Through the Pillars of Aries
an 80-word story16 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry. You told it well. I could see everything your mentioned. I like the sci-fi nature of it. Great name for the character, too. The image is supportive. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed your contest entry. You told it well. I could see everything your mentioned. I like the sci-fi nature of it. Great name for the character, too. The image is supportive. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021
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Thanks, Jan
Comment from Mastery
Super job on this one, Bill. It is all sort of bullshit, but the writing holds up just fine. Love the name of your hero BOLT . LOL it doesn't get any better than that. Liked this too: " the synthetic humanoid had been moving on foot to the location of Alpha Base and the completion of its mission."
I'd love to know if anyone takes you seriously with this. :) Bob
ps. I just posted another Cleve chapter if you have nothing better to do, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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Super job on this one, Bill. It is all sort of bullshit, but the writing holds up just fine. Love the name of your hero BOLT . LOL it doesn't get any better than that. Liked this too: " the synthetic humanoid had been moving on foot to the location of Alpha Base and the completion of its mission."
I'd love to know if anyone takes you seriously with this. :) Bob
ps. I just posted another Cleve chapter if you have nothing better to do, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021
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This review is a bit like a doctor telling me that the surgery went well - considering. Thanks for the high marks and unvarnished comments.
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Hey, I hope I didn't offend you, Bill. I really did like this post and might have expressed that in the wrong way. sorry. Bob
Comment from Gert sherwood
Bill,
You did so good writing your 80 words flash fiction. Bill I hope there will be another chapter to read.
I will say you left me wanting to read more---
and what you should write more to compete you last lines
described as hope in the programming center of the fabricated being. Bolt smiled.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Bill,
You did so good writing your 80 words flash fiction. Bill I hope there will be another chapter to read.
I will say you left me wanting to read more---
and what you should write more to compete you last lines
described as hope in the programming center of the fabricated being. Bolt smiled.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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There is a follow-on story up now, Gert.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Word count is within range 78-82--it's 80 if the judges count the hyphenated two-hundred as a single word, 81 otherwise so you're covered either way.
Well done. Clever touch with "feeling" re robot. Are you going to have more than two parts?
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Word count is within range 78-82--it's 80 if the judges count the hyphenated two-hundred as a single word, 81 otherwise so you're covered either way.
Well done. Clever touch with "feeling" re robot. Are you going to have more than two parts?
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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If I can think of something energetic for Bolt to do, I will add more.
Comment from lyenochka
I feel like this is a great start of a sci-fi story. I like that you have a "synthetic humanoid" landing on Mars because the environment there too hostile for real humans. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I feel like this is a great start of a sci-fi story. I like that you have a "synthetic humanoid" landing on Mars because the environment there too hostile for real humans. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thanks, lyenochka.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I do not think I could write a story with only 80 words, however, I do see with an imaginative writer it can be done. You give your reader a great image of your bot and at the end you have him smile making him humanoid.
Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I do not think I could write a story with only 80 words, however, I do see with an imaginative writer it can be done. You give your reader a great image of your bot and at the end you have him smile making him humanoid.
Well done.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Mary. I will probably use him some more.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Bill, I am wondering if you have posted this bit of fantasy flash fiction to see how we would like to have a fabricated being, like Bolt, have emotions; as your next protagonist in a script or short story ?
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Dear Bill, I am wondering if you have posted this bit of fantasy flash fiction to see how we would like to have a fabricated being, like Bolt, have emotions; as your next protagonist in a script or short story ?
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I hadn?t at first, but am getting ideas about it now.
Comment from Mistydawn
I know this is flash fiction, but I think this could be a great beginning to an interesting story. Your bot, with all his emotions, almost seems real, relatable. This piece might've predicted a future event. Just about anything is possible nowadays.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I know this is flash fiction, but I think this could be a great beginning to an interesting story. Your bot, with all his emotions, almost seems real, relatable. This piece might've predicted a future event. Just about anything is possible nowadays.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thanks, MD. I might give Bolt some further adventures.
Comment from Cindy Decker
Bill,
This is a very nice 80 word story. You paint wonderful landscapes and a great story in just a few words.
Good luck in the contest Bill.
Have a nice week
Cindy
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Bill,
This is a very nice 80 word story. You paint wonderful landscapes and a great story in just a few words.
Good luck in the contest Bill.
Have a nice week
Cindy
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Cindy
Comment from nomi338
Will the first inhabitants of Mars be humanoid robots or real humans. A question that may be answered many years into the future. A bigger, much bigger question for me is, will it even matter. You just know that man will one day walk upon the surface of the planet Mars. It is guaranteed, just as our walking on the moon was.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Will the first inhabitants of Mars be humanoid robots or real humans. A question that may be answered many years into the future. A bigger, much bigger question for me is, will it even matter. You just know that man will one day walk upon the surface of the planet Mars. It is guaranteed, just as our walking on the moon was.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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There will be humans on Mars one day. I have a list of people to send.
