Daylight
Waking thoughts.45 total reviews
Comment from Patty Palmer
After a long stormy night, feeling blue when awakening, dawn seems just an extension of the previous night. But with the bright light shining special just for you turns the day into something worth looking forward too.
Nice job!
Patty
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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After a long stormy night, feeling blue when awakening, dawn seems just an extension of the previous night. But with the bright light shining special just for you turns the day into something worth looking forward too.
Nice job!
Patty
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your review,Patty.
Comment from Irish Rain
Well this is just lovely.
I'm sure not an expert on tanka,
but I find the words here quite beautiful,
and I wish you all the best!
Blessings...
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Well this is just lovely.
I'm sure not an expert on tanka,
but I find the words here quite beautiful,
and I wish you all the best!
Blessings...
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you for your lovely comments.
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Have a nice week!!
Comment from Susan Larson
The morning light every day always brings with it hope for a new start. This is a beautiful poem with a beautiful picture. I like that you followed through with your promise to yourself to write about this.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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The morning light every day always brings with it hope for a new start. This is a beautiful poem with a beautiful picture. I like that you followed through with your promise to yourself to write about this.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Susan.
Comment from karenina
Nicely presented Tanka! Nothing like dawn to remind us we are blessed with new beginnings regardless of the doubts or errors we may have had in the night. Faith is renewed every day with the sun...and with the Son!--Karenina
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Nicely presented Tanka! Nothing like dawn to remind us we are blessed with new beginnings regardless of the doubts or errors we may have had in the night. Faith is renewed every day with the sun...and with the Son!--Karenina
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Oh how nice your words, dear Karenina.
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How nice your tanka, dear amada!--Karenina
Comment from robyn corum
Amada,
I've seen a couple other entries for this contest so far, and so far I like yours best. --wink-- Don't tell anyone I said that, though. hahaha
I love the visual you are offering us -- isn't it amazing what one single moment of nature - of light - of hope can do for you? haha Crazy stuff. The last line seems a little ... weak for me. But I imagine others will be happy with it.
Most of the time in true tanka, the first two lines speak to a moment in nature - and those last two lines turn inward, thoughtful, retrospectful. How did that moment speak to you? You were headed in that direction - then veered away again. I'd love to see you follow that more. Just a thought. Thanks!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Amada,
I've seen a couple other entries for this contest so far, and so far I like yours best. --wink-- Don't tell anyone I said that, though. hahaha
I love the visual you are offering us -- isn't it amazing what one single moment of nature - of light - of hope can do for you? haha Crazy stuff. The last line seems a little ... weak for me. But I imagine others will be happy with it.
Most of the time in true tanka, the first two lines speak to a moment in nature - and those last two lines turn inward, thoughtful, retrospectful. How did that moment speak to you? You were headed in that direction - then veered away again. I'd love to see you follow that more. Just a thought. Thanks!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Ha, ha, dear Robin...I think you know what you mean...but syllable count are in my ay. But, I will give it a try!
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you said syllable counts are in your 'ay'. Help?
I have complete faith in you. If you have questions, I'm right here. Thanks!
Comment from mermaids
You have a delicious use of words that captures a morning feeling. I like the use of the letter "D", it gives a strong steady beat to your poem. Your words creates feelings and "along with its moonbeam leap" is a fitting last line.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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You have a delicious use of words that captures a morning feeling. I like the use of the letter "D", it gives a strong steady beat to your poem. Your words creates feelings and "along with its moonbeam leap" is a fitting last line.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Hi Mermaids, thank you for letting me know what do you especially like in this Tanka.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image, presentation,
and interesting notes, amada.
-The syllable count is good,
along with the topic.
-The opening lines set the
mood and scene.
-I like the pivot line very
much because it is creative.
-Very good use of 'bend' and
'leap' to conclude the tanka
and reveal the light coming through.
-A very good entry; good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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-Nice image, presentation,
and interesting notes, amada.
-The syllable count is good,
along with the topic.
-The opening lines set the
mood and scene.
-I like the pivot line very
much because it is creative.
-Very good use of 'bend' and
'leap' to conclude the tanka
and reveal the light coming through.
-A very good entry; good luck.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Hi Pam, it is so nice to read your review evaluating the merits of this Tanka. i feel blessed.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear amada, what beautiful images you have painted with your words. One right after the other. And to have them captured in the photo that you posted, made this poem an audio-visual delight.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Dear amada, what beautiful images you have painted with your words. One right after the other. And to have them captured in the photo that you posted, made this poem an audio-visual delight.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Suzanne for your great review. Blessings to you.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a very well done Tanka. Great Alliteration and content. I love your lines > radiant dawning and darts through my drowsy window. I see you used'fresh' here twice and that should be avoided. How about, lingering light. Just replacing one of the words is a quick fix. Well done, Amada. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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This is a very well done Tanka. Great Alliteration and content. I love your lines > radiant dawning and darts through my drowsy window. I see you used'fresh' here twice and that should be avoided. How about, lingering light. Just replacing one of the words is a quick fix. Well done, Amada. Nancy:)
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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You know, Nancy, now when I feel sad, or depressed I force myself to remember that light. It's now like a prayer.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear amada! I absolutely adore your imagery. I love the last line.
This should do very well.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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This is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear amada! I absolutely adore your imagery. I love the last line.
This should do very well.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Rebekka x.
