Friends Forever
Poem for children about fairies5 total reviews
Comment from DeboraDyess
I love the story in your poem! It's wonderful and kids would gravitate to it.
My one thought is that your mere is off. YOu have such a swing in your syllable count that it distracted me. If you were to look at publishing this, I'd suggest you go through and decide on a count, then try to keep all stanzas the same.
But I love this!
Blessings and best in the contest,
Deb
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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I love the story in your poem! It's wonderful and kids would gravitate to it.
My one thought is that your mere is off. YOu have such a swing in your syllable count that it distracted me. If you were to look at publishing this, I'd suggest you go through and decide on a count, then try to keep all stanzas the same.
But I love this!
Blessings and best in the contest,
Deb
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Yes, I think you're right. Thank you for pointing that out. I'll work on it. Hugs and blessings.
Comment from cupa tea
This is a cute little poem. It has some spots that do not rhyme so well; however, it does rhyme extremely well in spots that suprise me.
My only concern is if this poem is for a child wouldn't it be better to have a fairy with cloths on in the image...
Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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This is a cute little poem. It has some spots that do not rhyme so well; however, it does rhyme extremely well in spots that suprise me.
My only concern is if this poem is for a child wouldn't it be better to have a fairy with cloths on in the image...
Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for pointing out that my picture had a nude fairy in it! I changed it and I am very appreciative. I did not know. thank you also for your other comments. I am going to go back and look at my rhymes again. Hugs.
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I voted for your poem nonethless....I liked the little story...
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
This is such a cute poem and with a great message! I really love the way you told an entire story from beginning to end in rhyming verse with a flowing meter that children would really enjoy! Well, even I enjoyed it! lol
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest! You have my vote!
Susan
Oh, and before I forget - In the ninth stanza, second line, I think you meant to use "then" instead of "than" in "Just then..."
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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This is such a cute poem and with a great message! I really love the way you told an entire story from beginning to end in rhyming verse with a flowing meter that children would really enjoy! Well, even I enjoyed it! lol
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest! You have my vote!
Susan
Oh, and before I forget - In the ninth stanza, second line, I think you meant to use "then" instead of "than" in "Just then..."
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
Thank you so much for the complementary review and the six stars! I humbly appreciate it. I'm so happy that you enjoyed the poem. Thank you, also, for catching that typo. Hugs!
Comment from Susan Newell
This is as delightful as delightful gets. It's a wonderful poem for children and I could see it as an illustrated book. At first, the image made me think that Skye was a fairy.
The one line I have issue with is "Angrily, Skye said." I think you can do better than "said."
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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This is as delightful as delightful gets. It's a wonderful poem for children and I could see it as an illustrated book. At first, the image made me think that Skye was a fairy.
The one line I have issue with is "Angrily, Skye said." I think you can do better than "said."
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your comments. I agree. I was running out of time before the deadline, but now that I could relax and think, I fixed it. How do you like this stanza instead?
"I can't find anything to do,"
Skye grumbled with a frown.
She crossed her arms and huffed
As an acorn conked her crown.
Personally, I like it at least 50 times better. Thank you for pointing out how terrible that actually sounded. :-) Hugs.
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At least 51 times better!
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I like the promise made between the two friends: ""And lastly, try to show the world, With a smile upon your face, That love and magic are for real In each and every place?" Smiling is always good and it makes people more approachable and easier to develop relationship. We certainly need LOVE to survive...
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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I like the promise made between the two friends: ""And lastly, try to show the world, With a smile upon your face, That love and magic are for real In each and every place?" Smiling is always good and it makes people more approachable and easier to develop relationship. We certainly need LOVE to survive...
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments. I had my mother read the poem, and the lesson she got out of it was that she wanted to hide under a porch. Ha ha I told her that she missed the point. I think my mom is having a hard day. I better go to her house and give her a smile. :-) Thanks again, and hugs.
