Reviews from

Another Life

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Crista's Friend"
American Isekai

7 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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It is fun how you have developed another character who is not a warrior. It is nice that Crista is developing a nice lively friendship. The ending has a great juxtaposition: " as his dimming vision focused on a small garden spider upon the tree." The ending also leaves the reader who is going to be in danger and abducted and by whom. Onto the next chapter

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2021

Comment from judiverse
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Sorry, but the girl in the illustration doesn't look a thing like Crista. Poor Crista is missing Paul. She doesn't seem have enough resources to manage on her own. Pam and Crista have quite a chat. Pam admires Crista's cutting edge tight, so she may soon have some of her own. Pam notes that Raymond became aroused when he saw her naked taking a bath. She thought it was because of her, but I think he probably would have reacted the same way with any attractive young girl. Oh, oh! It looks like trouble's coming in the form of a spider. Hope the girls will be safe. judi

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
    Thank you very much. You're the second person, to think the spider got the guard and is after the girls. Maybe, I didn't write the last few paragraphs right. Spiders don't talk.

    I will have to look at that again.
reply by judiverse on 26-Jan-2021
    YOu're welcome. That would make a good story if it was the spider. judi
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Excellent
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Dear lancelllot, All in one single chapter you have taken me from wondering about this strange world that all these characters inhabit, and then scare me to death with knowing the spiders were within the walls of the castle. I fear that in the next chapter we will learn that Crista and Pam have been taken by the spider to feed her children.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
    Thank you very much.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
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I read with interest although I couldn't relate to it. But I wanted to read your story and learn about writing as I am still wet behind years. But I enjoyed it. The characters appear to have their own rules and live in a parallel universe. Very imaginative. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
    Thank you very much
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Lance, there is some incredibly fine writing here, all quite authentic and sensually pleasing, not in a sexual way. (Like Leonard Cohen said, "The wretched beast is dead.") But pleasing to the senses, like poetry. I particularly enjoyed the scene with the strangulation of the guard and the "smile beneath the many red eyes of the spider." You've earned a sixer with this one!

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
    Thank you very much
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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I will read more. This book is well written and better than many books that are posted here. This chapter reminded me of Twilight when they were discussing how long they can be at it.

The picture looks very cute, too.

I will read the next chapter when it comes out. I might try to read some previous ones.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
    Thank you very much
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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lancellot:

Oh, geez - the red eyes of the spider again! I think I would rather
deal with a den of vipers, but who am I to say? I am thinking the
spider was protecting the maidens from the potential lust of the
guard? Another good chapter.
Rdfrdmom2

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
    Thank you very much