The Winter of My Heart
A Pantoum for the Pic This Challenge15 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
I like this pantoum. In some of them I find the repeating lines to be an irritation but not this one. I picture a widow walking that lonely widow's walk watching the sea and grieving for her sea captain husband that she really felt would never return. It would natural for her to repeat the lines of grief. It is a moving poem
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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I like this pantoum. In some of them I find the repeating lines to be an irritation but not this one. I picture a widow walking that lonely widow's walk watching the sea and grieving for her sea captain husband that she really felt would never return. It would natural for her to repeat the lines of grief. It is a moving poem
Comment Written 17-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thank you! I live in New England near Salem, Massachusetts. The historic building I worked in had a widow's walk on the rooftop - house was built by Joshua Ward, a rich sea merchant, in the 1700's. The room I worked in was where George Washington spent the night when he visited the city in 1789. I did write this poem with the sailors' wives in mind. I appreciate your insightful review! And I appreciate very much the generous rating!
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How interesting that you worked in such a place. I've visited that area. It has so much intriguing history.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The reader will be drawn in with why the other did not return. Was it because of death on the high seas. The image of the widow-to-be walking, looking out toward sea, possibly with an impending storm. As they stand up on the "widows' walk" at the top of a house. Or...maybe the other did not return because they found someone or a purpose elsewhere. The reader is invited to project upon why the other did not return. Well planned.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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The reader will be drawn in with why the other did not return. Was it because of death on the high seas. The image of the widow-to-be walking, looking out toward sea, possibly with an impending storm. As they stand up on the "widows' walk" at the top of a house. Or...maybe the other did not return because they found someone or a purpose elsewhere. The reader is invited to project upon why the other did not return. Well planned.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thank you for reading and sharing your insightful comments! ALways happy to get feedback from experienced writers.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
June,
The pantoum was a great choice to use for your interpretation of the image. You painted a seriously gloomy picture to fit the mood of the image. Great job with your word choices. Your lines repeat in all instances well--never shouting 'I'm a repeat.' Your rhymes work well, too.
This is the opposite of my view--it's great that we all share our own interpretation in this club.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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June,
The pantoum was a great choice to use for your interpretation of the image. You painted a seriously gloomy picture to fit the mood of the image. Great job with your word choices. Your lines repeat in all instances well--never shouting 'I'm a repeat.' Your rhymes work well, too.
This is the opposite of my view--it's great that we all share our own interpretation in this club.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for taking the tie to read and share your thoughts. It's always amazing how many different ways we can interpret a piece of artwork.
Comment from robyn corum
June,
What a super entry for the Pix This offering this time. I don't think I've ever tried a Pantoum before - they definitely look challenging -- but somehow, you managed to make it look rather easy?
This piece was filled with emotion and pathos, lost love and sadness - and yet, somehow, I still felt a small measure of hope at the end. Was that just me? I mean, he left in a boat - so MAYBE he can come back. Of course, I'm ever the optimist. --sigh--
I really enjoyed this - and you may have tempted me to try one of these. (You've inspired me!) Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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June,
What a super entry for the Pix This offering this time. I don't think I've ever tried a Pantoum before - they definitely look challenging -- but somehow, you managed to make it look rather easy?
This piece was filled with emotion and pathos, lost love and sadness - and yet, somehow, I still felt a small measure of hope at the end. Was that just me? I mean, he left in a boat - so MAYBE he can come back. Of course, I'm ever the optimist. --sigh--
I really enjoyed this - and you may have tempted me to try one of these. (You've inspired me!) Thanks so much!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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You really ought to gibe the pantoum a try! Once you get started, it kind of evolves on its own. Glad you enjoyed this piece - I did try to end with a bit of hope.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I love the pantoum and never think to write one.
You did a wonderful job repeating your lines and
keeping the message alive. Well done my friend.
Nancy:)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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I love the pantoum and never think to write one.
You did a wonderful job repeating your lines and
keeping the message alive. Well done my friend.
Nancy:)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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You really ought to gibe the pantoum a try! Once you get started, it kind of evolves on its own. Glad you enjoyed this piece
Comment from Debra White
Hello June :)
I really enjoyed your interpretation of the artwork.
The pantoum form is perfect for your theme as the repeat lines enhance the wistfulness of the speaker.
Beautifully done.
Best wishes, Debra
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Hello June :)
I really enjoyed your interpretation of the artwork.
The pantoum form is perfect for your theme as the repeat lines enhance the wistfulness of the speaker.
Beautifully done.
Best wishes, Debra
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this pantoum. I appreciate the positive feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A sad reflection of loss and the reliving of the trauma in mourning here, a well formed pantoum June, our hearts never forget our loved ones,much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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A sad reflection of loss and the reliving of the trauma in mourning here, a well formed pantoum June, our hearts never forget our loved ones,much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this pantoum. I appreciate the positive feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from royowen
The pantoum is a very clever poem, if done well, one will suspect some repetition is going on, but that's as far as it goes. But you've certainly done this very well indeed, beautifully done June, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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The pantoum is a very clever poem, if done well, one will suspect some repetition is going on, but that's as far as it goes. But you've certainly done this very well indeed, beautifully done June, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this pantoum. I appreciate the positive feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Most welcome
Comment from Aussie
Thank you for explaining the format of pantoum. The photo clearly reflects the mood of the subject. I hope this isn't a real happening to you? Many men went down to the sea and boarded ships, never to return to their loving families. Well done friend K xx
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for explaining the format of pantoum. The photo clearly reflects the mood of the subject. I hope this isn't a real happening to you? Many men went down to the sea and boarded ships, never to return to their loving families. Well done friend K xx
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this pantoum. I appreciate the positive feedback. Glad you enjoyed it. It's not biographical. Just musing how it would feel...
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The last stanza is so sad but so beautiful you chose a very original expression to express the longing of the heart - grey within my heart: "I knew your boat would not return
Through all the years we've been apart
For you my soul will always yearn
I feel the grey within my heart" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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The last stanza is so sad but so beautiful you chose a very original expression to express the longing of the heart - grey within my heart: "I knew your boat would not return
Through all the years we've been apart
For you my soul will always yearn
I feel the grey within my heart" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this pantoum. I appreciate the positive feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.
