Microcosm in a Chinese Garden
Distant landscapes close at hand...17 total reviews
Comment from amada
"the moon's reflection on a raindrop..." Very beautiful and poetic expressions, Lisa may. I can see just half a circle, but evenso, it is a great addition to this fabulous poem.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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"the moon's reflection on a raindrop..." Very beautiful and poetic expressions, Lisa may. I can see just half a circle, but evenso, it is a great addition to this fabulous poem.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much for your supportive comments.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was beautiful. I love the poem. The message and the imagery are excellent. The shape of the poem adds an unexpected element that I also appreciate. Very creative! Well written.
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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I thought this was beautiful. I love the poem. The message and the imagery are excellent. The shape of the poem adds an unexpected element that I also appreciate. Very creative! Well written.
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Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thanks for your wonderfully supportive comments.
Comment from phill doran
Hello LisaMay
*this* is better use of your obvious skills with words. The formatting has forced you to stretch your vocabulary, and yet to still say what you wish to say. A wonderful, evocative sketch, fitting with the theme and the format. I must be honest, but I usually cringe when I see these shape pieces - it reminds me of typists, x-ing Christmas tree shapes, but you have proved the rule.
Lots of western-observed oriental imagery - the casual dropping of the reference to the scholar is very well done; it just conveys a specific environment, seemingly simply...but then making it look simple is the complicated part, right?
Good, strong and thoughtful writing. You are a pleasure to read.
I wish you well, and safe.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hello LisaMay
*this* is better use of your obvious skills with words. The formatting has forced you to stretch your vocabulary, and yet to still say what you wish to say. A wonderful, evocative sketch, fitting with the theme and the format. I must be honest, but I usually cringe when I see these shape pieces - it reminds me of typists, x-ing Christmas tree shapes, but you have proved the rule.
Lots of western-observed oriental imagery - the casual dropping of the reference to the scholar is very well done; it just conveys a specific environment, seemingly simply...but then making it look simple is the complicated part, right?
Good, strong and thoughtful writing. You are a pleasure to read.
I wish you well, and safe.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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You are someone whose opinion I value so I am deeply appreciative or your enthusiastic reception to this poem.
"making it look simple is the complicated part, right?"... sure is. Wrestling with words to make a moon make sense had me thinking on all sorts of levels... 'what on earth' was I doing?
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good Morning, Lisa!
Superb execution of form and message.
I have walked through a number of Japanese gardens = peaceful, and indeed, a microcosm of the world as I imagine and hope it could/can be:
A graceful willow invites the wind. Water shivers.
Contemplating timeless beauty, I linger, content.
As for the concrete form of your offering; that takes a special kind of perseverance!
Beautifully rendered!
diane
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Good Morning, Lisa!
Superb execution of form and message.
I have walked through a number of Japanese gardens = peaceful, and indeed, a microcosm of the world as I imagine and hope it could/can be:
A graceful willow invites the wind. Water shivers.
Contemplating timeless beauty, I linger, content.
As for the concrete form of your offering; that takes a special kind of perseverance!
Beautifully rendered!
diane
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hello Diane! Thank you for your wonderful comments. I can go to bed happy at your high rating... It's 3.15 am and I've just finished a painting for an exhibition. I might write a poem to go with it.... but not now!
Comment from Pantygynt
I am not normally a lover of 'shape' or 'concrete' poetry but this is so well done as well as being beautifully expressed. Only those who have tried to get 'shape' into their posts can appreciate just how much work and frustration goes into something like this. It would be difficult enough a WYSIWYG program like MS Word, to achieve it within FanStory's HTML set up needs a touch of magic and you have it.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I am not normally a lover of 'shape' or 'concrete' poetry but this is so well done as well as being beautifully expressed. Only those who have tried to get 'shape' into their posts can appreciate just how much work and frustration goes into something like this. It would be difficult enough a WYSIWYG program like MS Word, to achieve it within FanStory's HTML set up needs a touch of magic and you have it.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I'm pleased you spent some time with my poem, even though not a 'shape' lover. I appreciate your high rating. There are some reviewers whose opinions I value over others' comments and you are one of them.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fine presentation Lisa, I adored the sentiment of calm in these gardens and the shape of your presentation which must have been hard to create, this is a masterpiece put together with care and your words here are soothing and I felt I was inside that garden whilst reading your words, a magical write. I been to the Japanese gardens in Madeira, Funchal and they are break-taking, they are not miniature though and this must be quite a sight, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This is a fine presentation Lisa, I adored the sentiment of calm in these gardens and the shape of your presentation which must have been hard to create, this is a masterpiece put together with care and your words here are soothing and I felt I was inside that garden whilst reading your words, a magical write. I been to the Japanese gardens in Madeira, Funchal and they are break-taking, they are not miniature though and this must be quite a sight, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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The Chinese garden here in Dunedin is a very tranquil place. I have an annual pass and go regularly when I need a calming interlude.
Comment from djsaxon
A shape poem without equal. I won't dribble on. It is stunning. A remarkable write. I looked at it and went "wow" then bothered to read it LOL. Exceptional work. I dips me lid - DJ x
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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A shape poem without equal. I won't dribble on. It is stunning. A remarkable write. I looked at it and went "wow" then bothered to read it LOL. Exceptional work. I dips me lid - DJ x
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Seems this poem hit the jackpot with you. Lucky me! I respect and admire your writing, so it is a big deal to me to have you rate one of my poems so highly.
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Lisa, your poem is the tits! Sorry. Too many young friends who try to keep me afloat in their world
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I tittered at your description of my poem. I haven't heard that expression before. I lead a sheltered life with no bum notes.
