Another Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Desert King"American Isekai
9 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This one line is great tongue-in-humor: "Then get to cutting." This plot has twisted and twisted yet agaim. My concern is where Paul is going to fit into this whole battle of wills. We shall see, shant we???
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This one line is great tongue-in-humor: "Then get to cutting." This plot has twisted and twisted yet agaim. My concern is where Paul is going to fit into this whole battle of wills. We shall see, shant we???
Comment Written 11-May-2021
Comment from dmt1967
The pitcher was thrown with such force that the general's nose exploded in a spray of blood as his eyes involuntarily shut and (his) knees buckled. (delete) The reader knows it is his knees. If you put the second 'his' in the sentence sounds too repetitive, in my opinion. Great chapter, a bit hard working out who is who lol. But I like stories with less characters lol. That is a preface thing. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
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The pitcher was thrown with such force that the general's nose exploded in a spray of blood as his eyes involuntarily shut and (his) knees buckled. (delete) The reader knows it is his knees. If you put the second 'his' in the sentence sounds too repetitive, in my opinion. Great chapter, a bit hard working out who is who lol. But I like stories with less characters lol. That is a preface thing. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2021
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
lancellot:
Either General Alexander's men are pulling off the greatest deception
ever known to man so they can strike on his behalf at a later date - or
Alexander has just experienced one of the worst betrayals in history.
I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
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lancellot:
Either General Alexander's men are pulling off the greatest deception
ever known to man so they can strike on his behalf at a later date - or
Alexander has just experienced one of the worst betrayals in history.
I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
Comment from Jay Squires
This was a dynamic chapter. Your action sequences are superb, Lance. I could really find nothing to improve on in grammar or punctuation. Your dialogue popped and your description was marvelous.
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This was a dynamic chapter. Your action sequences are superb, Lance. I could really find nothing to improve on in grammar or punctuation. Your dialogue popped and your description was marvelous.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear lancellot, what treachery some men will do just for power Still amazes me. But such treachery has been recorded again and again since Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden.
I still hope that Edward will receive his just reward when Paul emerges from the tunnels.
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Dear lancellot, what treachery some men will do just for power Still amazes me. But such treachery has been recorded again and again since Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden.
I still hope that Edward will receive his just reward when Paul emerges from the tunnels.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I think this chapter should be called outfoxed: "Edward placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to the man's ear. "Your army, or should I say, my army is already here. Don't you see, General? The leader of these people did not promise me anything. I am their leader. Now, thanks to you and my soon to be deposed father, I have an army three times the size of any other desert tribe. Now, I truly am the Desert King."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
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I think this chapter should be called outfoxed: "Edward placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to the man's ear. "Your army, or should I say, my army is already here. Don't you see, General? The leader of these people did not promise me anything. I am their leader. Now, thanks to you and my soon to be deposed father, I have an army three times the size of any other desert tribe. Now, I truly am the Desert King."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
Comment from robyn corum
Lance,
He also sounds like he would be a riot at a party. Fun guy. Please be sure to let me know in advance if we're invited to the same one, though. I have a feeling I'll be sick that night.
Very interesting and horrid plot line - and also horribly realistic. I'm not sure how I've missed THIRTY previous chapters of this story. I mean, if it was one or two, I'd probably understand that. THIRTY+? Oh, my.
And I am still clanking my metal cup on my jail bars -- I want more of your juvenile detention stories. That should be a book. NOW. For sale on Amazon. I want the first signed copy. Get to work.
Though I admit, this is really good, too. You are quite the versatile author. *smile* I am more and more impressed with each day and each read.
Notes:
1.) Two took up station(s) on either side of Edward,
--> two guys = two stations
2.) The (f)lap opened again, and two women entered.
3.) Alexander struggled briefly until another powerful blow to (his) broken nose rendered him unconscious.
4.) Edward smiled, raised one jewel(ed) finger, and began waving it
5.) Now, I (truly) am the Desert King."
Oh, yeah. Why didn't he look like Edward, btw? You didn't return to that thought...
Thanks!
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Lance,
He also sounds like he would be a riot at a party. Fun guy. Please be sure to let me know in advance if we're invited to the same one, though. I have a feeling I'll be sick that night.
Very interesting and horrid plot line - and also horribly realistic. I'm not sure how I've missed THIRTY previous chapters of this story. I mean, if it was one or two, I'd probably understand that. THIRTY+? Oh, my.
And I am still clanking my metal cup on my jail bars -- I want more of your juvenile detention stories. That should be a book. NOW. For sale on Amazon. I want the first signed copy. Get to work.
Though I admit, this is really good, too. You are quite the versatile author. *smile* I am more and more impressed with each day and each read.
Notes:
1.) Two took up station(s) on either side of Edward,
--> two guys = two stations
2.) The (f)lap opened again, and two women entered.
3.) Alexander struggled briefly until another powerful blow to (his) broken nose rendered him unconscious.
4.) Edward smiled, raised one jewel(ed) finger, and began waving it
5.) Now, I (truly) am the Desert King."
Oh, yeah. Why didn't he look like Edward, btw? You didn't return to that thought...
Thanks!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
Comment from royowen
An excellent story, one of treachery and betrayal as it were, and a Rebellious son of the ruler of the kingdom, and plans to depose him, after disabling Alexander, and slaying Colonel who was the General's back up. Well done, great story, blessings Roy
Typo : Blow to (the) nose...2: Leaders of (the) desert people. 3: my soon to be (disposed) father. Deposed? 4 : Now I am (truely) truly?
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An excellent story, one of treachery and betrayal as it were, and a Rebellious son of the ruler of the kingdom, and plans to depose him, after disabling Alexander, and slaying Colonel who was the General's back up. Well done, great story, blessings Roy
Typo : Blow to (the) nose...2: Leaders of (the) desert people. 3: my soon to be (disposed) father. Deposed? 4 : Now I am (truely) truly?
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
Comment from forestport12
You sure can take a complicated plot with sub-plots and something that feels like a widescreen cinema and also write in a way that is simple and powerful so me, the reader doesn't get bogged down and the plot keeps at a good pace. Liked the fact that you list everyone in a concise but complete way, esp. since like me, I haven't followed every chapter. But it gets into it quickly.
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You sure can take a complicated plot with sub-plots and something that feels like a widescreen cinema and also write in a way that is simple and powerful so me, the reader doesn't get bogged down and the plot keeps at a good pace. Liked the fact that you list everyone in a concise but complete way, esp. since like me, I haven't followed every chapter. But it gets into it quickly.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
