Winter Storm
Story of a storm21 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The first part of your story is very inviting. The conflict in Lady Elma's heart seems to have been calmed by Lord Henry's request to resume his courtship. The added news of a daughter gives Lady Elma pause, but she seems to accede to the circumstances.
Ralf
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
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The first part of your story is very inviting. The conflict in Lady Elma's heart seems to have been calmed by Lord Henry's request to resume his courtship. The added news of a daughter gives Lady Elma pause, but she seems to accede to the circumstances.
Ralf
Comment Written 25-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
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Thanks for reading and reviewing zanya
Comment from Allezw2
Lady ZANYA,
An interesting tale of unsupported assumption and timely refutation. All comes well in the end.
The descriptive weather sequences led the reader to understand the protagonists anxiety.
The use of single quotes for the bits of dialogue was noted as peculiar. Also there were times when a speech tag was unnecessary and added unnecessary word to an otherwise complete discourse; the extra nail in the coffin lid so to speak.
Now, is there a next chapter in mind? Surely with such a beginning, it is not the end.
I'll say these entries all faced such dire weather, largely in the surroundings, though fear of different varieties were there, mostly physical. Mine story was of storms that were merely annoying and tolerated.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Fantasist
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
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Lady ZANYA,
An interesting tale of unsupported assumption and timely refutation. All comes well in the end.
The descriptive weather sequences led the reader to understand the protagonists anxiety.
The use of single quotes for the bits of dialogue was noted as peculiar. Also there were times when a speech tag was unnecessary and added unnecessary word to an otherwise complete discourse; the extra nail in the coffin lid so to speak.
Now, is there a next chapter in mind? Surely with such a beginning, it is not the end.
I'll say these entries all faced such dire weather, largely in the surroundings, though fear of different varieties were there, mostly physical. Mine story was of storms that were merely annoying and tolerated.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Fantasist
Comment Written 19-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
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Superb review - a most enjoyable read - Lady Zanya !
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You are quite welcome, Fantasist
Comment from Judy Lawless
I enjoyed reading this story, as I'm fond of historical fiction. You did a great job of using the storm refence required, as both physical and emotional. I would have liked to see more description though so I could better envision the characters and the surroundings.
Congratulations in placing second in this competition.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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I enjoyed reading this story, as I'm fond of historical fiction. You did a great job of using the storm refence required, as both physical and emotional. I would have liked to see more description though so I could better envision the characters and the surroundings.
Congratulations in placing second in this competition.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thanks for a great reveiw and yes you're right description adds so much to storytelling zanya
Comment from Ric Myworld
In life, every changing minute brings another obstacle or reward, leaving us to decide which of either truly is. Should we snuggle in the warmth and comfort, or run for the safety of the blizzard. I saved my last six of the week for that special story, and yours is it. Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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In life, every changing minute brings another obstacle or reward, leaving us to decide which of either truly is. Should we snuggle in the warmth and comfort, or run for the safety of the blizzard. I saved my last six of the week for that special story, and yours is it. Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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And thanks again for those 6 twinkling stars !zanya
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I very much like romantic stories.
I think period pieces are more difficult than contemporary to write because we have to breath life into a century long gone, whose customs and beliefs were different than today.
I think you did a good job with that.
Of course as a reader, I wanted the two main characters to reunite.
My only question is: What has changed? If the father disapproved previously, what would have changed that?
It is good that she finds out he didn't drop her because he wanted to.
But I think you need an explanation of why the girls father would suddenly accept this older suitor now.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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I very much like romantic stories.
I think period pieces are more difficult than contemporary to write because we have to breath life into a century long gone, whose customs and beliefs were different than today.
I think you did a good job with that.
Of course as a reader, I wanted the two main characters to reunite.
My only question is: What has changed? If the father disapproved previously, what would have changed that?
It is good that she finds out he didn't drop her because he wanted to.
But I think you need an explanation of why the girls father would suddenly accept this older suitor now.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
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Thanks for a great review zanya
Comment from equestrik
I like this story as it really tells a complete story and it is well written. There are a few typos which detract. In the line: The two grey bay, there is no such thing as a grey bay. And here, Lady Elma's heart began to melt with comp looassion I know you meant compassion. Love the picture as well.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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I like this story as it really tells a complete story and it is well written. There are a few typos which detract. In the line: The two grey bay, there is no such thing as a grey bay. And here, Lady Elma's heart began to melt with comp looassion I know you meant compassion. Love the picture as well.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Thanks for a great review & reminder about the bays !! zanya
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This story has several good metaphors. For those unaware of the effects, physically and psychologically, of storms, you depicted them so the reader can experience it vicariously and viscerally. It felt very real for me. We have predictions of a foot today and 5 more inches tomorrow. And is it ever cold. We went from 40 degrees to the teens in one day.
But this is Vermont. Well written.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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This story has several good metaphors. For those unaware of the effects, physically and psychologically, of storms, you depicted them so the reader can experience it vicariously and viscerally. It felt very real for me. We have predictions of a foot today and 5 more inches tomorrow. And is it ever cold. We went from 40 degrees to the teens in one day.
But this is Vermont. Well written.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Superb review zanya
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Update: We got 14-15 in. but others around me got 20! I was lucky.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about natural storms outside are w
Sometimes nothing compared to the storms inside our minds and hearts where no one are able to see the severity of our personal storms.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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A very well-written story about natural storms outside are w
Sometimes nothing compared to the storms inside our minds and hearts where no one are able to see the severity of our personal storms.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Great review zanya
Comment from RetroStarfish
Great story. Wonderful plot, and I also like the ending - comparing the storm outside to the one in her heart. There are also some nice turns of phrases, such as this one: "...their breath forming a mist on the carriage window."
Victorian stories such as this one are often wordy and the dialogue overly formal, however, it is possible to go too far: 'Lady Elma, would you accede to my request to pay you court once again, subject to your father's approval?'
Finally, there are quite a few typos - ritkuals, comp looasion - that could easily have been spotted with a quick proof read, or even a spell check before posting.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Great story. Wonderful plot, and I also like the ending - comparing the storm outside to the one in her heart. There are also some nice turns of phrases, such as this one: "...their breath forming a mist on the carriage window."
Victorian stories such as this one are often wordy and the dialogue overly formal, however, it is possible to go too far: 'Lady Elma, would you accede to my request to pay you court once again, subject to your father's approval?'
Finally, there are quite a few typos - ritkuals, comp looasion - that could easily have been spotted with a quick proof read, or even a spell check before posting.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Thanks for a superb review + SPAGS reminder ! zanya
Comment from Polly Dolly
This was a vividly written piece. It did get a little confusing, think a typo perhaps, because Mr. Brown refers to Elma's father as Lord Henry. I found myself disoriented after that. When I reread it, I realized it was most likely an oversight. Might want to edit if you can. Had a great Victorian vibe. Nice visual language. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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This was a vividly written piece. It did get a little confusing, think a typo perhaps, because Mr. Brown refers to Elma's father as Lord Henry. I found myself disoriented after that. When I reread it, I realized it was most likely an oversight. Might want to edit if you can. Had a great Victorian vibe. Nice visual language. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
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Thanks for a great reveiw and useful advice ! Much appreciated zanya
