Jealous Suspicion
The evils of uncontrolled jealousy51 total reviews
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
Great poem about relationship jealousy! "Love is a treasure that I would hate to lose./The path I maneuver is mine alone to choose." So true, but not always easy! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Great poem about relationship jealousy! "Love is a treasure that I would hate to lose./The path I maneuver is mine alone to choose." So true, but not always easy! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your great comments.
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
Your poem is about a human emotion that can ruin any relationship, and all good relationships are built on trust. I think everyone has experienced a twinge of jealousy now and then, but you have made a great statement in your poem that it must be defeated. These two lines are very strong and create a solid reason for overcoming suspicion and jealousy:
Love is a treasure that I would hate to lose.
The path I maneuver is mine alone to choose.
Your poem is well-constructed and flows well, also.
Thank you for sharing!
Susan
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Your poem is about a human emotion that can ruin any relationship, and all good relationships are built on trust. I think everyone has experienced a twinge of jealousy now and then, but you have made a great statement in your poem that it must be defeated. These two lines are very strong and create a solid reason for overcoming suspicion and jealousy:
Love is a treasure that I would hate to lose.
The path I maneuver is mine alone to choose.
Your poem is well-constructed and flows well, also.
Thank you for sharing!
Susan
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Hello Susan. I thank you so much for your fine and supportive comments.
Comment from Pantygynt
Which is it worse to be, jealous or taken for a sucker? They do say that the husband/wife is the last to know when marital infidelity is going on, so I imagine most people prefer being taken for a sucker.
'Othello' is the classic story of jealousy and all stirred up from nothing by that nasty Iago!
On a technical poetic note. You should really try to avoid using the verb 'to do' as an auxiliary verb as you are doing in your second line. It serves no purpose but to 'force' the metre. There is always a better option where the word inserted will add meaning as well as rendering the metre correct. How about 'When we're apart, my mind will wonder'?
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Which is it worse to be, jealous or taken for a sucker? They do say that the husband/wife is the last to know when marital infidelity is going on, so I imagine most people prefer being taken for a sucker.
'Othello' is the classic story of jealousy and all stirred up from nothing by that nasty Iago!
On a technical poetic note. You should really try to avoid using the verb 'to do' as an auxiliary verb as you are doing in your second line. It serves no purpose but to 'force' the metre. There is always a better option where the word inserted will add meaning as well as rendering the metre correct. How about 'When we're apart, my mind will wonder'?
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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As I totally respect your artistic integrity, I will without question or delay, take your fine suggestion and apply it. Thank you for your review comments and suggestions.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I enjoyed your poem. It is an excellent poem that tells the truth about the poison of jealousy. The poem tells of the struggle to rid a relationship of suspicion. You are right in that jealousy can ruin a relationship.
Mary
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed your poem. It is an excellent poem that tells the truth about the poison of jealousy. The poem tells of the struggle to rid a relationship of suspicion. You are right in that jealousy can ruin a relationship.
Mary
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you Mary, I appreciate your wonderful comments.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Jealousy is a terrible emotion that can destroy lives if not kept under control. For both parties, it arises from a lack of self-confidence. If only I can analyse the source, one can overcome this utterly negative feeling. A little jealousy should be OK since it may mean he/she really loves you. I enjoyed reading your well-written poem. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Jealousy is a terrible emotion that can destroy lives if not kept under control. For both parties, it arises from a lack of self-confidence. If only I can analyse the source, one can overcome this utterly negative feeling. A little jealousy should be OK since it may mean he/she really loves you. I enjoyed reading your well-written poem. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you, I find your observations to be in perfect harmony with my thoughts, and therefore very much welcome.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, you are absolutely right in that unfounded jealousy can destroy what would have been a healthy relationship. Perhaps based on insecurity. You have written a fine poem, well expressed thoughts.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Yes, you are absolutely right in that unfounded jealousy can destroy what would have been a healthy relationship. Perhaps based on insecurity. You have written a fine poem, well expressed thoughts.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you Wendy. Your words are both supportive and encouraging.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Jealousy can destroy trust and ruins a loving relationship.
what you say in the poem is very true.
The poem rhymes well. You certainly deserves the credit.
The picture is a good choice.
Happy writing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Jealousy can destroy trust and ruins a loving relationship.
what you say in the poem is very true.
The poem rhymes well. You certainly deserves the credit.
The picture is a good choice.
Happy writing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you. I appreciate your fine comments.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Jealousy can destroy trust and ruins a loving relationship.
what you say in the poem is very true.
The poem rhymes well. You certainly deserves the credit.
The picture is a good choice.
Happy writing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Jealousy can destroy trust and ruins a loving relationship.
what you say in the poem is very true.
The poem rhymes well. You certainly deserves the credit.
The picture is a good choice.
Happy writing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you again, You can review my work as often as you choose and I will appreciate it each time.
Comment from Sharon Nolen
Very good poem. Excellent message. A nice flow.
Some of the sentence structure does interfere with the rhythm.
I like the way you concluded the poem, with the understanding that you needed to get rid of jealous thoughts. That was really good.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Very good poem. Excellent message. A nice flow.
Some of the sentence structure does interfere with the rhythm.
I like the way you concluded the poem, with the understanding that you needed to get rid of jealous thoughts. That was really good.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you Sharon. Quite obviously, I am a work, hopefully in progress, and my learning is still ongoing.
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All of us are still learning. You are doing quite well. I plan to look up your book, I gave you hot soup, for possible purchase to support you. Best regards for your future publications.
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Thank you. I truly appreciate your support.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Wise message--good work at conveying your doubts and trying to dispell them and thus overcome your jealousy--kudos for putting a poignant story to rhyme.
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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Wise message--good work at conveying your doubts and trying to dispell them and thus overcome your jealousy--kudos for putting a poignant story to rhyme.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you, I failed to disclose that this is a work of fiction.
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I didn't assume it was fact--when I write "YOU" it is shorthand for "the narrator"! You don't need to specify for poetry.
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Got it. Again, I thank you.
