Another Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Underground is for the dead"American Isekai
9 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Even though the other could not understand why Paul was excited about his find, the reader will know. Some may be able to identify with Paul's little story. It is interesting how when he catches himself, he is able to save himself. What will they find in the desert??
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Even though the other could not understand why Paul was excited about his find, the reader will know. Some may be able to identify with Paul's little story. It is interesting how when he catches himself, he is able to save himself. What will they find in the desert??
Comment Written 11-May-2021
Comment from dmt1967
'They quickly retreated with the then trailing scout in the lead as he was the only man with a lighted leg-torch.
Soon the bird stopped, and then so did the men. They had made it to a conjunction point and relit their torches.' In my opinion, due to these two sentences being of the same topic, they should be together. I was told only a new topic or dialogue needs a new paragraph.
Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
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'They quickly retreated with the then trailing scout in the lead as he was the only man with a lighted leg-torch.
Soon the bird stopped, and then so did the men. They had made it to a conjunction point and relit their torches.' In my opinion, due to these two sentences being of the same topic, they should be together. I was told only a new topic or dialogue needs a new paragraph.
Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
Comment from judiverse
Has the earthquake ended the threat from the spiders? Eating the spiders sounds so disgusting. The earthquake uncovers some unexpected relics. They found a train car from the past, and Paul is absorbed with what he recognizes as a child's treasure box with a key. Paul stops himself from giving too much away about his past, but Raymond has noticed his response and it curious. Danger still lurks. Very suspenseful, and I"m curious to know what the box and key meant. Sorry for the delay. I'm still having trouble with the eye that had the eyelid surgery. judi
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Has the earthquake ended the threat from the spiders? Eating the spiders sounds so disgusting. The earthquake uncovers some unexpected relics. They found a train car from the past, and Paul is absorbed with what he recognizes as a child's treasure box with a key. Paul stops himself from giving too much away about his past, but Raymond has noticed his response and it curious. Danger still lurks. Very suspenseful, and I"m curious to know what the box and key meant. Sorry for the delay. I'm still having trouble with the eye that had the eyelid surgery. judi
Comment Written 03-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Thank you. There's no delay. Take care of yourself. Fanstory can wait.
The box will come up again, but more so for the next book.
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You're welcome. I had the stitches from the left side of my eye removed about two week and my eye still opens just half-way. I was told it take time to heal, but seems to me it's been a long time. Happy Easter.
judi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am afraid of spiders. I don't so well with them at all. About a year ago, I got bit by a brown recluse and it put me in the hospital a few days. I am so glad I am not with these men. You have done a great job with descriptions.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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I am afraid of spiders. I don't so well with them at all. About a year ago, I got bit by a brown recluse and it put me in the hospital a few days. I am so glad I am not with these men. You have done a great job with descriptions.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Barbara.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
lancellot:
Except for Christ, underground is really for the dead. I cannot even begin to sense the horror these men felt while being attacked by the spiders or during the earthquake. Your writing makes their feelings almost palpable. I anxiously await your next chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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lancellot:
Except for Christ, underground is really for the dead. I cannot even begin to sense the horror these men felt while being attacked by the spiders or during the earthquake. Your writing makes their feelings almost palpable. I anxiously await your next chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 02-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much. The next chapter is coming soon, just finishing the edits
Comment from Jay Squires
Like Raymond, I also want to know what the squire Paul has to say about the mystery of his past. I always look forward to the development of this story, Lance. You are quite a story-teller. You have excellent dramatic timing and your characters come alive.
I have one question for you. It's not in way of SPAG, but more a question of usage.
This was but the first blessing for the pitiful humans. [I think you may want to consider the difference between pitiful and pitiable, and whether you want to use the root word "pity" at all.]
All in all, a superb chapter, Lance. Again ... you posted it one day too soon for six stars. It is certainly worthy of one.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Like Raymond, I also want to know what the squire Paul has to say about the mystery of his past. I always look forward to the development of this story, Lance. You are quite a story-teller. You have excellent dramatic timing and your characters come alive.
I have one question for you. It's not in way of SPAG, but more a question of usage.
This was but the first blessing for the pitiful humans. [I think you may want to consider the difference between pitiful and pitiable, and whether you want to use the root word "pity" at all.]
All in all, a superb chapter, Lance. Again ... you posted it one day too soon for six stars. It is certainly worthy of one.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much. I see what you mean, I will look into that.
Comment from royowen
Raymond suspects that Paul I more than a mere squire, he wants to know how he knows what he knows about certain things. After the earthquake has laid to rest the danger of the Mother spider and her marauding offspring, they take of for home presumably, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : This is the first relic(t) we've found.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Raymond suspects that Paul I more than a mere squire, he wants to know how he knows what he knows about certain things. After the earthquake has laid to rest the danger of the Mother spider and her marauding offspring, they take of for home presumably, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : This is the first relic(t) we've found.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much and good eyes. I appreciate it.
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Most welcome
Comment from robyn corum
Lancellot,
Another groovy and slightly terrifying chapter in this ongoing story. I'm not sure what your intentions are for it, but I sure hope you plan to seek publication. It's quite good.
Notes:
1.) Algar's sword (scraped) the rocky ground.
2.) As sudden(ly) as it began, the quake ended.
3.) The men had mapped a good section of (the tunnels) surrounding the breaches (It's been a bit.)
Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Lancellot,
Another groovy and slightly terrifying chapter in this ongoing story. I'm not sure what your intentions are for it, but I sure hope you plan to seek publication. It's quite good.
Notes:
1.) Algar's sword (scraped) the rocky ground.
2.) As sudden(ly) as it began, the quake ended.
3.) The men had mapped a good section of (the tunnels) surrounding the breaches (It's been a bit.)
Thanks so much!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear friend, How many more chapters will it be before God Paul must confess to Raymond, his strange rebirth.
( even if he could.) in the meantime you must tell us All, what our protagonist are going to be facing When they encounter the minions of the desert king. and what they are going to do, when they discover all the people who, have been loyal to Raymond's father, have been killed!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Dear friend, How many more chapters will it be before God Paul must confess to Raymond, his strange rebirth.
( even if he could.) in the meantime you must tell us All, what our protagonist are going to be facing When they encounter the minions of the desert king. and what they are going to do, when they discover all the people who, have been loyal to Raymond's father, have been killed!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you.
A few more. We are almost at the end of this book.
