Caballeros book 3 Wild boys
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Noel 16 cont."The Story of Noel and Sabrina. Can Noel be tamed?
2 total reviews
Comment from GE Parson
Inerstng story, could be a real life scenario or just a made up one, I'm not sure which. I about rated this a 4 or maybe a 3 because of the F words you floated into it. I woiuld suggest yoiu eliminae those kind of words, as they are the words of
the low life of this wrld.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Inerstng story, could be a real life scenario or just a made up one, I'm not sure which. I about rated this a 4 or maybe a 3 because of the F words you floated into it. I woiuld suggest yoiu eliminae those kind of words, as they are the words of
the low life of this wrld.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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thanks Sorry for the F bombs LOL
Comment from lancellot
Okay, I hope that you read this review and objectively see what I'm saying.
I like this. I really do. I read is and see scene in my head. Right down to Noel's mom absent minded turning out the lights. You have a great style of storytelling. I can see you being a top novelist here.
But, first you have work on your mechanics.
Get rid of the italics. Use that only for thoughts.
Speech tags and action tags. Get better knowing how to correctly use them.
Your tale is Noel focused, as fitting a first person, but it can be limiting.
Investment in a editing program can help. Grammerly.
. Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head. "When you're ready, I'm here."
- make sure you always separate different characters actions and dialogue.
Try not be too dialogue heavy.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Okay, I hope that you read this review and objectively see what I'm saying.
I like this. I really do. I read is and see scene in my head. Right down to Noel's mom absent minded turning out the lights. You have a great style of storytelling. I can see you being a top novelist here.
But, first you have work on your mechanics.
Get rid of the italics. Use that only for thoughts.
Speech tags and action tags. Get better knowing how to correctly use them.
Your tale is Noel focused, as fitting a first person, but it can be limiting.
Investment in a editing program can help. Grammerly.
. Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head. "When you're ready, I'm here."
- make sure you always separate different characters actions and dialogue.
Try not be too dialogue heavy.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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thanks!
