sleepy valentine
ode to single moms.4 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
I love this endearing write. Children are wholehearted in displaying love. The mother knows that she's adored no matter what.
Happy Valentine's and good luck in this delightful contest that shows the many faces of love.
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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I love this endearing write. Children are wholehearted in displaying love. The mother knows that she's adored no matter what.
Happy Valentine's and good luck in this delightful contest that shows the many faces of love.
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thanks for the insightful review. One reviewer thought that it was her husband, not young son, and found it strange that she carried him upstairs. Wish you a lovely Valentines day, cheers, j
Comment from muffinmama
How sweet, and so much more precious than expensive chocolates! There is nothing like a child's love.
The scene is so easy to picture. Love this poem. It makes me feel all "Awww"
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021
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How sweet, and so much more precious than expensive chocolates! There is nothing like a child's love.
The scene is so easy to picture. Love this poem. It makes me feel all "Awww"
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021
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Thanks for the insightful review, have a nice Valentines day, j
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
I think this is an adorable poem about a guy who tried his best to make the night romantic, but just couldn't stay awake. I totally get that, for sure. hahaha
The only line I couldn't get behind was the last one. It kinda makes him sound a little weak and tiny...? I am offering a small suggestion for your consideration - but you are welcome to hate it. *smile*
carry him to bed.
--> help him off to bed
Thanks a bunch!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021
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Dear Mystery Writer,
I think this is an adorable poem about a guy who tried his best to make the night romantic, but just couldn't stay awake. I totally get that, for sure. hahaha
The only line I couldn't get behind was the last one. It kinda makes him sound a little weak and tiny...? I am offering a small suggestion for your consideration - but you are welcome to hate it. *smile*
carry him to bed.
--> help him off to bed
Thanks a bunch!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021
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Thanks for the review robyn. It is a single mom working late and her young son made her the cake and flowers.
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Hmmm... I don't think that's made clear enough.
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I mention something in the author notes, but you might be right, cheers, j
Comment from phill doran
Hello writer
I like this. Very, and appropriately, 'sweet'. I am not too sure if poetry will be accepted in a general fiction prompt, but regardless of your contest, the piece is fine.
I had some difficulty with "...aromal..." It may well be the right word, but it does not read well (for me). I tripped up on it. If you are still thinking about it, "...fragrant..." ran better for me.
I wish you well with your writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021
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Hello writer
I like this. Very, and appropriately, 'sweet'. I am not too sure if poetry will be accepted in a general fiction prompt, but regardless of your contest, the piece is fine.
I had some difficulty with "...aromal..." It may well be the right word, but it does not read well (for me). I tripped up on it. If you are still thinking about it, "...fragrant..." ran better for me.
I wish you well with your writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 13-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2021
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Cheers, thanks for review and advice, I did have fragrant but figured I'd get fancy.. Haha
Hope you have a valentine ~ cheers, j
