Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Football Chapter 10 part 2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

29 total reviews 
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Good choice of image
and story to go with it, Barbara.
-We see different sides of
some of the characters and the
nature of their relationships.
-Katherine is concerned about
Gabriel, and she and Angie have
a good discussion about it.
-About the same time, while
fishing, Bill and Gabriel have
a similar conversation.
-Finally, Gabriel's mom speaks
to him, as well, and the consensus
seems to be he and Katherine
make a good pair, but the
two of them need more time
to see if that is the case.
-The two boys also have a
good conversation, and we
learn a little bit about their dad.
-I would assume that is something
you will explore a little more
as the story progresses, along
with that of Katherine and Gabriel.
-Well done!

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the generous review.
reply by Pam (respa) on 30-Jan-2021
    You are very welcome; it was well deserved.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh dear. I can see Gabriel and Katherine eventually being a couple, but they don't want parents and friends trying to 'help' them achieve it. Lol. There is obviously going to be lots of fights before that happens. And then there is Frost, he's bound to be entering the party soon. Another great chapter, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Brilliant dialog kept me enthralled--you skillfully manage the nuances of relationships, which is the hallmark of a fine writer--characters and interactions are rich and real.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So glad to be getting to your wonderful writing again. All my favourite prose folks keep me going. FS was playing up earlier but glad that is fixed. Not a spag anywhere. Good work.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a fun chapter. Nothing like parents trying to play matchmaker. I've never done that or had it done to me either. Sometimes you're better off finding your own mate. My son had a friend set him up and that seems to be working so far. I"m enjoying this story. Everyone in this town seems willing to help.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Barbara.Wilkey,
Nice piece of Fiction in continuation having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme with HOOK in the end.
The story with romantic flavor is moving forward in an interesting way.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by RPSaxena on 30-Jan-2021
    Barbara.Wilkey, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As usual, meaningful movement forward toward a relationship. Good stuff. The few glitches I found, you probably have already had pointed out to you.

Katherine walked into living room avoided eye contact with Angie. [... walked into THE living room...]

After Katherine point to a place in the closet, [... Katherine POINTED to... These appear to be only oversights, like you were in a hurry to post.]

Dang it, I like Gabriel.


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I am hoping somebody likes Gabriel, a few do not.
reply by Jay Squires on 30-Jan-2021
    What?! I like Gabriel.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Many people feel he's too pushy. But I see a soft side to him.
reply by Jay Squires on 30-Jan-2021
    Definitely a soft side. Especially since the reader is privy to what Katherine even isn't ... which is Gabriel's conversations with the other teachers. There is nothing duplicitous in his actions. He always does what he perceives is the best thing for Katherine.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That background about Gabriel as a professional football player is excellent. It really explains a lot behind him. Not much is said about his reasons for returning to coach at the high school. Being near his parents seems a good reason, though. It seems like there's a lot of match-making going on. That might be enough to put Katherine off. I'll be eager to see how school goes, now that Katherine is getting settled. Great chapter. judi

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
    More on Gabriel will be learned as we go on. Also please remember he also had a career ending knee injury. That's already been said. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 25-Jan-2021
    You're welcome. I feel like I know a lot more about why Gabriel acts the way he does. judi
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, although I could give you a six on every post, I give most of them to new writers who need the encouragement and motivation. But every now and then, I just like to give you a little of the well deserved appreciation. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Barb
You chapter in the book Football - A Novel
Football Chapter 10 part 2

I don't know what other reviewers are saying about this chapter.
I like the way your way of writing draws one to see what happens next. I'm looking froward to your next chapter to find out the match making is doing.
Gert

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. Rarely do I get a bad review, but I do get them.
reply by Gert sherwood on 24-Jan-2021
    You are so welcome Barb
    Gert