A Leap in Belief
Help may come from an unexpected source34 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. Kean
This is an admirable short story. You have used dialogue well to move things along. Excellent.
Potential SPAG?
her partners, somewhat pale face > her partner's somewhat pale face
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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This is an admirable short story. You have used dialogue well to move things along. Excellent.
Potential SPAG?
her partners, somewhat pale face > her partner's somewhat pale face
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thanks, got that typo.
Comment from Miranda Langston
wow. not gonna lie, i have goosebumps after reading this. it's easy to see why this won the contest and why it achieved all-time-best status. powerful story. great job
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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wow. not gonna lie, i have goosebumps after reading this. it's easy to see why this won the contest and why it achieved all-time-best status. powerful story. great job
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Miranda. Much appreciated.
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
This is a well done story that deserves the recognition that it got. The dialogue is especially well done and realistic. It is a ghost story, for sure, but it is also a well done handling of the topic of suicide.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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This is a well done story that deserves the recognition that it got. The dialogue is especially well done and realistic. It is a ghost story, for sure, but it is also a well done handling of the topic of suicide.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thanks, Nancy. Much appreciated
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:-)
Comment from estory
I thought you did a super job with this little story. I loved the opening; you grabbed the reader's attention right away with the scene of the young woman preparing to jump. Then this mysterious ghost or angel of Gerald shows up and I thought the dialogue between them was realistic and fraught with emotion. The heartache of the young woman really comes through here, along with Gerald's almost desperate compassion. Then you ended it with this explanation between the two cops that makes the hair stand up on your back. An exceptional story. estory
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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I thought you did a super job with this little story. I loved the opening; you grabbed the reader's attention right away with the scene of the young woman preparing to jump. Then this mysterious ghost or angel of Gerald shows up and I thought the dialogue between them was realistic and fraught with emotion. The heartache of the young woman really comes through here, along with Gerald's almost desperate compassion. Then you ended it with this explanation between the two cops that makes the hair stand up on your back. An exceptional story. estory
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much estory. A review like this is very rewarding. I poured heart and soul into this little story, and you got it. Thank you again.
Comment from nomi338
This story just gave me goosebumps. Angelic interventions are possible, I believe they occur all the time. If there is something you are uniquely qualified to do, you may find yourself rescued from what might on the surface to be an impossible situation. I have been rescued from possible disasters on more than one occasion, that is why I am doing my best to do good with the chance that I have been given. This wonderful story is I believe, a prime example of that type of thing.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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This story just gave me goosebumps. Angelic interventions are possible, I believe they occur all the time. If there is something you are uniquely qualified to do, you may find yourself rescued from what might on the surface to be an impossible situation. I have been rescued from possible disasters on more than one occasion, that is why I am doing my best to do good with the chance that I have been given. This wonderful story is I believe, a prime example of that type of thing.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thanks nomi338. And thank you for the 6 stars. I've written 3 ghost stories now that are similar to The Leap. All about a ghost with a strong reason to come back. I want to believe in it. Its just too real.
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I personally believe that instead of ghostly interventions, I believe that the interventions that help and rescue are via angels..
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Gerald was certainly an angel.
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My point exactly. That girls had something to accomplish no doubt.
Comment from Kooky Clown
I was going to give this a five star rating but then on reading it through again I thought it was so good hence the Six. I used to volunteer as a Samaritan many years ago and this bought bake many memories, of some of the people I spoke to. I thought it was well written and an enjoyable read. Kooky
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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I was going to give this a five star rating but then on reading it through again I thought it was so good hence the Six. I used to volunteer as a Samaritan many years ago and this bought bake many memories, of some of the people I spoke to. I thought it was well written and an enjoyable read. Kooky
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Wow, thanks for the stars Kooky. So glad you saw it as a good reminder.
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Wow, thanks for the stars Kooky. So glad you saw it as a good reminder.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Brad Bennett,
Nice piece of General Fiction having captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and depicting the Ghost Story in an impressive way.
Picture complements the story.
Interesting, Indeed! That's why "Contest Winner!" CONGRATULATIONS!!
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Hello Brad Bennett,
Nice piece of General Fiction having captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and depicting the Ghost Story in an impressive way.
Picture complements the story.
Interesting, Indeed! That's why "Contest Winner!" CONGRATULATIONS!!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank You! RPSaxena. You've made my day. This rating will give me an all time best. Much appreciated.
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Thank You! RPSaxena. You've made my day. This rating will give me an all time best. Much appreciated.
Comment from oliver818
This is a great story, I really enjoyed reading it. It flows well and the ghost is really a fascinating and living character you did a great job of bringing to life. Thanks for sharing this and congratulations on winning the competition
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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This is a great story, I really enjoyed reading it. It flows well and the ghost is really a fascinating and living character you did a great job of bringing to life. Thanks for sharing this and congratulations on winning the competition
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you Oliver. I've had good luck with this story. My wife says I'm becoming a ghost writer. :>)
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Thank you Oliver. I've had good luck with this story. My wife says I'm becoming a ghost writer. :>)
Comment from Michele Harber
This is a very interesting story. I assumed, since this was an entry in a ghost story contest, that Gerald was a ghost but, to your credit, there's nothing in the dialogue to give that away. The dialogue is natural and believable, and the references to Mindy's anguish, tears and uncontrollable sobbing truly make you feel for her and want her to be saved. I appreciate that you wrote a ghost story without including the usual ghost story stereotypes.
Congratulations on winning the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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This is a very interesting story. I assumed, since this was an entry in a ghost story contest, that Gerald was a ghost but, to your credit, there's nothing in the dialogue to give that away. The dialogue is natural and believable, and the references to Mindy's anguish, tears and uncontrollable sobbing truly make you feel for her and want her to be saved. I appreciate that you wrote a ghost story without including the usual ghost story stereotypes.
Congratulations on winning the contest.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you Michele, I couldn't remove the ghost designation, but It hasn't seemed to matter. Once my reader is into the story its put aside. I think ghost's are just people who regret a tragic life mistake?they come back for atonement.
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Thank you Michele, I couldn't remove the ghost designation, but It hasn't seemed to matter. Once my reader is into the story its put aside. I think ghost's are just people who regret a tragic life mistake?they come back for atonement.
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No, the "ghost" designation didn't matter at all. You created a kind, thoughtful character who just happened to have died years before.
I haven't quite made up my mind about ghosts yet, but my inclination is that they're people with unfinished business (good or bad) they need to complete before they can rest.
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Good reply Michele. I also believe there are bad ghosts. But even they have a good reason to return. In my portfolio are two other ghost stories that touch on that.
-Flight to Fairbanks
-The Boy in the Attic
The Boy in the Attic is close to a real story in my early life.
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Thank you. I'm going to be running out shortly, but I'll be happy to read your other stories when I get home. I'm relieved to say I have no personal ghost stories of my own to contribute. (I've often stated my religion as "devout coward.")
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, you did a fantastic job! I cannot find anything wrong with this ghost story! If you ask me, I wouldn't change a thing! I loved the title and the picture was erie as if it were really happening in real life! Gerald and Joey were from eighteen years ago what a phenomenon that is hard to understand! I am so glad Mindy was safe and didn't die as the late Joey did!
His father lost his son, and the ghost of Gerald came back to save Mindy from drowning the same way Joey did so many years ago.
Have a wonderful week, Brad, I do not know you but I would like to!
Take good care of yourself, my newfound friend!
Jesse
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Wow, you did a fantastic job! I cannot find anything wrong with this ghost story! If you ask me, I wouldn't change a thing! I loved the title and the picture was erie as if it were really happening in real life! Gerald and Joey were from eighteen years ago what a phenomenon that is hard to understand! I am so glad Mindy was safe and didn't die as the late Joey did!
His father lost his son, and the ghost of Gerald came back to save Mindy from drowning the same way Joey did so many years ago.
Have a wonderful week, Brad, I do not know you but I would like to!
Take good care of yourself, my newfound friend!
Jesse
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Thanks, Jesse. Not much to know about me, I retired as a creative director at an ad agency and took up my dream of writing. I guess selling beer and ice cream gave me a good outlook on what works. Always end on a smile?life is tough enough as it is.