A Snow Globe Walk
lake reflection form55 total reviews
Comment from R. Hiland
Nice work with the form, although to be honest I think the first line is the weakest (isn't "embarking forth" redundant?) of the poem. The rest flows so nicely....
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Nice work with the form, although to be honest I think the first line is the weakest (isn't "embarking forth" redundant?) of the poem. The rest flows so nicely....
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Thank you for the honest feedback. I'll have to ponder what four syllables I can use in place of the first two words. Thanks for your help in improving my writing.
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Again to be honest, I couldn't come up with anything to suggest that I liked better. I just generally prefer verbs rather than gerunds
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I get it. I know I hate putting in the word 'that', but for meter sometimes I need a filler.
Thanks again.
Comment from Ann Market
This is a beautifully written poem with fun meaning in it! I enjoyed reading this!!
The descriptions are very vivid and the form is fantastic!
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
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This is a beautifully written poem with fun meaning in it! I enjoyed reading this!!
The descriptions are very vivid and the form is fantastic!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
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Hi Ann Market,
Thank you for stopping by and sharing the delightful comments.
Comment from kiwisteveh
A lovely, gentle poem appropriate to this holiday season. I liked the bookending rhymes of storm and warm, which also add contrast.
Beautiful, smooth flow too and an interesting form.
Steve
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
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A lovely, gentle poem appropriate to this holiday season. I liked the bookending rhymes of storm and warm, which also add contrast.
Beautiful, smooth flow too and an interesting form.
Steve
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
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Hi Steve,
Thank you for such a delightful review. You're the only one that mentioned the bookending of storm and warm. Thanks for noticing, and for the encouragement.
Debi
Comment from DonandVicki
This poem made me fantasize as to what it would like to be in a snow globe. Cold, quiet and peaceful. This year has been anything but peaceful. Very well written.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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This poem made me fantasize as to what it would like to be in a snow globe. Cold, quiet and peaceful. This year has been anything but peaceful. Very well written.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your insightful comments and the encouragement.
Debi
Comment from Mary Vigasin
In spite of expecting a foot snow tonight, your poem is captivating. It takes your reader into the gentleness of light snow falling and a peaceful walk in the evening snow. You put your reader inside the snow globe to witness its beauty and and peace.
beautifully written.
Thank you for the image and adventure.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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In spite of expecting a foot snow tonight, your poem is captivating. It takes your reader into the gentleness of light snow falling and a peaceful walk in the evening snow. You put your reader inside the snow globe to witness its beauty and and peace.
beautifully written.
Thank you for the image and adventure.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Hi Mary,
Thank you for the insightful comments. I am glad this gave you another version of winter. We are expecting a not so gentle storm soon. I know we need the moisture, but I could do without the cold winds.
Debi
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear debi, this poem is filled with such beautiful images each one like a step through that wonderland of snow.
Because this is the first time I have ever had a chance to review some of your work, I would like to fan you to see what else you have written. I hope that is OK with you.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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Dear debi, this poem is filled with such beautiful images each one like a step through that wonderland of snow.
Because this is the first time I have ever had a chance to review some of your work, I would like to fan you to see what else you have written. I hope that is OK with you.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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Hi Suzanna Ray,
Thank you for the encouraging review and comments about the images.
I would be honored if you would fan me and explore my writing. I can think of no greater compliment.
I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. Thank you for stopping by to read my work, and for your patience.
Debi
Comment from Y. M. Roger
What a wonderful vision to just close your eyes and imagine, WJ!! ;) Love the peacefulness your chosen rhymes and phrases paint for the reader -- breathe in the cold and just relax in the moment!! ;) Thanx for sharing, my lady, and Merry Christmastime! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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What a wonderful vision to just close your eyes and imagine, WJ!! ;) Love the peacefulness your chosen rhymes and phrases paint for the reader -- breathe in the cold and just relax in the moment!! ;) Thanx for sharing, my lady, and Merry Christmastime! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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Hi Yvette,
I am pleased you enjoyed the images in this verse. I needed a moment to relax and this gave me the opportunity.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Here's hoping 2021 is the best yet.
Debi
Comment from royowen
What a beautifully written poem Debi, you've done very well with this Mary Kay invention, there's been several good forms invented on fanstory this year, this is one of them, beautifully written Debi, you've done a really good job on this one, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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What a beautifully written poem Debi, you've done very well with this Mary Kay invention, there's been several good forms invented on fanstory this year, this is one of them, beautifully written Debi, you've done a really good job on this one, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Hi Roy,
Thank you for the encouraging comments and excellent review.
Debi
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My pleasure
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Welcome
Comment from robyn corum
Debi,
I have only recently seen examples of this cool form - it's unusual and fun, but maybe it's not QUITE as difficult as some of the ones created lately? (What do I know, though. haha I haven't tried this or any of them. Far too lazy!)
I like your version - I LOVE the idea of being trapped inside a snow globe and think that is INGENIOUS!
Thanks for the smile!
(PS - don't you love Helen?!)
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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Debi,
I have only recently seen examples of this cool form - it's unusual and fun, but maybe it's not QUITE as difficult as some of the ones created lately? (What do I know, though. haha I haven't tried this or any of them. Far too lazy!)
I like your version - I LOVE the idea of being trapped inside a snow globe and think that is INGENIOUS!
Thanks for the smile!
(PS - don't you love Helen?!)
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2020
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Hi Robyn,
Thank you for the lovely review. This form isn't too hard and I bet you'd do a wonderful job if you gave it a whirl.
I appreciate the encouraging and generous remarks.
Yes, I do love Helen. She is always so upbeat and encouraging. A great example to follow.
Have a wonderful holiday.
Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Nice use of sensory appeal. I see those snow globes and silver sight, hear that crunch (I like that line), maybe even taste those lacy flakes. Great ending with peaceful thoughts keeping you warm. So true.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Nice use of sensory appeal. I see those snow globes and silver sight, hear that crunch (I like that line), maybe even taste those lacy flakes. Great ending with peaceful thoughts keeping you warm. So true.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Hi Shari,
Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate the encouraging comments about the writing, especially the sensory appeal of this poem.
Debi
