Finding My Way
Alone on a street57 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Hello, Amanda,
This is a wonderful poem that teases the senses. I can hear the noise, I can feel the sun, and I can feel those soft, smooth pebbles on my feet. I am sorry I don't have six stars left, because this poem surely deserves them.
Awesome, fresh sensory poem.
Have a blessed Sunday.
Hugs,
Cindy
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Hello, Amanda,
This is a wonderful poem that teases the senses. I can hear the noise, I can feel the sun, and I can feel those soft, smooth pebbles on my feet. I am sorry I don't have six stars left, because this poem surely deserves them.
Awesome, fresh sensory poem.
Have a blessed Sunday.
Hugs,
Cindy
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Hi Cindy, thank you so much for your great comments and your hugs. I needed that, both of them...
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😊
Comment from rjuselius
This is a brilliant entry for this particular contest dear amada! I love the story behind the poem. The prose write is insightful and inspiring..
Bravo my friend!
I wish I had six stars left!
Good luck!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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This is a brilliant entry for this particular contest dear amada! I love the story behind the poem. The prose write is insightful and inspiring..
Bravo my friend!
I wish I had six stars left!
Good luck!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Rebekka, for your great comments, theuy warm up my heart.
Comment from Wendy G
What a beautiful memory - and how very well it is expressed. You have captured her care, along with your emotion at being independent and grown-up. This format is perfect for this recollection. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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What a beautiful memory - and how very well it is expressed. You have captured her care, along with your emotion at being independent and grown-up. This format is perfect for this recollection. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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I appreciate stopping by and reading this little story about my grandma and my steps of freedom, dear Wendy.
Comment from Michele Harber
I promised I'd find a chance to read and review this, and I'm glad I did. You have a lovely, very poetic way with words, and I enjoyed the way you appealed to four of the senses. (If you'd tasted that fresh-baked bread you were smelling, you'd have hit all five.) Your love for your grandmother clearly shows through, particularly in the way a woman "barely five feet ... stood tall." Your words are very descriptive, and I was particularly taken by the phrase "The breeze carried the rumor of voices." This is very nicely done, and I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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I promised I'd find a chance to read and review this, and I'm glad I did. You have a lovely, very poetic way with words, and I enjoyed the way you appealed to four of the senses. (If you'd tasted that fresh-baked bread you were smelling, you'd have hit all five.) Your love for your grandmother clearly shows through, particularly in the way a woman "barely five feet ... stood tall." Your words are very descriptive, and I was particularly taken by the phrase "The breeze carried the rumor of voices." This is very nicely done, and I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you ,Michele for reading my work and for your encouraging words. Sincerely, I appreciate them.
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You're very welcome.
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It's my pleasure!
Comment from jake cosmos aller
nice hanibun poem about the love of a grandmother for her grandchildren and watching them grow up and learn how to walk the right path of life liked the stanza the best
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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nice hanibun poem about the love of a grandmother for her grandchildren and watching them grow up and learn how to walk the right path of life liked the stanza the best
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thaank you, Jake, Your comments are precious. Thank you.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Vivid imagery--evocative of a day in the life of this delightful child. Brilliant choice of rumor=murmur--had to look that up!
without missing a wink=she kept winking--don't you mean the opposite?
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Vivid imagery--evocative of a day in the life of this delightful child. Brilliant choice of rumor=murmur--had to look that up!
without missing a wink=she kept winking--don't you mean the opposite?
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Elizabeth. Your comments are lovely and insightful.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautiful work of prose for the haibun contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May your week be blessed with all things good.
Patricia
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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This is a beautiful work of prose for the haibun contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May your week be blessed with all things good.
Patricia
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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Thank you Patricia for reading my work and for your good wishes.
Comment from dragonpoet
Amada,
This poem uses metaphor and personification well in the prose to thoroughly describe the setting. The haiku describes the feeling created by this first bit of freedom.
I think the only problem is that you repeat conflicting descriptions about the market vistors' voices. You can erase one or the other.
Good luck, keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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Amada,
This poem uses metaphor and personification well in the prose to thoroughly describe the setting. The haiku describes the feeling created by this first bit of freedom.
I think the only problem is that you repeat conflicting descriptions about the market vistors' voices. You can erase one or the other.
Good luck, keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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Thaank you so much Joan...I got carried away in the market, I eliminated one of them.
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You are most kindly welcome, amada. Glad I could help.
Joan
Comment from nomi338
Freedom bears the sweetest taste. Otherwise why would men fight so ardently for it? Why would immigrants travel around the world with just the clothes on their backs in search of it. I tell you freedom in just the smallest amount, is something to be desired, and once obtained, you must never let go of it.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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Freedom bears the sweetest taste. Otherwise why would men fight so ardently for it? Why would immigrants travel around the world with just the clothes on their backs in search of it. I tell you freedom in just the smallest amount, is something to be desired, and once obtained, you must never let go of it.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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What great comments, Nomi38. I agree with you so much.
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Thank you.
Comment from MissMerri
I loved this Haibun. I'm sure most of us can easily relate to your early wishes for independence. You've described the feelings so clearly in your prose part and the poem is the crowing touch. "walking in midair" is the most perfect descriptive ending I can imagine. Great work... and I wish you much good luck in this contest. MM
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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I loved this Haibun. I'm sure most of us can easily relate to your early wishes for independence. You've described the feelings so clearly in your prose part and the poem is the crowing touch. "walking in midair" is the most perfect descriptive ending I can imagine. Great work... and I wish you much good luck in this contest. MM
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
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It is great to get your OK to my haibun, dear MissMerry.
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of course... I didn't mean "crowing touch." You don't crow. Crowning perhaps makes more sense. LOL
