Girl With The Gray Beret
A Fantasy of my Youth32 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello clever poem to be able to write such a well written and amazing use of words. So has you said in your authors notes-Your posted poem here is a response to Pablo Neruda's Poem # 6.
Gert
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Hello clever poem to be able to write such a well written and amazing use of words. So has you said in your authors notes-Your posted poem here is a response to Pablo Neruda's Poem # 6.
Gert
Comment Written 30-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem, and for your six strs rating!
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You are welcome amada
Gert
Comment from Patricia Cammish
You have written an evocative poignant piece capturing Neruda's style well.
Have you considered setting out your lines as the stanza quoted rather than centering the text?
I love 'your image burst in my lines '
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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You have written an evocative poignant piece capturing Neruda's style well.
Have you considered setting out your lines as the stanza quoted rather than centering the text?
I love 'your image burst in my lines '
Comment Written 30-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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Hi Patricia, thank you for your review. You make a very good point in here, that detail escaped my mind. Wait and see!
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
You are an incredibly skilled poet. This line: "This nebulous, still image of what it was not." Gave me chills. What a gift to self assess and do it with such clarity and beauty.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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You are an incredibly skilled poet. This line: "This nebulous, still image of what it was not." Gave me chills. What a gift to self assess and do it with such clarity and beauty.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this exceptional gift, dear Lefthand!
Comment from Saria/Shreyamsi
OMG! this gives me literal chills!!! I love the way it has been written, beautifully penned and very well thought out....your third stanza really fascinates me.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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OMG! this gives me literal chills!!! I love the way it has been written, beautifully penned and very well thought out....your third stanza really fascinates me.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2020
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Your comments warm my soul, dear Shreyamsi.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This has great depth. I like how you used the original as an inspiration. Many a reader will be drawn to root for you, or identify with you or celebrate such a feeling of completion.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This has great depth. I like how you used the original as an inspiration. Many a reader will be drawn to root for you, or identify with you or celebrate such a feeling of completion.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for reading my work with such attention and dedication. I am pleaded to meet you, Liz.
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I was inspired by My Name is Asher Lev. He sketched his mother with his pen. I sketched,my teacher with words.
My Memory
Her name came up
In conversation
Mrs. H.
I began to draw
In my heart
My memory of her
I drew my memory
of her face of kindness
of her heart of gentleness
of her voice of comfort
I quickly turned to
Another page
I began to sketch
Her standing there
In front of us
Her fifth grade
Teaching us
Not just
How to read
How to do arithmetic
How to express ourselves
But standing there
teaching us
who we can become
with the gifts within us
I turned to
another page
And without need of thought
I drew her
Revealing these gifts
to me
that I knew not of
which lay deep within
my being
To be discovered
at another time
in another season
The next sketch
was me-now
looking deeply
into that gift
at the seed
Of that gift
which she
so long ago
began to nurture
My last sketch
in this book
of my memory
Was of me
Giving to Mrs. H.
a blossom
from that gift
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Thank you for your wonderful memories and your review to my poem.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Beautiful entry for the Ode to You (yes, YOU!) contest. You followed the contest rules well. The presentation is nice. Good ode form.
I love Pablo Neruda, good choice!
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hello anonymous
Beautiful entry for the Ode to You (yes, YOU!) contest. You followed the contest rules well. The presentation is nice. Good ode form.
I love Pablo Neruda, good choice!
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hwllo, Gupsy1 I truly appreciate stopping by, and most for liking my inspiration, Pablo Neruda.
Comment from equestrik
I enjoyed this take on the contest. This is deep and creative. I had not heard of Pablo Neruda and I think this poem is beautiful. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I enjoyed this take on the contest. This is deep and creative. I had not heard of Pablo Neruda and I think this poem is beautiful. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you ver muh for stopping by and reviewing my poetry.
Comment from MissMerri
I loved this. I wasn't sure it was the expected response to the writing prompt, but I loved everything about it, including your author notes. It is beautiful poetry, creating strong, magical images and it makes me want to read more of your work. Unfortunately, I don't know who you are. ;"(
But I will find out.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I loved this. I wasn't sure it was the expected response to the writing prompt, but I loved everything about it, including your author notes. It is beautiful poetry, creating strong, magical images and it makes me want to read more of your work. Unfortunately, I don't know who you are. ;"(
But I will find out.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hi Miss Merry, your review is lovable, just like your sonnets. Thank you for trying to identify me...it's a dare...
Comment from LisaMay
This is a wonderfully evocative and sensory poem... rather ethereal in tone to fit with the quiet girl. The petal hands contrast well with the cigar-stained hands. It should be a worthy winner of the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This is a wonderfully evocative and sensory poem... rather ethereal in tone to fit with the quiet girl. The petal hands contrast well with the cigar-stained hands. It should be a worthy winner of the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Lisa May. Your comments show you are a poet, capturing so well that ethereal feel to fit with that quiet girl.
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I really hope you do well with this poem. I loved it. Thank you for the review nomination!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
It's a nice piece of Biographical Poetry meeting the desired norms.
I'm highly impressed by its theme, presentation, enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and phraseology which is lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme.
Laudable Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Hello Friend,
It's a nice piece of Biographical Poetry meeting the desired norms.
I'm highly impressed by its theme, presentation, enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and phraseology which is lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme.
Laudable Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful six in this Sunday morning. I am honored...so much to say...now I am numb...Thank you for reading the depth of my lines, blessing RPSaxena.
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Amada, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
