Traffic
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "A Speck of a Different Sort"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
10 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Very well told story, Liz. It5 is easy enough to follow, considering I don't see every chapter. You have a good use of dialogue, Believable and flowing naturally. The imagery is very well impacting the story: Like here:
Liz fluffed her shirt, rolling up her sleeves. "I feel like I'm having a hot flash. I'm suddenly burning up."
Good writing, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
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Very well told story, Liz. It5 is easy enough to follow, considering I don't see every chapter. You have a good use of dialogue, Believable and flowing naturally. The imagery is very well impacting the story: Like here:
Liz fluffed her shirt, rolling up her sleeves. "I feel like I'm having a hot flash. I'm suddenly burning up."
Good writing, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
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Thank you for enjoyable review.
Comment from aryr
A great continuation chapter Liz. The adventure of Liz and Linda have been interesting all along but now I sense a danger. Perhaps it won't be but one never knows. The strange lights just might be related to a forest or rather a sage bush fire or perhaps there is a testing site. Who knows? Well done, its got my thinking going.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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A great continuation chapter Liz. The adventure of Liz and Linda have been interesting all along but now I sense a danger. Perhaps it won't be but one never knows. The strange lights just might be related to a forest or rather a sage bush fire or perhaps there is a testing site. Who knows? Well done, its got my thinking going.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your involved review. The mystery will be revealed in the next chapter. I am working harder on that one than most others I've composed.
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You are doing a great job Liz and you are so very welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
I wonder why Liz and Linda didn't ask who that authoritarian uniformed figure was and what area was forbidden for them and why. I wonder why that figure didn't identify himself or ask them their identities. I guess we won't know until later...
Liz wrinked up her nose (wrinkled?)
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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I wonder why Liz and Linda didn't ask who that authoritarian uniformed figure was and what area was forbidden for them and why. I wonder why that figure didn't identify himself or ask them their identities. I guess we won't know until later...
Liz wrinked up her nose (wrinkled?)
Comment Written 08-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I wonder what a wrinked nose would look like.
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Something close to a "wink" ? 😊
Comment from minkay6
Excellent work! Your characters were engaging and I enjoyed their relentless pursuit of their end goal no matter what obstacle they encountered. There were only two minor errors in this piece and neither detracted from my enjoyment of it. The misspelling of the word wrinkled and the lack of quotation marks in the final paragraph. As I said, you created an excellent story that you can be proud to display.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Excellent work! Your characters were engaging and I enjoyed their relentless pursuit of their end goal no matter what obstacle they encountered. There were only two minor errors in this piece and neither detracted from my enjoyment of it. The misspelling of the word wrinkled and the lack of quotation marks in the final paragraph. As I said, you created an excellent story that you can be proud to display.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from GE Parson
I hope these gals are familiar in the martial arts defensive fighting because they just seem to keep encountering mysterious characters
every time they turn a corner
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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I hope these gals are familiar in the martial arts defensive fighting because they just seem to keep encountering mysterious characters
every time they turn a corner
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your amusing review. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Stunning imagery, skillful narration, natural dialog, brisk pace. Graphic olfactory depictions. Fine work!
hyphenate as indicated:
leg-and-body-sucking swamp.
the mysterious anachronistically-acting-and-outfitted Native American woman
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Stunning imagery, skillful narration, natural dialog, brisk pace. Graphic olfactory depictions. Fine work!
hyphenate as indicated:
leg-and-body-sucking swamp.
the mysterious anachronistically-acting-and-outfitted Native American woman
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Liz O'Neill The ladies see a speck that is not Kai Zita
This chapter titled A Speck of a Different Sort in you book Traffic. Smiles drew my interest which I like. In your authors note I see your writings are about the adventures of Liz & Linda in Montana.
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Hello Liz O'Neill The ladies see a speck that is not Kai Zita
This chapter titled A Speck of a Different Sort in you book Traffic. Smiles drew my interest which I like. In your authors note I see your writings are about the adventures of Liz & Linda in Montana.
Gert
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your involved review. Yes, this is primarily about Liz & Linda, my best friend & I travelling around Montana. The problems begin when our car stalls so we are walking toward a car repair shop. The 1st 13 chapters are about us rescuing 10 Native American teens from a Trafficking operation. Every chapter is suspenseful. If you wanted to read the earlier chapters, no review is necessary. Just enjoy. There are a lot of facts woven into the story about this epidemic of missing or murdered Native American women, teens & children.
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Smiles Liz O'Neill
I known I will take time to read the previous chapters and make my comments, about the epidemic of missing or murdered Native American women, teens & children.
Gert
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That would be great. All you need to do is write one. That's the trouble with wanting to read many chapters. We feel we need to write reviews. I get up to 70 views on a chapter & only 10 reviews. It excites me that that many people may have enjoyed the chapter.
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Hello Liz O'Neill
Long as I'm going to read and review only 1 (one) chapter which one do you desire me to Read.
Gert
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I really like you adventure story and your two characters. I have noticed you have paragraphs that should be joined as they same person is still making an observation. I'm also wondering if they are walking through the dark with a bright moon and are surrounded by ground fog. Don't get the red sheet, opal lights and red necklace but maybe you explained it in previous chapter. There are times you can make action seem more immediate by dropping the "to be" statements e.g. "were beginning to" "sarcasm was oozing from" "find herself" etc. Good luck with this. You are doing a good job in character development.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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I really like you adventure story and your two characters. I have noticed you have paragraphs that should be joined as they same person is still making an observation. I'm also wondering if they are walking through the dark with a bright moon and are surrounded by ground fog. Don't get the red sheet, opal lights and red necklace but maybe you explained it in previous chapter. There are times you can make action seem more immediate by dropping the "to be" statements e.g. "were beginning to" "sarcasm was oozing from" "find herself" etc. Good luck with this. You are doing a good job in character development.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad you are enjoying this. The source of the lights and red-orange have not been revealed yet. That will be featured in the next chapter. The entire book is suspenseful and mysterious. You are welcome to read the previous chapters. The 1st 13 are about rescuing 10 Native American teen from a trafficking operation.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Your story chapters are always intriguing, and each one always keeps my full attention from the beginning to the end. I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Your story chapters are always intriguing, and each one always keeps my full attention from the beginning to the end. I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you are enjoying it all.
Comment from Mistydawn
Oh my, I'm not liking this at all. The red lights, the different smells, helicopter, did they stumble into a violent protest? I know I have to wait and see. Whatever it is I hope they do something to put themselves in danger. Who am I kidding, this is Liz and LInda, they go from disaster to another. I hope they'll be alright. Your story is well-written, interesting, believable from start to finish. It has a lot of great description. I like the little humor you put in, very relatable. My car broke down, luckily I was a mile from the house. I thought, I can walk this. I was climbing the last hill when someone asks if I need a lift. I thought where were you a mile ago.
I did find one thing you might want to look at
Linda pointed toward the direction they were heading."
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Oh my, I'm not liking this at all. The red lights, the different smells, helicopter, did they stumble into a violent protest? I know I have to wait and see. Whatever it is I hope they do something to put themselves in danger. Who am I kidding, this is Liz and LInda, they go from disaster to another. I hope they'll be alright. Your story is well-written, interesting, believable from start to finish. It has a lot of great description. I like the little humor you put in, very relatable. My car broke down, luckily I was a mile from the house. I thought, I can walk this. I was climbing the last hill when someone asks if I need a lift. I thought where were you a mile ago.
I did find one thing you might want to look at
Linda pointed toward the direction they were heading."
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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I thank you for your review & catching that line. I knew it didn't sound right. I've got it now.
