Caballeros book 3 Wild boys
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Noel high school age 16"The Story of Noel and Sabrina. Can Noel be tamed?
2 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Syl,
Hello! I gotta tell you up front that I did not read this whole piece. I think you should strongly consider adding a flag for sex. I would have skipped it if I had know the content -sorry - I am a huge prude, I know.
But I do have a few notes for you before I go:
1.) The summer flew t by, and having sex daily with a hot girl does that to you.
--> delete the floating 't'
2.) He has been talking to my mom, and she tells me things he says, and I'm not interested in what he has to say.
--> He has been talking to my mom, and she (tries to pass on the) things he says, (but) I'm not interested(.)
--> try to avoid repeating things
3.) My dad was pissed off because he wanted me to go to his school Alama Mater Texas A&M.
--> My dad was pissed off because he wanted me to go to his (Alma) Mater, (delete space) Texas A&M.
--> watch your spacing
4.) She didn't get into (delete space) UC Merced, but she (was accepted by
(delete space) UC(delete space) LA(. I)t's only four hours away.
After this part the sex popped up a LOT and I had to stop. But I was kinda surprised to find this many nits in the first paragraph. Please be sure and take your time and read and re-read your posts before posting. It can make a huge difference. If you write your pieces in a Word doc first before bringing them over, be sure to check out all the things the editor there highlights. You can catch a lot of your mistakes or questionable items before you get here. And finally, when you get it ready here and BEFORE you release it, always save your pieces in the PREVIEW mode first. That way you can be the first one to look at it before anyone else. When you do that you can catch a lot more of your mistakes, if there are any. READ the post OUT LOUD. You'll be amazed at how many more issues you'll find when you do this. Crazy. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
   |
Syl,
Hello! I gotta tell you up front that I did not read this whole piece. I think you should strongly consider adding a flag for sex. I would have skipped it if I had know the content -sorry - I am a huge prude, I know.
But I do have a few notes for you before I go:
1.) The summer flew t by, and having sex daily with a hot girl does that to you.
--> delete the floating 't'
2.) He has been talking to my mom, and she tells me things he says, and I'm not interested in what he has to say.
--> He has been talking to my mom, and she (tries to pass on the) things he says, (but) I'm not interested(.)
--> try to avoid repeating things
3.) My dad was pissed off because he wanted me to go to his school Alama Mater Texas A&M.
--> My dad was pissed off because he wanted me to go to his (Alma) Mater, (delete space) Texas A&M.
--> watch your spacing
4.) She didn't get into (delete space) UC Merced, but she (was accepted by
(delete space) UC(delete space) LA(. I)t's only four hours away.
After this part the sex popped up a LOT and I had to stop. But I was kinda surprised to find this many nits in the first paragraph. Please be sure and take your time and read and re-read your posts before posting. It can make a huge difference. If you write your pieces in a Word doc first before bringing them over, be sure to check out all the things the editor there highlights. You can catch a lot of your mistakes or questionable items before you get here. And finally, when you get it ready here and BEFORE you release it, always save your pieces in the PREVIEW mode first. That way you can be the first one to look at it before anyone else. When you do that you can catch a lot more of your mistakes, if there are any. READ the post OUT LOUD. You'll be amazed at how many more issues you'll find when you do this. Crazy. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
-
Thanks
Comment from Iza Deleanu
So nice not to worry about housing and just focus on school, is this not any kids dream:) let's hope he will study so his dad can have a return on investment:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
|
So nice not to worry about housing and just focus on school, is this not any kids dream:) let's hope he will study so his dad can have a return on investment:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Thank you!
