To Survive
I need you and you need me.3 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a meaningful poem. Your communicating with it made the difference for both of you. The reader can identify with the imagery. People don't realize plants know what's going on. I am a dowser and am very aware of energies giving life for healing. Some people from Vermont were learning this. They had a plant hooked up to something like a lie detector where they could read the reactions of the plant. One was going to CA and decided to try something. He'd think something painful about the plant. He did not say what it would be or when. The day and hour he thought of burning the plant, it went crazy on the graph. I happy for you & your plant.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2021
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This is a meaningful poem. Your communicating with it made the difference for both of you. The reader can identify with the imagery. People don't realize plants know what's going on. I am a dowser and am very aware of energies giving life for healing. Some people from Vermont were learning this. They had a plant hooked up to something like a lie detector where they could read the reactions of the plant. One was going to CA and decided to try something. He'd think something painful about the plant. He did not say what it would be or when. The day and hour he thought of burning the plant, it went crazy on the graph. I happy for you & your plant.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2021
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Thank you for this insightful review. I appreciate the the read and your time. I love plants and wish my thumb were greener.
Blessings,
Anon
Comment from Patricia Cammish
A nice conversation between your suffering self and your suffering plant, but, until I read the notes at the bottom, I didn't realise
it was supposed to be a 'Dying Houseplant.' In the picture it looks quite healthy.
I think some initial mention of the plant's state would be helpful.
Your ideas are good but would be clearer with more punctuation. Shorter sentences will give clarity and drama.
eg
There you sit COMMA (making an unheard groan.) GROANING SILENTLY? Here I am, listening COMMA (and) watching you FULL STOP (as) You do absolutely nothing but keep me company all day every day.
'Leaves COMMA give forth your oxygen FULL STOP (and) I will breathe on you the carbon dioxide that you need.'
Your reader will be able see your meaning much more clearly. I think this is a great idea.
We WILL SPACE survive. We MUST survive.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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A nice conversation between your suffering self and your suffering plant, but, until I read the notes at the bottom, I didn't realise
it was supposed to be a 'Dying Houseplant.' In the picture it looks quite healthy.
I think some initial mention of the plant's state would be helpful.
Your ideas are good but would be clearer with more punctuation. Shorter sentences will give clarity and drama.
eg
There you sit COMMA (making an unheard groan.) GROANING SILENTLY? Here I am, listening COMMA (and) watching you FULL STOP (as) You do absolutely nothing but keep me company all day every day.
'Leaves COMMA give forth your oxygen FULL STOP (and) I will breathe on you the carbon dioxide that you need.'
Your reader will be able see your meaning much more clearly. I think this is a great idea.
We WILL SPACE survive. We MUST survive.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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I am very appreciative of this helpful review. I edited after reading your insightful suggestions and hopefully made it better. It is reviewers, such as yourself, that keeps novices like me on their toes. Thank you again for your honest review.
Blessings,
anon
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You are very welcome. I always try to be helpful and constructive but you can imagine it?s not always appreciated- so thanks for your kind message. Look at your final sentence before the last line . A little tightening up would help there .
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Hi mystery writer
Yes, I really like this short story of yours. I was waiting for a little twist to come and up it popped, like a rose opening in a sun shine breeze.
Likes that it was very topical and imaginatively so.
I wish you well in the contest
Take care Pete
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Hi mystery writer
Yes, I really like this short story of yours. I was waiting for a little twist to come and up it popped, like a rose opening in a sun shine breeze.
Likes that it was very topical and imaginatively so.
I wish you well in the contest
Take care Pete
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Thank you kindly for this supportive review. The second line of your review is very poet=like and I assume that you are an excellent writer which is why I am so appreciative of your kind words.
Blessings,
Anon
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I love a bit of flattery
especially with Lady Chatterley
a bag of fully charged batteries
and her blood pulsing arteries,
on every Wednesday and Saturday.
and so say all of us, LOL
