Reviews from

Heart Crafted Poems -2021

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Walking the Strand"
Musings of an old man -2021

41 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written Spencerian sonnet about a meaningful walk along the beach holding hands and talk about life with each other. A relationship sometimes ends before it starts.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Smiling back!
Comment from Gloria ....
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is just so good, J! Your metre has improved immensely. Your classes with Jim have helped and your metre and rhyme is terrific. I thoroughly enjoyed the vibrancy of your poem moving from line to line and the mirthful couplet summed it up beautifully.

Terrific sonnet and I hope to read many more from your quarter.

Just one small typo in your author notes:

Spencerian (Spenserian) Sonnet, a sonnet in ...

Gloria

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Gloria, I can not express my gratitude enough! Being a natural free verser, as you know I have struggled with meter. Jim's sonnet class among others have been a boon of experiential activities. I am so grateful to him and FanStory for this platform to develop my writing abilities. Your six-star rating is so validating! thank you!
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a lovely lilting Spencerian Sonnet, with well-chosen words and excellent rhyme. The aura of the Strand is well perceived and delineated well in your composition. Thanks for sharing.

Ralf

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Ralf, I owe a debt of gratitude to James Bartlett (Pantygnt) for his skill and patience as a student in this classes.
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading your Spencerian Sonnet. a lovely walk on the beach with
hopes that love will bloom, but like the fickle sea rushes in, but eaves the shore empty. The imagery is lovely and the rhyme and meter excellently
crafted. Great job.
Nancy

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Nancy, thank you.
Comment from Susan X Smith
Excellent
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I like the humor of the surprise ending. At first, this read like an old-fashioned, predictable piece, but then it jumped into something more contemporary. Good job.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021
    Susan thank you!
Comment from AnnieDawn
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I think your class has created a poet of worth because this sonnet is beautifully written. I know that there are several ways to write sonnets and all of them are a bit different. This Spencerian style is smooth and is easy to read. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    Annie, thank you 🙏 ! I am so grateful for the amount I have learned in the writing class through FanStory. I am grateful for this six-star review.
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This Spenserian sonnet, Walking the Strand, has the proper formatting and finds the uniqueness in the short-lived ebb tide landscape.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    Thank you, Bill
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well am impressed with the perfect metered words here and your rhymes 'calmed' and 'bombed' made me smile, but I love near rhyme and it is a pity this relationship did not working out and you delivered the sentiments here perfectly. This is a perfectly formed sonnet and deserves a six, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    I am very humbled and honored. Thank you so much for your consistent reviews and guidance. I am getting some confidence built in this poetic arena. I am working on my first Italian sonnet now...
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 17-Jan-2021
    I shall look forward to reading more sonnets from you and awarding you more six stars in the future, love Dolly x
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 17-Jan-2021
    I shall look forward to reading more sonnets from you and awarding you more six stars in the future, love Dolly x
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 17-Jan-2021
    I shall look forward to reading more sonnets from you and awarding you more six stars in the future, love Dolly x
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

JLR,

hahahaha I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at the expense of your poor heart -but I couldn't help it. This piece was fun to read and the ending was awesome. I don't know much about this form of the sonnet - so I shall not offer ideas re: editing. Thanks so much!

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    Thanks much my friend.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a beautifully written sonnet. Carefree sweethearts view waves above the strand. Such glee comes as two souls enjoy this day. Very nicely done. Great photo selection to go with your words. I Love it.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much!