Comment from artisart4u

Exceptional

Your second paragraph line 2 words is very meaningful, Santa is in our hearts. It is a religious thought.
In our church's phone conference we talk about the holy spirit and how we get filled with the spirit. I think as old as I am, I will hold on to that idea about Santa.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020

Thank you so much. I am pleased you found meaning in this story. Thanks for the read, review and honor of six stars.

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

I love the way your mom explained about Santa and the birth of Jesus. They do bring the feeling of love to and in our hearts...they also bring
thoughts about the magical bliss of Christmas.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated.

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Touching and uplifting--skillfully narrated--POV of young child is believable; the dialog is well-rendered. Mother is wise and sensitive--good moral to this tale.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020

Thank you for taking the time to read and for the encouraging comments.

Comment from RetroStarfish

Excellent

This is an excellent story and well told. I loved your mother's explanation and surely she nurtured your creative gift.
You really painted a picture of that classroom and I felt the sting of the bully girl's words.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. Much appreciated.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is a great little Christmas story. Your mom was wise to tell ;you the way she did. Some kid a school always wants to burst the bubble for other children once they can no longer believe. Nicely written.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I can imagine how bewildering this "discovery" was for a seven-year-old. You do an excellent job of setting the scene and taking us into the classroom. Because there is no word limit to this contest, you might want to describe Sister Mary Grace, at least the expression on her face and also your mother.
Some major errors early on:
The last sentence in paragraph 1 is a run-on and extremely wordy.
You change tenses at the beginning of paragraph 2 from past to present. Notice that you revert to past tense in paragraphs 3 & 4.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020

I have made the changes you suggested.
I trudged the five blocks to school, it was a cold morning, and snow was falling. l skittered my way along icy sidewalks on the Monday that ended our Christmas vacation. I was excited to see Jimmy and John, my second-grade friends, and tell them about the gifts that Santa had left for me under our Christmas tree. On snowy days, the sisters let us come right into the classroom. No lining up with our classmates two by two and silently walking to our classrooms.
That morning, I rushed into the cloakroom, put my boots in my boot bag and hung the bag with my coat and hat on my designated hook. I happily hurried into the room where Jim and John stood talking by the side blackboard. As I approached, I shouted, ?Hey guys, can?t wait to tell you what Santa brought.?
Mary Catherine, a rather large, imposing girl with pig tails slung over her shoulders was standing nearby. She pointed at me and blared, ?I don?t believe it, Harry still believes in Santa Claus. What a dope.? The kids around her snickered.
Sister Mary Grace, veil flying, a frown on her pixey face, came up to Mary Catharine and put a hand on her shoulder and said, ?Okay, young lady, that?s enough, go to your seat and say a prayer of forgiveness for being mean.? Sister then came to me and whispered, ?It?s okay, it is up to you. You may believe as you wish as long as you can. Now go sit down.?
I did as sister said. I gazed out the windows at the falling snow. A tear trickled from the corner of my eye. I quickly wiped it with my shirt sleeve. However, deep in my heart, I wondered if what Mary Catherine had said was true.
On the way home, I couldn?t get the idea that there was no Santa Claus out of my head. I anxiously pulled the backdoor open. Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I moaned,
?Mom.? She looked at me, concern on her face. ?Is something wrong?? she asked. I told her that some kids at school said there was no Santa. She came to me a cupped my chin and said, ?I think this calls for some cookies and milk.? She brought the treats to the table, sat down across from me. ?Oh, I see,? she said, a soft smile on her lips. ?Well,? she began, ?Santa is in our hearts. He along with Jesus are the Christmas spirits in our family. We give gifts to each other to remind us of Jesus?s love for us and the kindness we have for each other. Santa is Jesus?s messenger in our hearts. So, for our family, even though we can?t see him, Santa is real, just like Jesus. You see, we hope he?ll bring love and kindness for our family to share every Christmas Eve.?
That evening after Mom tucked me in, I thought about what she said. The story of Santa now began to make sense in my seven-year-old mind.

reply by RodG on 02-Dec-2020

Harry, this is so much better. I really like how you corrected paragraph one. Those short sentences really are effective.
I also like how easily you brought the nun to life with just a few physical details and dialog.
That last scene with Mom In the kitchen really works now.
The only aspect of your story that might need more work is your closing paragraph which seems flat after Mom's wonderful speech.
I upgraded my rating and wish you well inthe contest.
Rod

reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020

Thanks, Rod, your suggestions are always much appreciated. I will look again at the last paragraph.

Comment from greyson ernst

Excellent

ya im still a kid who believes in Santa but this story really is the truth about Santa and good luck in the contest and as always keep writing and stay safe


sincerely Greyson Ernst

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2020

---

reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020

Thank you for the read and review.