Daylight
Waking thoughts.45 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant--stunnng and fresh imagery--elegant alliteration in D--as fine a tanka as I've ever seen. Extra credit for using title lines to advantage rather than repeating lines of poem!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Brilliant--stunnng and fresh imagery--elegant alliteration in D--as fine a tanka as I've ever seen. Extra credit for using title lines to advantage rather than repeating lines of poem!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the deloightful review.
Comment from AnnaLinda
Hi amada,
Your tanka form appears to be in good order and your entry offers nice alliteration and imagery.
I appreciated your notes. I wake up in the early morning almost everyday and experience similar phenomenon.
Radiant dawning indeed.
Best wishes in the contest,
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Hi amada,
Your tanka form appears to be in good order and your entry offers nice alliteration and imagery.
I appreciated your notes. I wake up in the early morning almost everyday and experience similar phenomenon.
Radiant dawning indeed.
Best wishes in the contest,
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thank you, AnnaLind; your comments are lovely.
Comment from lyenochka
This is so lovely! I love that your the window is "drowsy" and that this "moonbeam leap" brought a welcome, fresh light into the dark bends in the house as well as in the spirit. Wish I still had a six for you.
One minor thing that I've been told that you might consider is to avoid using the same word twice in such a small poem. But I liked your adjective "fresh" here.
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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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This is so lovely! I love that your the window is "drowsy" and that this "moonbeam leap" brought a welcome, fresh light into the dark bends in the house as well as in the spirit. Wish I still had a six for you.
One minor thing that I've been told that you might consider is to avoid using the same word twice in such a small poem. But I liked your adjective "fresh" here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thank you, dear friend. I love your comments.
Comment from Mastery
That had to be quite an experience, Nancy. Have you figured out what it was or what you think it might have been yet? You certainly have done a good job of coloring the image with your text here, my friend. Bless you. Bob
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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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That had to be quite an experience, Nancy. Have you figured out what it was or what you think it might have been yet? You certainly have done a good job of coloring the image with your text here, my friend. Bless you. Bob
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Hi dear friend. I was dry for some time; waking up at dawn was a sutil inspiration to write about waking up early! Ah...
Comment from rama devi
I love this! Captures the moment poetically,m and what delightful alliteraiton to read aloud, the D, L, R, F, S and B sounds. Yum! The Aha of the beam translates through your poem. Well done! Favorite lines:
radiant dawning
darts through my drowsy window
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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I love this! Captures the moment poetically,m and what delightful alliteraiton to read aloud, the D, L, R, F, S and B sounds. Yum! The Aha of the beam translates through your poem. Well done! Favorite lines:
radiant dawning
darts through my drowsy window
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your high rating, and your hugs, dear friend.
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xxoo
