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Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Nearing the Finish Line"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
8 total reviews
Comment from AnnieDawn
This chapter is well written with well-defined characters and active conversations but I have one question. If they are surrounded by raging brush and forest fires they are sure calm and seemingly unaware of what is going on around them. Those types of fires spread rapidly and yet your characters remain so naive.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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This chapter is well written with well-defined characters and active conversations but I have one question. If they are surrounded by raging brush and forest fires they are sure calm and seemingly unaware of what is going on around them. Those types of fires spread rapidly and yet your characters remain so naive.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your interested review. The fire has burned farther away from them by now. That will be addressed in the next chapter. Some of this was dealt in the previous chapters.
Comment from RetroStarfish
Interesting chapter, but its a bit enigmatic. Regardless of whether I've read previous chapters, there's a lot that is unsaid. I like the theme of "wear our your welcome" that is woven through. It works well.
There's some missing punctuation and grammar errors:
'...transfer the remaining foods...' should be food.
I remember hearing my mother say, 'we don't want to wear out our welcome'" needs a period between the single quote and the double quote.
'Now they'll never figure out who started it." Liz laughed ' needs a period.
'he'd asked the questions that would...' he only asked one question.
Interesting chapter though. I'd read more.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Interesting chapter, but its a bit enigmatic. Regardless of whether I've read previous chapters, there's a lot that is unsaid. I like the theme of "wear our your welcome" that is woven through. It works well.
There's some missing punctuation and grammar errors:
'...transfer the remaining foods...' should be food.
I remember hearing my mother say, 'we don't want to wear out our welcome'" needs a period between the single quote and the double quote.
'Now they'll never figure out who started it." Liz laughed ' needs a period.
'he'd asked the questions that would...' he only asked one question.
Interesting chapter though. I'd read more.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. I attended to your suggestions. If you want to read the previous chapters, you are welcome to go to my profile. There is no need to do a review. There is mystery & suspense in most chapters.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
This it's a good story with characters that interact appropriately.
There was this one issue:
Typo - change this: (What brought here anyway? ")
To this: "What brought you here anyway?"
*NOTICE that there was a space after the closing quotation that I changed so there was no space after the question mark and the closing quotation! I also added the word YOU that was left out!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you;-)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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This it's a good story with characters that interact appropriately.
There was this one issue:
Typo - change this: (What brought here anyway? ")
To this: "What brought you here anyway?"
*NOTICE that there was a space after the closing quotation that I changed so there was no space after the question mark and the closing quotation! I also added the word YOU that was left out!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you;-)
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. I attended to your 'catch'. Thank you.
Comment from aryr
This was truly great and rather amazing, Liz. There are indeed many unanswered questions for all parties involved. Liz and Linda have a crushing need to question Tommy and he likewise needs more answers. I honestly do think he is related to Sage and Feather, but we will have to wait for the next chapter to learn more answers. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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This was truly great and rather amazing, Liz. There are indeed many unanswered questions for all parties involved. Liz and Linda have a crushing need to question Tommy and he likewise needs more answers. I honestly do think he is related to Sage and Feather, but we will have to wait for the next chapter to learn more answers. Great job.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I always appreciate your connection.
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You are so welcome Liz, I really enjoy this book.
Comment from Mistydawn
Maybe she'll get her questions answered after all, lol. She deserves that much after all that the two have been through. Your chapter is well-written, interesting, believable. I've enjoyed this adventure and hope to read more.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Maybe she'll get her questions answered after all, lol. She deserves that much after all that the two have been through. Your chapter is well-written, interesting, believable. I've enjoyed this adventure and hope to read more.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I always appreciate your connection.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Your girls are still on the road of self-discovery: "ow many more adventures have they had? Tommy was beginning to wonder.
We are at the point where we have to tell about the girls. We'll soon know if he is of the Crow Nation and if he is Sage and Feather's brother. Liz held her breath.
" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Your girls are still on the road of self-discovery: "ow many more adventures have they had? Tommy was beginning to wonder.
We are at the point where we have to tell about the girls. We'll soon know if he is of the Crow Nation and if he is Sage and Feather's brother. Liz held her breath.
" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I always appreciate your connection.
Comment from lyenochka
I see we are at a climax and a denouement is about to come when they will find out what connections that they really have, like how Tommy is connected to the girls they helped rescue.
There were a lot of places where quotation marks were either missing or put in odd places, so you might want to edit. Here are some places:
But I don't know how (open quote needed)
I didn't mean to drown (open quote needed)
First of all, I'm (open quote needed)
It was very moving. (close quote needed)
"I'm afraid--- confessed Liz--- I'm ("I'm afraid," confessed Liz. "I'm )
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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I see we are at a climax and a denouement is about to come when they will find out what connections that they really have, like how Tommy is connected to the girls they helped rescue.
There were a lot of places where quotation marks were either missing or put in odd places, so you might want to edit. Here are some places:
But I don't know how (open quote needed)
I didn't mean to drown (open quote needed)
First of all, I'm (open quote needed)
It was very moving. (close quote needed)
"I'm afraid--- confessed Liz--- I'm ("I'm afraid," confessed Liz. "I'm )
Comment Written 02-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your loyally helpful review. I have attended to your insights. Thank you.
Comment from AJ McCall
Awww! I wanted them to say it already!! It's such a cliff-hanger! Which is good because you'll know I'll be back for the next chapter! I can't wait to read that part. Hope you had a lovely New Year Liz!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Awww! I wanted them to say it already!! It's such a cliff-hanger! Which is good because you'll know I'll be back for the next chapter! I can't wait to read that part. Hope you had a lovely New Year Liz!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you'll be coming back. Now, I've just got to write it. lol I did have nice holidays. There are many lovely people in my life. I hope the same for you & your loved ones.
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LOL! Yes, they're all very lovely! You're welcome!
