Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Exceptional

A brilliant job of writing, my friend. With your summaries and information inclusion, I was able to easily follow the plot. Great species and character development. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Congratulations on your success,

Rhonda

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021

Thank you, Rhonda :)

So thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. Your kind words and awesome review just made my day! This has been such fun to create. Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come!
Hope to hear from you again!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

The Curse/A Novel of the Breedline series
A chapter in the book THE CURSE
Body Snatchers
scongrove This chapter in you The Curse the Body Snatchers
I must say you have a very vivid imagination to be able to write and make me want to keep on reading.
Gert

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021

Thank you, Gert :)

Yes my friend, my imagination is quite vivid. LOL! Everyone always wonders how I can come up with such stories. But I've always been a daydreamer since a child. It's something I love to do.

Thanks again for your encouraging review!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from fm wright

Exceptional

I truly like the solution you presented in regards to Veronica, The ending words by The Shadow have me in absolute suspense and fear for Carrie and Joseph. Keep up the wonderful writing.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021

Thank you, Faye :)

So glad you enjoyed this one. I was going to kill Veronica and give her a painful death, but another friend of mine here persuaded me to take this to another level and be kind. I'm happy you approve of how I handled this. There is always good in the darkness. :)

Big hugs!
Shana :)

reply by fm wright on 11-Feb-2021

I'm glad your friend suggested that. I think it gives more options, not only involving Veronica, but for Carrie and Joseph, as well.

reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021

Thank you my friend :)

reply by fm wright on 12-Feb-2021

You'e welcome,my friend.:))

Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

The poor guy caught up in a life he doesn't want with no way to escape. I can't even imagine what the shadow will do now he's disobeyed. I don't see this turning out well for Joseph probably not Carrie either. Your chapter is very well-written very interesting, believable from start to finish. I was glued to the page, the entire time. You made me have empathy for the poor lad more so than before. Like always, I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021

Thanks so much, Mistydawn :)

I do feel sorry for Joseph too. Poor guy has had a rough go in life. But I think things will be tough for him for a while, although there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe Carrie will lead him to an escape from his evil possession.

Thanks again! I'm always happy to hear from you.

Big hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

This is brilliant and so fixes the dilemma of the shadow being in control, the very act of love that Joseph feels for Carrie has overturned the the influence the darkness of the shadow has over him. There's a definite shift in his nature, and the power of love overcomes all evil, as God's influence over us does. Can the covenant help him? I think they can! Well done, great episode Shana, blessings Roy
Suggestion Until his knuckles (shown) white, turned?

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021

Thanks Roy :)

I just want you to know that you inspired me to write this chapter. I was wanting to kill off Veronica. But after your feedback, I decided to change it and go towards the light. Thank you for always inspiring me. You bring good into everything. And thanks for your great advise! :)

Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 09-Feb-2021

Don?t worry, your heart is toward goodness, just needs support. Bless you. Well done

Comment from LeftHandedScribe

Excellent

This is just plain good writing! Imaginative. Detailed. Funny! This passage stood out: Just as his anger was getting away from him, the Shadow's voice whispered into his subconscious, "Look at me, Joseph." So much tension! Great work!

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021

Thanks so much, LeftHandedScribe :)

Your feedback just made my day! I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. This is one of the reasons why I continue to writer on this site. I get such great feedback and advise.

Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from Hannah Baller

Good

Hey! I liked this, just a few errors here n there:

1st para: tented - tinted.
Colon ':' where a fullstop needs to be.
".... And then, painful memories flashed before his eyes like random images in a photobook: He thought of..." - the colon here needs to be a fullstop, or the sentence is too long.

I do like the idea of The Shadow, the inner evil. It's a great idea and I'd love to see what else is in store!

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021

Thanks so much, Hannah :)

Glad you enjoyed the chapter. And thanks for the helpful tips. Always a learning process for me. I will definitely make the changes. This is one of the reasons why I love FanStory.

Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

These two sentences grabbed my attention: " "I can force you, Joseph. My blood courses through your veins."

"So. Does. Mine," Joseph said through gritted teeth." Our hero is a dual, Mr. Shadow being his Evil side kick. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021

Thanks so much, Iza :)

Glad to hear from you again! This one was fun to write. I do enjoy creating new villains for my Breedline adventures. The Shadow is definitely a evil character who keeps Joseph on his toes.
Hope to hear from you again!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from greyson ernst

Excellent

i love this so very very much i love it this is the first chapter i have read from this book i will read backwards but as always keep writing and stay safe have a good day

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021

Thank you, Greyson :)

So thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. It was really fun to create. My Shadow character has been a blast to write about. I love to create new villains for my Breedline adventures. Hope to hear from again!

Sincerely,
Shana :)