Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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The worst thing that could have happened was not to be avoided. Where is Ethan and what will she do if he comes back before she leaves. Will she trust him or be afraid of another assault.
Ralf
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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In the end, I hope our cowboy with the white hat will come to her rescue, but it's looking harder by the minute. You're awesome Ralf...thanks for sticking with it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You did a good job writing this. It was hard to read and that's a good write. I am hoping Beth gets help. I know there's people who want to help her. Surely something good will happen to this child.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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You did a good job writing this. It was hard to read and that's a good write. I am hoping Beth gets help. I know there's people who want to help her. Surely something good will happen to this child.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thanks, Barbara - It was a difficult chapter to write for several reasons. I wanted to make it real, but not vulgar. I, too, can't wait till I move forward to happier things, but unfortunately, this story keeps dragging me further away. It has its own life, I fear. Smiles - Carol
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My characters actually write themselves. The novel I'm posting now, has had 4 different ending, because Katherine takes it another way.
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That's exactly where this one is taking me. It started out to be just about Beth and Dwight, but it's turned into so much more. Her life is entwined with it all and she'll learn through difficult times, but so will so many others.
Comment from Ric Myworld
In truth, I guess, most of us are truly alone. Those we've counted on tucking tail and running when things got hard, leaving us to defend ourselves. It's a tough spot, but I would bet you'll find a way to help her through it. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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In truth, I guess, most of us are truly alone. Those we've counted on tucking tail and running when things got hard, leaving us to defend ourselves. It's a tough spot, but I would bet you'll find a way to help her through it. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Oh, my friend - I needed a laugh or a smile tonight. Writing is becoming a chore at times trying to please the masses. I've been in those tough spots and luckily for Beth I think I can figure things out. Smiles and thank you - Carol
Comment from lancellot
Very good writing . Now where will Beth turn. Life isn't easy for a young girl in a dark world. You descriptions of Tyson's internal thought processes and excuses were spot on, so were those of Beth. Predictor and prey behaved exactly according to nature.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Very good writing . Now where will Beth turn. Life isn't easy for a young girl in a dark world. You descriptions of Tyson's internal thought processes and excuses were spot on, so were those of Beth. Predictor and prey behaved exactly according to nature.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I can't thank you enough for this review. One, it was difficult for me to write this chapter, but others are really upset with it. I wouldn't have written it if it wasn't a necessary part. You really made me feel good - because you are always so "right on" with your reviews, which I laugh at!! Thank you for explaining what you saw in the story. I appreciate it so much. Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
I was hoping you wouldn't let the rape happen but it is likely it would have if the story wasn't fiction. You made seem very real. I'm sorry she is leaving what seemed like a safe place. I can't wait to see where she goes from here.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I was hoping you wouldn't let the rape happen but it is likely it would have if the story wasn't fiction. You made seem very real. I'm sorry she is leaving what seemed like a safe place. I can't wait to see where she goes from here.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I hated going there but I needed to do it. It will be better for her but it will take time. Thanks for sticking with me Beth. Smiles to you as always, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Good grief, girl. Hey, I have an idea - why not throw something at this girl? That's an idea that authors use in novels = you might try it. GAG! You know, it's something I encourage folks to do all the time - throw EVERYTHING at the MC - until even you don't know how you'll get them out of it. But my stars, you meanie!!!!
Great storyline. And well worth a six. Thanks! (But you're still a bully.)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Carol,
Good grief, girl. Hey, I have an idea - why not throw something at this girl? That's an idea that authors use in novels = you might try it. GAG! You know, it's something I encourage folks to do all the time - throw EVERYTHING at the MC - until even you don't know how you'll get them out of it. But my stars, you meanie!!!!
Great storyline. And well worth a six. Thanks! (But you're still a bully.)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Oh my - I never intended to be a bully - ever. In the end, I promise I will deliver to every one of them in triple fold. As for Beth, I hope her life ends up happily every after. This was a very difficult write for me...I needed her to be a rock bottom and claw her way back up with the support of her faith. I hope I don't lose readers because of it. We all walk through difficult times - some worse than others - and we need to find what brings out on the other side. You are awesome (even if you think I am a bully) lol. Ive had many tragedies in my life and people ask how did you get through all of it....my faith my have waivered but I know it will come back. Sorry - you happened to catch me in a sad place - I shall move on -- Have a great day. Thank you so very much for reviewing, the awesome stars, and for calling me a bully!!! LOL Smiles, Carol
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If it matters, I think you are a very good bully.
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Thank You!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Hi Carol,
For very personal reasons I couldn't read this part properly but did skim over it.
I think that Beth is right to go it alone. At the moment she feels as if the world has forsaken her and she only has herself left to rely on. Hopefully, she will find her way back to being able to come to terms with this. Some do. I wonder where she will go from here. And what will Tyson think when he comes home and finds the mess and Beth gone? :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Hi Carol,
For very personal reasons I couldn't read this part properly but did skim over it.
I think that Beth is right to go it alone. At the moment she feels as if the world has forsaken her and she only has herself left to rely on. Hopefully, she will find her way back to being able to come to terms with this. Some do. I wonder where she will go from here. And what will Tyson think when he comes home and finds the mess and Beth gone? :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I fully understand, Sandra. One of the reasons I had such a difficult time writing it...took three days and I still don't think it was what I wanted. In the end, I promise God will take care of her. She's hit bottom (and I know a lot about that) and will find her way back. It won't be easy, but she will. Smiles and wishing you a wonderful day! Carol
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Smiles back, my friend. xx
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I've had a few hate it and one say she couldn't read my story anymore because I was too violent. Hope that's not going to be you too, by friend. Smiles - Carol
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No, of course it doesn't. It's your own fault, you write so well it shines! It was just this part. I love the story, but this bit was too close to home. I'll be reading on, though. If you ever doubted your excellent writing, this part must tell you how real you write. That is a compliment. :)) xxxx
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Thank you - I really needed that!
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Any time. xxx
Comment from Mastery
Hi my friend. Sometimes new things will pop up that we haven't discussed. Like "cliches" for instance. I never ever use one just in case it grabs someone the wrong way. Especially in the first few sentences where they are so glaring, like this: " jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
"That said, let's move on. LOL
What happened to an opening "hook?" They are absolutely vital, my friend.
Remember we discussed overwriting? Here is another example of that "trap:" As the horrifying memories flooded her mind,(she wept in despair)
Just "she wept" is enough, Carol. Keep on working, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Hi my friend. Sometimes new things will pop up that we haven't discussed. Like "cliches" for instance. I never ever use one just in case it grabs someone the wrong way. Especially in the first few sentences where they are so glaring, like this: " jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
"That said, let's move on. LOL
What happened to an opening "hook?" They are absolutely vital, my friend.
Remember we discussed overwriting? Here is another example of that "trap:" As the horrifying memories flooded her mind,(she wept in despair)
Just "she wept" is enough, Carol. Keep on working, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Hello, Bob - Took me to task again, did you? Good for you! I just posted the next chapter, and I pray I got the beginning right like you said. I'm trying - Some didn't care for that chapter, so I'm hoping I can move forward now with the story. I have cut the number of words down, and I hope that's better too. Keep telling me until I get it right. Thanks! Smiles to you! As always, Carol
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As you write from now on please try to remember and checck your work for these things. We get nowhere if I have to continue to harp on them. So, do as I do..like this: When you have finished a chapter to the best you think you can ggo into a completely quiet setting (no TV or radio, or other people) and read your chapter ALOUD. Believe me, you will hear things that will prompt you to make changes. Then and ONLY then will you be ready to post it. Again, You are so eager to complete your book that you are harming your own momentum. Pleas try this, Carol. :) Bob
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Guess I am a poor student. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. I thought the last two chapters were an improvement. I'll try harder. Thanks!
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Don't get discouraged, Carol. Bob
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That will work. Let me just see a good hook, please. :) Bob
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I will never sugarcoat my responses, but will heap praise wen it merits it. Soy. I don't mean tom offend, my friend. Bob
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you didn't offend. I'm mad at myself for not getting it right! Smiles!
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See my guide to checking I sent you.
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See my guide to checking I sent you.
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Let me know when you get the list. :) Bob
Comment from lyenochka
This is getting too violent for me, Carol. I don't think I can continue reviewing this series. You do a great job giving us the mindset of each of the evil characters but I really can't take it. This one needs a warning. If you put warnings, I'll know which ones to avoid.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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This is getting too violent for me, Carol. I don't think I can continue reviewing this series. You do a great job giving us the mindset of each of the evil characters but I really can't take it. This one needs a warning. If you put warnings, I'll know which ones to avoid.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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You know, Helen, I really had a difficult time writing this chapter. Believe it or not, I even thought about you while I worked on it. I wondered what demanded a warning and what didn't. If it hadn't been an important part of the storyline, I probably wouldn't have included it. I didn't want it vulgar, and I certainly didn't want to flaunt the sex....but between you and me... the after-effects are needed. Luckily, there will not be any more sex throughout the story. I don't like to write things that offend others. Smiles to you- Carol
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Thanks for understanding, Carol. I know you're keeping this realistic but I just cringe thinking this poor child is crying out to God and still she's raped. Some people go through that and never return to God.
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Never fear, Helen. God will always be in me and my stories. it is good to know that he is still there even when our faith wanders and doubts...He is always with us. I've had heartbreaking tragedies and I wondered why, but in the end I know the only reason I got through them is because he carried me. Smiles to you!
