The cure
Blood17 total reviews
Comment from Allezw2
Lady IZA DELEANU:
Whee! Bloody good. Years ago, there was a TV thriller series about an ex-law man whose blood was as you described. The entire series was his based on his efforts escape from people trying to exploit his unique characteristic. It would be fun to see you expand on this theme.
I am always amazed to see ESL writers doing so well here. I might quibble a bit on the colons where they might be other types of punctuation. Some of your sentences could be edited as complete; without the comma splices joining two of what could be separate clauses.
Nicely done, though. The thesis is well presented and you presented it well.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Fantasist
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Lady IZA DELEANU:
Whee! Bloody good. Years ago, there was a TV thriller series about an ex-law man whose blood was as you described. The entire series was his based on his efforts escape from people trying to exploit his unique characteristic. It would be fun to see you expand on this theme.
I am always amazed to see ESL writers doing so well here. I might quibble a bit on the colons where they might be other types of punctuation. Some of your sentences could be edited as complete; without the comma splices joining two of what could be separate clauses.
Nicely done, though. The thesis is well presented and you presented it well.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Fantasist
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
Comment from kmoss
This is an interesting take on the It's Happening Tonight writing prompt. Too bad this isn't nonfiction. It would be wonderful if one person's blood could end it all. Thanks for sharing this imaginative piece.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2021
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This is an interesting take on the It's Happening Tonight writing prompt. Too bad this isn't nonfiction. It would be wonderful if one person's blood could end it all. Thanks for sharing this imaginative piece.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review :)Have a blessed week end:)
Comment from Veronica Grace
This is a very interesting concept with a great ending. I liked the story.
These things jumped out at me:
No matter how good I was, I was(I always ended up...) always ending up getting kicked out to the curb
You know the(the what? drill,) "father if you wish take this cup away from me"(,) or
What(should be, Why) did I have to go to the hospital"John, I am afraid that I have to take(you/me?) out of this project.
Why (were they)they were offering money
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This is a very interesting concept with a great ending. I liked the story.
These things jumped out at me:
No matter how good I was, I was(I always ended up...) always ending up getting kicked out to the curb
You know the(the what? drill,) "father if you wish take this cup away from me"(,) or
What(should be, Why) did I have to go to the hospital"John, I am afraid that I have to take(you/me?) out of this project.
Why (were they)they were offering money
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
Comment from Wendy G
Very original story, and very imaginative. It relates to the events in our times in a relevant way. It is a mix of science fiction and horror. good wishes for the contest.
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Very original story, and very imaginative. It relates to the events in our times in a relevant way. It is a mix of science fiction and horror. good wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
Comment from patcelaw
Having been a foster parent in the distant past, I would love to see a foundation set up to help these children go to college. Many of then are from broken or drug addicted homes.
Patricia
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Having been a foster parent in the distant past, I would love to see a foundation set up to help these children go to college. Many of then are from broken or drug addicted homes.
Patricia
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you, that is my wish too:)
Comment from Vanna1
Curb? For somebody else's ??? Getting not get? Interesting theme did not expect the outcome. Good realism. Like a sci-fi movie here. Might need to check for typos. Good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Curb? For somebody else's ??? Getting not get? Interesting theme did not expect the outcome. Good realism. Like a sci-fi movie here. Might need to check for typos. Good luck.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you:)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant! Eli-Lily saves the world. This may be a winner!
As I was walking thru the Valley of Shadows, I STARTED wondering [OMIT: how much I care] about my past life.
No matter how good I was, I was always ending up getting kicked TO THE CURB for somebody's else mistakes.
education IS the key
When I saw that I COULDN'T stop the bleeding,
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Brilliant! Eli-Lily saves the world. This may be a winner!
As I was walking thru the Valley of Shadows, I STARTED wondering [OMIT: how much I care] about my past life.
No matter how good I was, I was always ending up getting kicked TO THE CURB for somebody's else mistakes.
education IS the key
When I saw that I COULDN'T stop the bleeding,
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Hi Liz, thank you so much for your time and patience with this one:)
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Iza:
What a creative mind you have! Lily goes from
a life of not belonging and having to scrap for
everything she gets to learning she has blood
that can miraculously cure people. Then we
find Lily is not greedy as she wants money to
help other kids who are in the situation she
used to be in.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Iza:
What a creative mind you have! Lily goes from
a life of not belonging and having to scrap for
everything she gets to learning she has blood
that can miraculously cure people. Then we
find Lily is not greedy as she wants money to
help other kids who are in the situation she
used to be in.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 04-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this uplifting review:)
Comment from estory
This is an interesting science fiction kind of story where someone has blood that can cure the virus, and the greed of mankind and the good of mankind comes through at the same time as we see one man who just wants to make money off of it, and one who sees that the blood can't be taken, but given, and is willing to support the woman's charity to get it. And save the world. estory
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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This is an interesting science fiction kind of story where someone has blood that can cure the virus, and the greed of mankind and the good of mankind comes through at the same time as we see one man who just wants to make money off of it, and one who sees that the blood can't be taken, but given, and is willing to support the woman's charity to get it. And save the world. estory
Comment Written 04-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you:)
Comment from amada
Great imagination in creating a story about the corona virus pandemic and connected to the phrase "it's happening tonight." I think you wrote a creative and modern story. Great work.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Great imagination in creating a story about the corona virus pandemic and connected to the phrase "it's happening tonight." I think you wrote a creative and modern story. Great work.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much, Amanda for taking a chance on this piece:)
