Robin Hood
When I was young I earned a bow and arrow26 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
A very engaging true story, T.B. You sparked a lot of memories and you kept me smiling throughout. Humor is definitely one of your strong suits.
A few comments as I read along:
I didn't really want to, I think my mother made me. [This is a comma splice. It's quite common. Never separate two complete sentences with a comma. Either use a period or a semi-colon. Here's a link that explains it more fully. https://tinyurl.com/3w9uahvp (You'll have to paste it to your browser). Hope it helps.]
If I had known the chorus from Handel's Messiah, I'm sure I would have broken out into song. [You have a natural sense of humor!]
I reached up gingerly to see if I still had an ear or if it had been launched into my sister's bedroom [Another example of sterling humor.]
a few arrows accidentally found their way to the bulls eye, [Either combine "bullseye" or use the apostrophe: "bull's eye"]
We covered all the points of the compass in a mad dash to safety, [You were describing me, 70 years ago. Kids don't change. Can you imagine how lucky we were that someone didn't get an arrow into the brain?]
When I saw that comma splice in the first paragraph, I thought, "Oh my God, this is going to take some time!" Happily, that was the only major SPAG I found. My time was well spent, though. Your style is humorous, some of it delightfully self-deprecating.
I won't hesitate to read something of yours in the future.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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A very engaging true story, T.B. You sparked a lot of memories and you kept me smiling throughout. Humor is definitely one of your strong suits.
A few comments as I read along:
I didn't really want to, I think my mother made me. [This is a comma splice. It's quite common. Never separate two complete sentences with a comma. Either use a period or a semi-colon. Here's a link that explains it more fully. https://tinyurl.com/3w9uahvp (You'll have to paste it to your browser). Hope it helps.]
If I had known the chorus from Handel's Messiah, I'm sure I would have broken out into song. [You have a natural sense of humor!]
I reached up gingerly to see if I still had an ear or if it had been launched into my sister's bedroom [Another example of sterling humor.]
a few arrows accidentally found their way to the bulls eye, [Either combine "bullseye" or use the apostrophe: "bull's eye"]
We covered all the points of the compass in a mad dash to safety, [You were describing me, 70 years ago. Kids don't change. Can you imagine how lucky we were that someone didn't get an arrow into the brain?]
When I saw that comma splice in the first paragraph, I thought, "Oh my God, this is going to take some time!" Happily, that was the only major SPAG I found. My time was well spent, though. Your style is humorous, some of it delightfully self-deprecating.
I won't hesitate to read something of yours in the future.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thanks so much for your generous review Jay, and for the correction. I'll check it out and correct it, or both of the errors I guess. It's refreshing that people here are so capable and willing to help. Have a great evening.
Tom
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My pleasure, Tom. It's what we're here for. I've been writing for 65+ years, and sometimes I can offer some constructive advice. I can't tell you how many times others have helped me.
Comment from Kit Nongkhlaw
Well, I enjoyed thoroughly reading your story of childhood adventure. Yes, it was very difficult to wait for the things we wanted. All of us have some of our childhood still lingering with us. Great story.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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Well, I enjoyed thoroughly reading your story of childhood adventure. Yes, it was very difficult to wait for the things we wanted. All of us have some of our childhood still lingering with us. Great story.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the kind review. I agree, we do maintain a degree of our childhood with us. I think that's good. Have a great day.
Tom
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You are welcome
Comment from Iza Deleanu
This paragraph made me laugh because I remember how brave we are as kids to jump on new adventure's with an experience based on movies: "I promptly took my prized possession upstairs and proceeded to string the bow. I wasn't about to waste any time. I wanted to start shooting something right now. As the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss. The fact that I didn't have the slightest idea of what I was doing didn't slow me down at all. I strung the bow, relying on my memory of the last cowboy and Indian movie I'd seen, and pulled the string back as far as I could. The string let loose with a velocity just short of the speed of light and snapped my right ear. Holy Toledo! Man that hurt! I reached up gingerly to see if I still had an ear or if it had been launched into my sister's bedroom where the cat might pick it up and snack on it. Seeing no blood on my hand, I guessed that I still had two ears. Whether or not I'd ever hear through the one was yet to be seen. " Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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This paragraph made me laugh because I remember how brave we are as kids to jump on new adventure's with an experience based on movies: "I promptly took my prized possession upstairs and proceeded to string the bow. I wasn't about to waste any time. I wanted to start shooting something right now. As the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss. The fact that I didn't have the slightest idea of what I was doing didn't slow me down at all. I strung the bow, relying on my memory of the last cowboy and Indian movie I'd seen, and pulled the string back as far as I could. The string let loose with a velocity just short of the speed of light and snapped my right ear. Holy Toledo! Man that hurt! I reached up gingerly to see if I still had an ear or if it had been launched into my sister's bedroom where the cat might pick it up and snack on it. Seeing no blood on my hand, I guessed that I still had two ears. Whether or not I'd ever hear through the one was yet to be seen. " Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for your kind review Iza. Believe it or not, I once tried to mount a horse without a saddle from the rear, again like I had seen in the movies. What an idiot. I hate to admit it, but I was a full blown man when I tried that. The horse jumped forward the minute I put my hands on it's backside and kicked me right in the groin. To say that it was painful would be the understatement of the century. Fortunately I recovered, and it's just another memory in my rather interesting past.
Tom
Comment from Tpa
I enjoyed your story. It brought back some memories, especially the greeting cards. You were right-a hard sell. My gift, a light that made stars on my ceiling-what did I know.
The kite part was funny, even the part when you first got the bow and arrow.
Tried not to end a sentence with an infinitive which you did in the first sentence. "to" might try 'to join. GOOD LUCK IN CONTEST.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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I enjoyed your story. It brought back some memories, especially the greeting cards. You were right-a hard sell. My gift, a light that made stars on my ceiling-what did I know.
The kite part was funny, even the part when you first got the bow and arrow.
Tried not to end a sentence with an infinitive which you did in the first sentence. "to" might try 'to join. GOOD LUCK IN CONTEST.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the kind review. I'll go back and look at that. Thanks for the advice.
Tom
Comment from blondie560
Excellent story! I laughed all the way through it. You described everything so well I could picture being there. Having been a den mother, you were spot on with your opinion of yours. If anyone tells you they loved being a scout leader, boy or girl, call BS on them!
Our backyard neighbors had a kid left to his own devices during the summer. He's older sister was in charge. He decided to use our dog for target practice. Thank goodness he had lousy aim, but his arrows did hit the side of the house making small thud noises. My husband worked nights and it woke him up. He found the arrows in the yard and went to the kid's house. The sister answered the door timidly and my husband just wanted to scare the kid. Apparently sister told her parents and that afternoon the dad and son were on our doorstep with apologies and the fear of death over the kid if he did anything like that again. You're correct when you say boys are lucky to live to be men!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Excellent story! I laughed all the way through it. You described everything so well I could picture being there. Having been a den mother, you were spot on with your opinion of yours. If anyone tells you they loved being a scout leader, boy or girl, call BS on them!
Our backyard neighbors had a kid left to his own devices during the summer. He's older sister was in charge. He decided to use our dog for target practice. Thank goodness he had lousy aim, but his arrows did hit the side of the house making small thud noises. My husband worked nights and it woke him up. He found the arrows in the yard and went to the kid's house. The sister answered the door timidly and my husband just wanted to scare the kid. Apparently sister told her parents and that afternoon the dad and son were on our doorstep with apologies and the fear of death over the kid if he did anything like that again. You're correct when you say boys are lucky to live to be men!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Thanks again Blondie!!!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. I like how you used descriptive words and added great details. I could see everything as I read. Your story was fun and a bit dangerous. I love how you targeted that brat's kite. Of course she played the poor pitiful me afterwards. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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You did a great job with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. I like how you used descriptive words and added great details. I could see everything as I read. Your story was fun and a bit dangerous. I love how you targeted that brat's kite. Of course she played the poor pitiful me afterwards. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you Jan for the great review. The fact is, she challenged me, so what could I do? It was one of the few times in my young life when things actually went the way I would have liked them to. It was so satisfying. Blessings.
Tom
Comment from Sally Law
This was so well written and a delight to read. Having five brothers and six sons, I can certainly relate to this. My husband was an Eagle Scout as well. It is amazing how God stays with curious thrill seeking boys through everything and bring them to adulthood. Angels at work, I believe.
I enjoyed this so much, and I wish you all the best in the contest.
Sal :))
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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This was so well written and a delight to read. Having five brothers and six sons, I can certainly relate to this. My husband was an Eagle Scout as well. It is amazing how God stays with curious thrill seeking boys through everything and bring them to adulthood. Angels at work, I believe.
I enjoyed this so much, and I wish you all the best in the contest.
Sal :))
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for your kind review. I have two boys, all grown up and I still worry about what they're doing. One has an airplane and the other a boat. Oh well, angels still at work.
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You are most welcome, TB. My three grandsons are taking up the mantle. LOL! Blessings for your day,
Sal :))
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I bet that girl never challenged you again! Lol. I can just imagine you being delighted with that shot. You did well selling all those cards, and deserved to win the box and arrow. Shame about the ear! lol. I enjoyed this story of yours, typical boy's idea of fun. (Some tomboy girls, as well!!) Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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I bet that girl never challenged you again! Lol. I can just imagine you being delighted with that shot. You did well selling all those cards, and deserved to win the box and arrow. Shame about the ear! lol. I enjoyed this story of yours, typical boy's idea of fun. (Some tomboy girls, as well!!) Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much Sandra. The girl lived just a few streets over, but fortunately we never had much to do with each other. Her brother was a real piece of work too. It makes me wonder whatever happened to them. Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment from muffinmama
What a terrific story teller you are. This chapter of your life is narrated with wry humor and detailed images; I can picture you traipsing around with the cards and not finding the ice cube experiment particularly fascinating.
The incident with the ear and the reference to Handel's Messiah and the garage door had me laughing. The image in the following "We covered all the points of the compass in a mad dash to safety" also produced giggles.
"...smiles all around that only the ignorant can produce" is a great intro to prepare the reader for an upcoming disaster.
She had it coming! The kite should have caught on fire! LOL
Great job.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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What a terrific story teller you are. This chapter of your life is narrated with wry humor and detailed images; I can picture you traipsing around with the cards and not finding the ice cube experiment particularly fascinating.
The incident with the ear and the reference to Handel's Messiah and the garage door had me laughing. The image in the following "We covered all the points of the compass in a mad dash to safety" also produced giggles.
"...smiles all around that only the ignorant can produce" is a great intro to prepare the reader for an upcoming disaster.
She had it coming! The kite should have caught on fire! LOL
Great job.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Hi Mamma- I was just reading back through some of my portfolio and realized I never commented to your review. My sincere apologies. I appreciate the six stars and the comments. I agree the kite should have caught fire. It really would have been the icing on the cake.
Blessings
Tom
Comment from RetroStarfish
Great, rollicking story, and well told in a lovely, self deprecating way:
"Seeing no blood on my hand, I guessed that I still had two ears."
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Great, rollicking story, and well told in a lovely, self deprecating way:
"Seeing no blood on my hand, I guessed that I still had two ears."
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the kind review. It's funny how the things we experience, while not pleasant at the time, can produce the best fodder for stories. Have a great day.
Tom
