Obsolete
Now in a museum.12 total reviews
Comment from Patricia Cammish
You have a good idea here but if you are writing in the 5 7 5 format then the second line is too long. GPS is three syllables. Thus the line is ten syllables. You could miss out 'is ' and 'I guess' and add an apostrophe of omission to sleigh (sleigh's)
Your last line, which is an excellent ending, could then be the statement.
For me , it's lights out.?
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
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You have a good idea here but if you are writing in the 5 7 5 format then the second line is too long. GPS is three syllables. Thus the line is ten syllables. You could miss out 'is ' and 'I guess' and add an apostrophe of omission to sleigh (sleigh's)
Your last line, which is an excellent ending, could then be the statement.
For me , it's lights out.?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your review. My syllable counter was wrong, I checked the word individually, and you were right. Thanks for having my back. Could you look again to see if it is okay.
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Hi again. That looks great, but perhaps you could divide it up by putting a full stop after GPS, or even a colon so that your final line a stated conclusion. Looking back at my review I am sorry an errant finger added a question mark. I must have been tired. I'd been trying to earn more dollars in order to promote my Desert Journey in the short writing section!
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Oh that would be such a shame if we all had to turn our Christmas lights off, LOL. But if Santa has a sat nav what are we do do? Let's hope he has a book containing all of our postcodes/zip codes. Otherwise he might miss out one or two of us!
An amusing entry for the competition.
take care Pete
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
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Oh that would be such a shame if we all had to turn our Christmas lights off, LOL. But if Santa has a sat nav what are we do do? Let's hope he has a book containing all of our postcodes/zip codes. Otherwise he might miss out one or two of us!
An amusing entry for the competition.
take care Pete
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your review.
