Comment from LisaMay

Good

You've given us a glimpse of your childhood entertainment that you obviously enjoyed. you've captured the pleasure well, but the contest says it is for a rhyming poem and i don't see any rhyme.

I noticed a minor typo in this line:
even if I never won any og them, (og should be of)

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2021

Thank you! I have fixed the mistakes. Does it rhyme? Is it better? Please help.

reply by LisaMay on 05-Mar-2021

That's better - you have some rhyme now.
It's your poem, so i don't want to suggest too many changes, but you could perhaps put some lines in such as :

Played in video arcade
where great memories were made
lots of children testing their skills
in video games there were lots of thrills
Even if I never won
I always had a lot of fun
playing various games entering those
animation fantasies I chose,
like discovering galaxies in Star Wars,
much more fun than doing chores!

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2021

I changed it. did what you suggested. Please check it again.

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2021

I changed it. did what you suggested. Please check it again.

reply by LisaMay on 06-Mar-2021

Did you see how there were more words that rhymed? I hope I helped by showing you. Next time you'll be able to make more rhymes yourself. Good luck!

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

We are of a different generation (maybe generations) however I enjoyment of animated fantasies is what I enjoyed in your poem
I had the same luck with slot machines!
so error correct of with of
Regards
Mary

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2021

Thank you!