Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Dear Mystery Writer,

I really, really liked this poem. It flowed smoothly along in spite of the commandments from on high in regard to line demands and syllable insistences. hahaha Then I got to the middle line and thought, ACK! No, no! So far, this has been my favorite entry! We can't let anything go wrong, now! Not when we've come so far together! haha

Anyway, here are a couple things for you to consider: You may use them or toss, as you prefer:

Warm (compassionate) kindness for everyone [d- 'one'] she sees.
--> as you can see 'compassioned' would not be correct - I've substituted the correct version for you
--> you have an extra 'one' in the line. Removing it, I think, will still leave you with 12 syllables? Please check, of course, to be sure.

Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021

Oh no, I must fix this. ack haha Thanks so much for the great advice and encouragement. Not loving this poem type but could not lose my $5.50 haha
okay, I tweaked that line and the next on, so I think is better. Of course as soon as I finished, I think of any twenty more wonderful traits. Cheers, hope that you are safe and warm.
mystery writer

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello anonymous

Great entry for the Share A Diatelle Poem writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Your presentation is lovely.

You are very lucky to have your beautiful mom.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021

Thanks for the review, gypsy. She is so happy in her new place, so that's good. I hope that you are safe and happy, cheers, j

Comment from LisaCalton

Excellent

Beautiful ode to your mom. I love the different words used to define how special she is. Perfect syllables. I loved reading it. I think we all owe a poem to our mom.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021

Thanks for the thoughtful review. She really is special. 93 years old, still lives very happily on her own.. I could have written another million lines, and then, oh jeez I forgot about that other lovely trait of hers haha.
Cheers, I think she will smile to have a poem of her own, j

Comment from LisaMay

Excellent

I enjoyed your homage poem to your wonderfully inspiring Mom. You've managed the difficult rhyme scheme with near rhymes quite skilfully.
Just one minor correction spotted: skys should be spelled skies.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021

Thanks for the thoughtful review and correction. She will be happy to see a poem just for her, cheers, j

Comment from Jimmy Hogg

Excellent

Yeah, very good use of the format to tell a beautiful story. I particularly like the line- "Even designs her own clothes... seamlessly." Clever.

Good luck

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021

Thanks for the review. I think she will be happy to have a poem just for her, cheers, j