Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Football Chapter 11 part 3"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Interesting backstory--will there be more--i.e. why she married him in the first place--was he always like that--this scene is intense and tender--I look forward to the wedding!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Interesting backstory--will there be more--i.e. why she married him in the first place--was he always like that--this scene is intense and tender--I look forward to the wedding!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Yes, there's a lot more coming, but in small doses. Thank you for the kind review. George was not a good person.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think that late husband of Katherines was a right jerk. I'm glad that Gabriel is nice, I'm sure there is going to be a romance there. And, I'm sure her sons will approve. I hate thunderstorms like that, but like Jeremy, if I am asleep before a storm start, I'll sleep through them, too. Well done, Barbara, another excellent part to your story. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I think that late husband of Katherines was a right jerk. I'm glad that Gabriel is nice, I'm sure there is going to be a romance there. And, I'm sure her sons will approve. I hate thunderstorms like that, but like Jeremy, if I am asleep before a storm start, I'll sleep through them, too. Well done, Barbara, another excellent part to your story. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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We will later find out how much of a jerk he really was. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a very good chapter, Barbara,
that reveals some of Katherine's
background, and Gabe's sensitivity.
-I don't know how long Katherine
stayed married, but she sure had
a louse of a husband.
-I like how you use the storm in
the story to bring Gabriel and
Katherine a little closer.
-It is a bit early for involvement, but
the flickers are there.
-I think they are very good for
each other, and he obviously
cares for the boys, too.
-Well done, I am enjoying the story.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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-This is a very good chapter, Barbara,
that reveals some of Katherine's
background, and Gabe's sensitivity.
-I don't know how long Katherine
stayed married, but she sure had
a louse of a husband.
-I like how you use the storm in
the story to bring Gabriel and
Katherine a little closer.
-It is a bit early for involvement, but
the flickers are there.
-I think they are very good for
each other, and he obviously
cares for the boys, too.
-Well done, I am enjoying the story.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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We will later find out how much of a jerk he really was. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're going to make him look bad at the end? You have hinted at it in the story, and based on some of our professional athletes, anything is possible! You are welcome for the review.
Comment from RetroStarfish
Another sweet chapter. It was nice to hear about Katherine's background in New York and very understandable why she left. Forgive me if this was in an earlier chapter and I missed it, but it feels right here.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Another sweet chapter. It was nice to hear about Katherine's background in New York and very understandable why she left. Forgive me if this was in an earlier chapter and I missed it, but it feels right here.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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George died. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RGstar
Thought I would come in and support here Barbara, to get a taste f your writing.
Would have liked to see the periphery used a little more, but hey...the dialogues were well written, and natural, as they should be. Always a good sign when I am able to immerse and not worry whether or not I had read previous chapters. I knew you were a good writer as I read a couple of works from you a few years ago. Sadly I have been a little stop-start, so do not really like to start when work has long started. Your writing is routined and well under control, which puts you in the class of the top authors. I would like to have known more , but it was a pleasure to experience the professionalism in this chapter.
One little thing:
"The boys and I lived by ourselves in a huge penthouse. Here the boys"The boys and I lived by ourselves in a huge penthouse. Here the boys have my mom, large backyard to play in," she smiled," she smiled,''
Should there be an apostrophe after mom (mom's)?
Good write Barbara. I am glad I came.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thought I would come in and support here Barbara, to get a taste f your writing.
Would have liked to see the periphery used a little more, but hey...the dialogues were well written, and natural, as they should be. Always a good sign when I am able to immerse and not worry whether or not I had read previous chapters. I knew you were a good writer as I read a couple of works from you a few years ago. Sadly I have been a little stop-start, so do not really like to start when work has long started. Your writing is routined and well under control, which puts you in the class of the top authors. I would like to have known more , but it was a pleasure to experience the professionalism in this chapter.
One little thing:
"The boys and I lived by ourselves in a huge penthouse. Here the boys"The boys and I lived by ourselves in a huge penthouse. Here the boys have my mom, large backyard to play in," she smiled," she smiled,''
Should there be an apostrophe after mom (mom's)?
Good write Barbara. I am glad I came.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I am glad you stopped by. I will recheck that area. Thank you for pointing it out.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, this chapter is kind a like here's the ice cream cone, and there is goes. A couple little maybes, and then, nope, not tonight. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Well, this chapter is kind a like here's the ice cream cone, and there is goes. A couple little maybes, and then, nope, not tonight. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
The plot thickens! There's a lot of flirting going on. Is someone still watching? Will her reputation be destroyed? Guess we'll have to wait for the next installment.
Good job building the tension.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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The plot thickens! There's a lot of flirting going on. Is someone still watching? Will her reputation be destroyed? Guess we'll have to wait for the next installment.
Good job building the tension.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and yes, they are still being watched. I wonder by who.
Comment from lancellot
Well, that why like thunder, when on a date. It's nature's way of helping a brother out. This was a good chapter, you did a wonderful job pulling on these old heart strings. And Gabe is making progress at a nice pace.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Well, that why like thunder, when on a date. It's nature's way of helping a brother out. This was a good chapter, you did a wonderful job pulling on these old heart strings. And Gabe is making progress at a nice pace.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Your reviews always peek my interest. I hold my breath when I read them. You tend to let me know what works and what doesn't.
Comment from Sankey
This was a great chapter. Can see the storm bringing them together.
Now for some spags. Either "My weather app['s] shows a large dark red band
OR "My weather app's show(ing)[s] a large dark red band
"Of course.[delete space] "(add space)Gabriel
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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This was a great chapter. Can see the storm bringing them together.
Now for some spags. Either "My weather app['s] shows a large dark red band
OR "My weather app's show(ing)[s] a large dark red band
"Of course.[delete space] "(add space)Gabriel
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Fixed them. Thank you for the catches.
Comment from Jay Squires
Just curious ... is this significant?
<"You don't need too."> "you don't need to (?)
Okay, girl! I like where this is going. Gabriel proves himself once more that he is a gentleman. I'll go so far as to say, "They make a cute couple!"
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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<"You don't need too."> "you don't need to (?)
Okay, girl! I like where this is going. Gabriel proves himself once more that he is a gentleman. I'll go so far as to say, "They make a cute couple!"
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your approval. I needed it.
