Assassin Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Home to the Hill"A sequel to the novel Baker's Dozen
13 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Whoa... so, he definitely found some sought after wisdom or, at the very least, finality in that 'encounter' with Guninder... ;)
Sorry I'm so far behind, Bill -- glad to see things are still going along!! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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Whoa... so, he definitely found some sought after wisdom or, at the very least, finality in that 'encounter' with Guninder... ;)
Sorry I'm so far behind, Bill -- glad to see things are still going along!! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
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Glad you're back. Sorry for your loss, but nice you could help in the chaos of reorienting.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Bill. I enjoyed this segment, but I believe speech tags are missing for most of it. In some cases the reader can assume who he thinks is speaking, but such was not my experience here, my friend. I would also change the first paragraph to:
"Manuel Kontroz lay on his cot in the small room serving as his living space.
I am probably missing something here, but that is not your fault, Bill Bob
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Hi Bill. I enjoyed this segment, but I believe speech tags are missing for most of it. In some cases the reader can assume who he thinks is speaking, but such was not my experience here, my friend. I would also change the first paragraph to:
"Manuel Kontroz lay on his cot in the small room serving as his living space.
I am probably missing something here, but that is not your fault, Bill Bob
Comment Written 18-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Bob, for the good notes and suggestions. Bill
Comment from Earl Corp
This was pretty deep with the meditation and him hearing his Guru Guninder's voice while he was meditating. Cool chapter. I can't wait to read the next installment. Keep'em coming.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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This was pretty deep with the meditation and him hearing his Guru Guninder's voice while he was meditating. Cool chapter. I can't wait to read the next installment. Keep'em coming.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Earl
Comment from Mistydawn
No innocent, no one can be trusted, what a grave thought. It adds to the suspence, the mystery of your story. Your last line is chilling. This chapter is well-written, very interesting. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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No innocent, no one can be trusted, what a grave thought. It adds to the suspence, the mystery of your story. Your last line is chilling. This chapter is well-written, very interesting. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thanks, MD
Comment from Jasmine Girl
These assassins are also genetically enhanced. It is like "Blade Runner". A world government is forming that will make all local government powerless. I think one of the function of Bitcoin is just that. If any local government can't print money anymore, it is out of power.
Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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These assassins are also genetically enhanced. It is like "Blade Runner". A world government is forming that will make all local government powerless. I think one of the function of Bitcoin is just that. If any local government can't print money anymore, it is out of power.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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Lots of plans by the bad guys.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
There are a lot of things going on this country. I like the following sentences: Clearly you have been thrust into this situation to verify that what has been presented is what is reality. Instead, you are discovering that nothing is as it seems and there are several realities operating." It says a lot.
I also like the closing sentences: "For behold, the day is coming when all the arrogant and evildoers will be stubble. The day that is coming shall leave them neither root nor branch."
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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There are a lot of things going on this country. I like the following sentences: Clearly you have been thrust into this situation to verify that what has been presented is what is reality. Instead, you are discovering that nothing is as it seems and there are several realities operating." It says a lot.
I also like the closing sentences: "For behold, the day is coming when all the arrogant and evildoers will be stubble. The day that is coming shall leave them neither root nor branch."
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Chan
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Manuel Kontroz does pose many interesting questions to ponder. The world is changing and it looks like he wants to be part of the change.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Manuel Kontroz does pose many interesting questions to ponder. The world is changing and it looks like he wants to be part of the change.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Manny will be the fix to the problem.
Comment from nomi338
Ooh, sounds ominous. So what should one do in a world where no one is who they say they are, and no one can be trusted, perhaps not even oneself. This story is very sticky, I don't know whom to trust, whom to watch, whom even to watch out for.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Ooh, sounds ominous. So what should one do in a world where no one is who they say they are, and no one can be trusted, perhaps not even oneself. This story is very sticky, I don't know whom to trust, whom to watch, whom even to watch out for.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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I hope that we get out alive.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Bill, tying this story in with biblical prophecy is an interesting and innovative idea. Mixing assassins that you have introduced by the dozen, (many of whom have been genetically programmed with the instant healing,) with words written 3000 years ago is going to produce some very interesting action.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Dear Bill, tying this story in with biblical prophecy is an interesting and innovative idea. Mixing assassins that you have introduced by the dozen, (many of whom have been genetically programmed with the instant healing,) with words written 3000 years ago is going to produce some very interesting action.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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I hope it all works out, Suzanna
Comment from Rosalie Lawrence
Setting is a small room with a man in a zen state. I get it. If this is the future or another world, I would like to have a little more description of the man and the room to help ease me in. Who is speaking first? Manuel? So the mentor is in italic? He certainly has a task before him. What an opportunity to describe Manuel as he looks in the mirror, if you haven't already done so. Interesting. Write on.
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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Setting is a small room with a man in a zen state. I get it. If this is the future or another world, I would like to have a little more description of the man and the room to help ease me in. Who is speaking first? Manuel? So the mentor is in italic? He certainly has a task before him. What an opportunity to describe Manuel as he looks in the mirror, if you haven't already done so. Interesting. Write on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Rosalie. This is chapter 20 so a few descriptions have been given. This chapter concerns Kontroz coming to an understanding that there are none to be saved.
