Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

What beautiful portrait of Ophelia you made using this Fusion Sonnet poem! I never would have considered her as an assertion of "women's rights." But it was clear that she chose death over those options given to women back then - wifedom or the nunnery.
I like how you used the free verse portion to take the reader aside and give more personal background about the tragic heroine.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020

Thanks, Helen. I may have been stretching a point by proclaiming Ophelia a forerunner to the Women's Rights movement! LOL

Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Is the following a special word or is it a typo? it has twenty-one lines[ines] an interesting format of poetry I need to learn more of these. Loved the picture and the layout.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks, Geoffrey. Well spotted. Now corrected. I pasted that directly from the Potlach Club instructions for writing a Fusion Sonnet, without checking it. Careless!

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Ophelia
by tfawcus

Hello, Tony,

Great Fusion Sonnet for the Potlach Club challenge.

The Fusion Sonnet format is very complicated and would kill my muse to try it so I'll stick to haiku LoL

The topic is wonderfully creative. You mixed archaic Shakespearian tragedy with contemporary issues that women deal with. Well done.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Goodness! Steer well clear of it. I'd hate to see your muse pegging out.
I have to say, it strained mine a bit. She retired to bed with a headache.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 05-Dec-2020

LoL our poor muses...

Comment from Shenelle Coplien

Excellent

I don't know too much about the technical break down of poetry but this was a good piece about the struggle of being a women - at least that was my interpretation. Good luck!

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks for your review, Shenelle. Your summing up is spot on. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A well crafted sonnet as always Tony. One of these days I will get busy and learn how to write good, solid poetry like this. Maybe I should start with learning Shakespeare.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks for your review and comment, DonandVicki. Some of these forms are so complex that it becomes hard not to make them feel mechanical - a case of form over-riding content. A well-written poem from the heart beats most of them into a cocked hat.

Comment from Rx kingpen

Excellent

A very artsy presentation for this particular club.
I've been reading a dozen or so of these types over the last few days. Although not my particular cup of tea, I can appreciate a poem at face value. For what the content times execution, along with the tech side is worth, I'll give it give it a solid five.Cheers.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks for your review, Rx kingpen. I can't say I'm enamoured of this particular form, either, However, I thought I'd give it a go for the Potlach Club challenge. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from LeftHandedScribe

Excellent

This is most definitely a type of poetry that requires enormous skill and patience. I am so impressed with the way you wove Ophelia's demise into our current viewpoints of women.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks for your kind remarks, LeftHandScribe. I'm not sure about skill, but it certainly required a bit of patience! All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Again, I don't pretend to read, or attempt to understand the rules of this type of sonnet. Some will, and it's for them you generously provide the subset. I will instead read for enjoyment--and that comes in spades with this poem. I enjoy the Tragic storyline, but take time to appreciate the nuances in your wording, like line five and six
"These undulations splinter life. A head
with pallid, moonlit visage stares,"
when I compare it with :
"these undulations splinter life ahead." of the last line, and the reader is directed to think of this one tragic life lost, but future (ahead) gains.

I love the way you play with words. It adds a jocular richness to the entire poem.

Thank you for sharing this.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

'Jocular richness'. I like that. It's a phrase that I could easily have applied to your latest piece if I'd had the wit to think of it.
These complex forms are somewhat akin to doing a crossword puzzle and usually produce something more from the head than the heart.

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Exceptional

Truthfully Tony I would not know a sonnet from a nursery rhyme and when I read Shakespeare I had to first read quick notes to interpret and go back and read the Shakespeare work. So I am limited in knowledge but I do know when I have read a beautiful work of imagery and message and I can hear a poet's voice.
Mary

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks so much for your review and the sixth star, Mary. If you could hear a poet's voice through all these complexities of form, then my heart sings. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from George Santhosh

Excellent

Love how you have expanded Hamlet's work beautifully with vivid imagery
And thank you for the extensive notes, I haven't seen this poetic structure before.

Thanks for sharing,
George

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2020

Thanks very much for your review, George. It's a complex form, and I'm not sure it's worth the effort, but I thought I'd give it a go. All good wishes, Tony