Three Feet of Snow
a 150 word story22 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
Great little flash horror you have here, Bill. Poor kid, he probably had to testify in court. Well written and I really had not expected this twisted macabre ending. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :)) xo
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Great little flash horror you have here, Bill. Poor kid, he probably had to testify in court. Well written and I really had not expected this twisted macabre ending. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :)) xo
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Sally.
Comment from nomi338
I hope this does not hurt your feelings, but I saw this coming from at least a mile away. Knowing you and the way your mind operates, I just knew what the eventual outcome was going to be. This is not to say that I did not enjoy it. In fact I enjoyed it all the way. I would have been disappointed if it had happened any other way.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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I hope this does not hurt your feelings, but I saw this coming from at least a mile away. Knowing you and the way your mind operates, I just knew what the eventual outcome was going to be. This is not to say that I did not enjoy it. In fact I enjoyed it all the way. I would have been disappointed if it had happened any other way.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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I figured the end was telegraphed, but the subtext is the wife?s apathy and Kenny?s detached relief in seeing his dad?s corpse.
Comment from Mistydawn
What a horrible way to find your father, frozen in the snow. I can't imagine what that'd do to a kid. I wonder how the mother will react. Your flash fiction is well-written, interesting from start to finish. Good luck with your contest.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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What a horrible way to find your father, frozen in the snow. I can't imagine what that'd do to a kid. I wonder how the mother will react. Your flash fiction is well-written, interesting from start to finish. Good luck with your contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thanks, MD. The boy is a bit detached from reality.
Comment from BethShelby
This is funny flash fiction. I won't ask how all those men managed to make it through three feet of snow to date this popular lady, nor why Kenny was hoping to see his father again, as a stiff. Still. I enjoyed your creativity.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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This is funny flash fiction. I won't ask how all those men managed to make it through three feet of snow to date this popular lady, nor why Kenny was hoping to see his father again, as a stiff. Still. I enjoyed your creativity.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thanks, Beth
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Bill,
This is so sad. It's a wonderful lesson in not rushing to judgment.
You tell this story so well in just 150 words.
This is exceptional work, Bill.
Best wishes for the contest.
Cindy
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Bill,
This is so sad. It's a wonderful lesson in not rushing to judgment.
You tell this story so well in just 150 words.
This is exceptional work, Bill.
Best wishes for the contest.
Cindy
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Cindy, for the exceptional review. Bill
Comment from ESOSTINE
A beautiful work for the Flash Fiction contest entry. Th story wrapped my attention till the unexpected ending. Very sad for poor Kenny who could only see his dad buried under heap of snow. Was there a foul play by Kenny's mother? Thanks for sharing your inspiration.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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A beautiful work for the Flash Fiction contest entry. Th story wrapped my attention till the unexpected ending. Very sad for poor Kenny who could only see his dad buried under heap of snow. Was there a foul play by Kenny's mother? Thanks for sharing your inspiration.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thank you, E, for the great review. I assign no direct cause for Kenny?s dad?s death, only that helplessness and apathy left him under the snow for a month.
Comment from damommy
How sad. He hadn't left after all. What a shock that would be to find him like that. One could make a case that he was murdered since his wife was so quick to start seeing men. But I guess you intended that he fell in the snow and was buried in it.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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How sad. He hadn't left after all. What a shock that would be to find him like that. One could make a case that he was murdered since his wife was so quick to start seeing men. But I guess you intended that he fell in the snow and was buried in it.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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I think the boys helplessness and the wife?s apathy left him u de4 the snow.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Some might say the ending is predictable, but I am awarding you my last extra star of the week for writing quality:
Description - spot on. Varied and detailed
Character definition - solid, with varied characters (flighty mother and serious pensive boy)
Pace - well-adapted. Especially through use of sentence length.
As you can see I like this very much. I have to say I find your writing more interesting this year with less Pons and Ned scripts. I think you are growing as a writer since Christmas.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Some might say the ending is predictable, but I am awarding you my last extra star of the week for writing quality:
Description - spot on. Varied and detailed
Character definition - solid, with varied characters (flighty mother and serious pensive boy)
Pace - well-adapted. Especially through use of sentence length.
As you can see I like this very much. I have to say I find your writing more interesting this year with less Pons and Ned scripts. I think you are growing as a writer since Christmas.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Katherine, for the exception and detailed review. I like short works where I can quickly get to a twist.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Shades of homicide? Or what? This is truly something to be investigated so that all the details would be 'uncovered'. Did he slip and fall and hit his head? Where exactly did they find him dead?
Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Shades of homicide? Or what? This is truly something to be investigated so that all the details would be 'uncovered'. Did he slip and fall and hit his head? Where exactly did they find him dead?
Ralf
Comment Written 06-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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The feelings of loss and apathy were present here, along with the mixed blessing of the dad?s reappearance.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Kenny's dad's reappearance was a surprise as being buried in the snow.
Also, surprising was his mother's attitude of starting to date after 30 days.
It leaves the reader to question whether the mom killed her husband or the marriage was not working, so when the disappearance meant little to her.
Very well written to leave the question open.
Good luck in the contest.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Kenny's dad's reappearance was a surprise as being buried in the snow.
Also, surprising was his mother's attitude of starting to date after 30 days.
It leaves the reader to question whether the mom killed her husband or the marriage was not working, so when the disappearance meant little to her.
Very well written to leave the question open.
Good luck in the contest.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 06-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Mary, for the great review. Yes, the question is not solved here, but the idea of loss and apathy are present.
