Professor Raven's Haunting Class
Howling winds, desolate streets, the secrets of ghosts9 total reviews
Comment from AJ McCall
Wow. This is the most clever, surprising, and very very interesting ghost story! A 2021 class of ghosts who are making their way to Halloween... this was funny. The story with the little boy becoming a dog was a little sad but the story was nicely written. Flowed easily and was super engaging! Great contest entry!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Wow. This is the most clever, surprising, and very very interesting ghost story! A 2021 class of ghosts who are making their way to Halloween... this was funny. The story with the little boy becoming a dog was a little sad but the story was nicely written. Flowed easily and was super engaging! Great contest entry!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Wow! I am so pleased that you enjoyed the fact that it was a classroom experience and they were learning how to be a proper ghost. I truly appreciate your review and the stars are so very kind of you. Smiles to you!
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You're welcome! I love a good ghost short story!
Comment from BethShelby
This is a very creative and neat ghost story. I wonder how the professor decided who will haunt and who will help. It's nice to know they all get to enjoy Mama cooking.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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This is a very creative and neat ghost story. I wonder how the professor decided who will haunt and who will help. It's nice to know they all get to enjoy Mama cooking.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Hi Beth! I'm not to good at this ghost writing but I keep trying. Glad you read my entry and enjoyed it. Smiles to you!
Comment from Jimmy Hogg
Great opening, jumps off the page, and brings you in immediately.
Not sure about, "It looked like no one had lived there for many years, but looks were deceiving." Maybe it could be, "no-one had lived there for many years, or so it was said." Or just, "It looked like no one had lived there for many years, but looks CAN BE deceiving."
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Great opening, jumps off the page, and brings you in immediately.
Not sure about, "It looked like no one had lived there for many years, but looks were deceiving." Maybe it could be, "no-one had lived there for many years, or so it was said." Or just, "It looked like no one had lived there for many years, but looks CAN BE deceiving."
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thanks Jimmy. Your choice of how to write the sentence could be acceptable as well. Thanks for the suggestion and for taking the time to read my entry. Smiles to you!
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This was such an unusual and creative take on the challenge. Kudos! Even if I may have read about haunting-students before, I'm certain it's never been in a family setting and in an old haunted house. What originality!
Some notes, if I may:
1.) I couldn't do that to him(.)" Timmy stared at his lap.
2.) Your mission was a tough one(,) too, wasn't it(,) Amanda?
3.) "Michael put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn't laugh out loud.
--> you never shared that this was someone other than Michael speaking.
Nice job -- Good luck!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Dear Mystery Writer,
This was such an unusual and creative take on the challenge. Kudos! Even if I may have read about haunting-students before, I'm certain it's never been in a family setting and in an old haunted house. What originality!
Some notes, if I may:
1.) I couldn't do that to him(.)" Timmy stared at his lap.
2.) Your mission was a tough one(,) too, wasn't it(,) Amanda?
3.) "Michael put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn't laugh out loud.
--> you never shared that this was someone other than Michael speaking.
Nice job -- Good luck!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Robyn, for your alert eyes and gracious comments. I appreciate the assistance - this old lady's eyes are failing and probably the mind as well. LOL Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
The picture is nice. It is scary and all the stories are ok but none of them scares me. I was reading the stories and hoped the next one would be a scary one... but no.
The writing is good. It flows well.
Than you for sharing. Good luck to your contest.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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The picture is nice. It is scary and all the stories are ok but none of them scares me. I was reading the stories and hoped the next one would be a scary one... but no.
The writing is good. It flows well.
Than you for sharing. Good luck to your contest.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you for stopping by and reading my story. I'm not much on ghost stories, but I decided to try. Guess as a Grandma I was more in the thoughts of teaching and new beginnings.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi this was a fun read actually, I think because of the little twist at the end.
It had a good pace and kept me reading, well done.
Peter, a former track star, reached the porch first. He was excited. "Jasper,
It was so cool. You're not going to believe -" spacing issue...
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Hi this was a fun read actually, I think because of the little twist at the end.
It had a good pace and kept me reading, well done.
Peter, a former track star, reached the porch first. He was excited. "Jasper,
It was so cool. You're not going to believe -" spacing issue...
Comment Written 17-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thanks so much. I took care of my typing problem and spacing. Thanks for pointing it out. I appreciate your comments and for taking the time to read the ghost story.
Comment from muffinmama
The concept of this story is original and entertaining. There is enough variety to produce a guide book on how to be a ghost!
However, my enjoyment of the story was slightly spoiled by too many editing/grammatical/punctuation issues; the read became less smooth. For example, I'm sure you meant to delete one of the following paragraphs:
The wind carried the sound of a woman's laughter to Jasper's trained ear. He recognized the owner of the melodic laugh; Jasmine.
The melodic sound of a woman's laughter drifted on the wind. Instantly, Jasper recognized the voice as Jasmine's. Michael and Jasmine, two of the older students, would be strolling hand in hand, oblivious to the rain. They were inseparable; mates for life.
'From the other end of the street, a larger group raced towards the house, dodging low hanging branches, rolling garbage cans, and a stray cat or two.' This sentence reads as though the group was also rolling a stray cat or two. Did you omit a verb in that last part?
In the following, Jasper should have a period, not a comma after it.
"Jasper,
It was so cool. You're not going to believe -"
In the following sentence, 'ran' should be 'run': A few years back, she'd ran away with...
There are a few other careless errors. Once they are cleared up, you'll have a super story.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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The concept of this story is original and entertaining. There is enough variety to produce a guide book on how to be a ghost!
However, my enjoyment of the story was slightly spoiled by too many editing/grammatical/punctuation issues; the read became less smooth. For example, I'm sure you meant to delete one of the following paragraphs:
The wind carried the sound of a woman's laughter to Jasper's trained ear. He recognized the owner of the melodic laugh; Jasmine.
The melodic sound of a woman's laughter drifted on the wind. Instantly, Jasper recognized the voice as Jasmine's. Michael and Jasmine, two of the older students, would be strolling hand in hand, oblivious to the rain. They were inseparable; mates for life.
'From the other end of the street, a larger group raced towards the house, dodging low hanging branches, rolling garbage cans, and a stray cat or two.' This sentence reads as though the group was also rolling a stray cat or two. Did you omit a verb in that last part?
In the following, Jasper should have a period, not a comma after it.
"Jasper,
It was so cool. You're not going to believe -"
In the following sentence, 'ran' should be 'run': A few years back, she'd ran away with...
There are a few other careless errors. Once they are cleared up, you'll have a super story.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your suggestions. I did mean to eliminate the one paragraph when I rewrote it. As for dodging branches, garbage cans, and stray cats - I changed it to other flying debris.
Jasper was a setup problem. It should have been - Jasper, it was so cool.
Appreciate that you took the time to point these errors out. Thank you.
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I need to apologize. I misread the sentence with all the flying debris. I mistook rolling for a verb, not an adjective, whereas now I see that the sentence is perfect and the only verb is dodging. Please keep the sentence as is; it's colorful.
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Not a problem ...I decided flying debris was good. Smiles!
Comment from royowen
I rather liked your rather quaint and imaginative story, it's decidedly different to any others of similar ilk, I fancy that this classroom is looking out for mankind, and that's a very good idea, you've written a fascinating piece, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : You did very (good) Timothy. Well?
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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I rather liked your rather quaint and imaginative story, it's decidedly different to any others of similar ilk, I fancy that this classroom is looking out for mankind, and that's a very good idea, you've written a fascinating piece, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : You did very (good) Timothy. Well?
Comment Written 17-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Roy. I appreciate all your comments and blessings. Writing about ghosts is a new genre for me, but I'm trying to get the hang of it. Thank you again!
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Good job
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, ha, ha I never knew this was about ghost hunting and good deeds in one story until the last paragraph: "Congratulations to the Class of 2021. You have completed your master's class in Ghost Haunting and Helping. I can't wait to see what Halloween brings for you.""Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Ha, ha, ha I never knew this was about ghost hunting and good deeds in one story until the last paragraph: "Congratulations to the Class of 2021. You have completed your master's class in Ghost Haunting and Helping. I can't wait to see what Halloween brings for you.""Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Iza, I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment on my ghost story. This particular genre is new to me but I am trying to get the hang of it. Glad you enjoyed it.
