Under The Mistletoad
5-7-5 Christmas good wishes to you all...19 total reviews
Comment from GregoryCody
Hahaha I like it! I see why this won. These are fun to do sometimes. Followed format and rules and it's Funny!! Great job. I like the close of course as well. Having flies too!
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2020
  |
Hahaha I like it! I see why this won. These are fun to do sometimes. Followed format and rules and it's Funny!! Great job. I like the close of course as well. Having flies too!
Comment Written 12-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your comments Gregory!
-
Of course. Even though it beat mine! Lol. Have a good weekend
-
Could you help me out with yours....
I was bright enough to get the paws bit, but for fox sake the bush league was obscure to me.
-
I LOVE THAT YOU SAID THAT!! Are you from Australia? I think I read that. My good friend is Australian Sharyn Stone (who told me about You btw) Didn't know either! Lol.
It must be an American term. It means amateur. Like a baseball team minor league etc.
Haha funny you both said that :)
-
Yes, I'm an Aussie but I live in New Zealand now. Thanks for explaining that term. I don't know Sharyn Stone - does she write under a different name?
-
Oh duh, I'm sorry. Yes her name is Visionary1234
Her and Rama taught me everything honestly. I started here to work on my prose, as I said. But then I found poetry! There's so much To it. And now that I see it, I realize the poetry has helped my prose immensely. You know what else has helped? Flash Fiction. I found that recently. Sharyn helped here as well. But it's made my writing more succinct and poetic. Pretty cool. :)
But yes Sharyn is a great writer. And says the same about you.
-
I respect Rama's and Visionary1234's writing and comments immensely - you've obviously had some good input from them. I think the more styles we write in the better our writing will become, because it challenges our brains to think differently and we can apply what we've learnt. Some people trot out the same same and don't grow. It sounds like you don't suffer from that narrowness.
-
Oh yeah I don't at all. I had written one or two poems before. Then I started reading some great ones so I decided to try for real. And after the critiques I got more into it. I started gaining a good sized fan base (not bragging haha). Most have slipped away as I stepped back from FS. But I met some Great writers and Rama and Sharyn and I became close. So they both taught me All styles of poetry. Formal types like sonnets and rondeaus that have many rules and of course meter. I'm AWFUL at meter. da DUM da DUM etc. Hahaha. And then I got into freestyle a lot.
I went through a rough couple of years. And i asked Rama to edit. Well she ended up putting them into a story. It told me getting sick, sadness, love and then hope. They are all types.
But THEN I FINALLY got back to my prose (to the relief of my wife that had to listen to Every poem lol).
Flash Fiction is great. But my life's goal is to finish my memoirs. Short narrative essays that I will compile into a book one day.
It's about growing up in a trailer park with a mentally ill mother. Very crazy stuff. Police, detention center escapes, etc. It's Sad stuff BUT I write it all with dry humor. My aim is to make it funny.
Wow sorry for the long note!! It's just rare to meet friends here :)
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
Very cleverly written 5-7-5 poem. Times fun when your having flies. Love this so cute. Great photo as well to go with your surfs. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
|
Very cleverly written 5-7-5 poem. Times fun when your having flies. Love this so cute. Great photo as well to go with your surfs. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your review!
Comment from T.E. Loper
This is a perfect contest entry! Every line, including the title, a pun, yet somehow not over done. That's a difficult balance to strike I think. You've really toad the line with this wonderful entry!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
 |
This is a perfect contest entry! Every line, including the title, a pun, yet somehow not over done. That's a difficult balance to strike I think. You've really toad the line with this wonderful entry!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
-
I like your appreciative review of my poem! Thank you very much.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Poet,
I love this! It suits a frog or toad so well!
Even the title nails it with "Mistletoad". That's super!
"Hoppy holidays" ... ( I think I'd go with both caps,
Hoppy Holidays) but again, a purr-fect line for the contest!
and switching "fun" and "flies" in this line,
"Time's fun when you're having flies" instead of the norm...
(Time flies when you're having fun)
But I don't get the last line... help me out with that.
Nevertheless, you've definitely got a shot at winning this contest!
Good Luck!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
|
Hi Mystery Poet,
I love this! It suits a frog or toad so well!
Even the title nails it with "Mistletoad". That's super!
"Hoppy holidays" ... ( I think I'd go with both caps,
Hoppy Holidays) but again, a purr-fect line for the contest!
and switching "fun" and "flies" in this line,
"Time's fun when you're having flies" instead of the norm...
(Time flies when you're having fun)
But I don't get the last line... help me out with that.
Nevertheless, you've definitely got a shot at winning this contest!
Good Luck!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 11-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your review. The last line refers to drinking cocoa (croak-o) a hot chocolate drink.
-
Oh, I get it now! It took me a few times reading it... duh! But now I understand... "croak-o" for "cocoa". Brilliant!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Witty, Animal 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Nice presentation with cute picture.
Yours is the best one I read so far for this contest.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
|
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Witty, Animal 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Nice presentation with cute picture.
Yours is the best one I read so far for this contest.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your supportive review. So far, it is doing well in the voting, so other people must think well of it too.
Comment from lyenochka
You had a "punny" word play in every line and made me laugh the most! The malapropism of the "Time's fun when you're having flies' was the best. Hope you do well in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
|
You had a "punny" word play in every line and made me laugh the most! The malapropism of the "Time's fun when you're having flies' was the best. Hope you do well in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your appreciative review!
-
You have my vote!
-
I appreciate that. Thank you!
Comment from Justin Chopin
Very funny. Thought using Croak-o as a pun for how a frog would drink "cocoa" was remarkably creative. Hope your " Froggy friend" enjoys his flies. Great work with this piece.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
|
Very funny. Thought using Croak-o as a pun for how a frog would drink "cocoa" was remarkably creative. Hope your " Froggy friend" enjoys his flies. Great work with this piece.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
-
Thanks Justin. I'm pleased you appreciated my poem - I appreciated your review!
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written witty animal 5-7-5 poem and the wonder f Christmas from a road's point of view. He hops through the holidays and enjoy having flies with his drink.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
|
A very well-written witty animal 5-7-5 poem and the wonder f Christmas from a road's point of view. He hops through the holidays and enjoy having flies with his drink.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing. Happy holidays to you Sandra. I hope you get more than flies to eat!
Comment from Julie Sandy
Brillant, this is really funny, great wording works great for the competition, I've no chance now lol.
Great picture also, one happy frog.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
|
Brillant, this is really funny, great wording works great for the competition, I've no chance now lol.
Great picture also, one happy frog.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your comments. i wonder if i look like that frog when i'm drinking hot chocolate?
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I like your poem. It is very cute and we all really need a laugh these days.
I particularly like
croak-o...very cute. Your title is great too, especially for this animal pun contest. The white bold type on brown works very well.
If it were me, I would change "Time's fun" to
"Fun times"
Are the flies the frog's guests or is he eating them? It sounds like they are guests. If he is eating them, I'd make that clear.
Good luck in the contest...I think this is a strong entry.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
|
I like your poem. It is very cute and we all really need a laugh these days.
I particularly like
croak-o...very cute. Your title is great too, especially for this animal pun contest. The white bold type on brown works very well.
If it were me, I would change "Time's fun" to
"Fun times"
Are the flies the frog's guests or is he eating them? It sounds like they are guests. If he is eating them, I'd make that clear.
Good luck in the contest...I think this is a strong entry.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
-
Thanks for your review and positive comments. The middle line is an adaptation of the old adage: "Time flies when you're having fun", so to change it to your suggestion would muck that up.
-
Got it.
Blessings to you and yours.
