Caballeros book 3 Wild boys
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Noel age 16 cont."The Story of Noel and Sabrina. Can Noel be tamed?
2 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
This is another well crafted chapter. There some minor housekeeping edits you should look out for. I marked a few examples:
notes:
Watch out for that one{.}" Guerro says, laughing.
- comma
"Text me so I can save yours."(.) She nods and walks
- delete
"Keep telling yourself and your friend {that." She} says,
- that," she
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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This is another well crafted chapter. There some minor housekeeping edits you should look out for. I marked a few examples:
notes:
Watch out for that one{.}" Guerro says, laughing.
- comma
"Text me so I can save yours."(.) She nods and walks
- delete
"Keep telling yourself and your friend {that." She} says,
- that," she
Comment Written 26-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from RetroStarfish
It's hard to believe that you are a first time writer. This story is excellent. You've nailed the language of teenagers (experience?) and the setting and plot are bang on teen drama.
It's labeled as romance fiction but you might want to note somewhere in the author's notes that it is Young Adult fiction.
A couple of small things:
"it might be fun." I laugh. [Need to capitalize the i in "It" and use a comma instead of a period after "fun"]
The Gooch can read a dude to filth, [not sure if you meant "lead" a dude to filth or something else, but I didn't get this line.]
Nicely done!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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It's hard to believe that you are a first time writer. This story is excellent. You've nailed the language of teenagers (experience?) and the setting and plot are bang on teen drama.
It's labeled as romance fiction but you might want to note somewhere in the author's notes that it is Young Adult fiction.
A couple of small things:
"it might be fun." I laugh. [Need to capitalize the i in "It" and use a comma instead of a period after "fun"]
The Gooch can read a dude to filth, [not sure if you meant "lead" a dude to filth or something else, but I didn't get this line.]
Nicely done!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much! The first few chapters are Noel as a teen but the book eventually goes into present day with him as an adult. The line read to filth is slang for she can cut them down to size just with her words hope that helps :)
