A tourist in my own backyard
A quest29 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Jesse,
This is a well done free verse some good metaphor, alliteration and consonance.
Sometimes when you are having problems that others don't seem to understand you may feel like this. Finding a solution is hard. You need to satisfy yourself before you worry about others.
Joan
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2021
  |
Jesse,
This is a well done free verse some good metaphor, alliteration and consonance.
Sometimes when you are having problems that others don't seem to understand you may feel like this. Finding a solution is hard. You need to satisfy yourself before you worry about others.
Joan
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2021
-
Thank you, Joan, for the good advice. Since writing this piece, I have learned a lot and grown a lot to not worry so much about what others think. I appreciate your kind comments and detailed descriptions of what works in this piece. I always love waking up to a surprising review from a post from long ago...thanks so much.
Have a wonderful day, my friend,
Jesse
-
You are most kindly welcome, jesse.
Joan
Comment from Rx kingpen
I think, after reading this a couple times, that the first stanza could stand alone.
That spoke volumes to me. I'm always on my quest to shed this stranger to find my true essence. A quest that must be done alone. Standing O!
|
I think, after reading this a couple times, that the first stanza could stand alone.
That spoke volumes to me. I'm always on my quest to shed this stranger to find my true essence. A quest that must be done alone. Standing O!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, A Tourist in My Own Backyard, follows what I think is your recovery process from your recent accident. I hope you are finding your way back each day.
|
This poem, A Tourist in My Own Backyard, follows what I think is your recovery process from your recent accident. I hope you are finding your way back each day.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I don't know what has happened to you, injury or illness, but it sounds very debilitating and emotionally draining.
As a wife of a man is such a situation, I can feel for all sides.
You do a really good job expressing yourself in your poem...you have a good way with words.
I particularly love the last stanza...the hope in it. How wonderful it will be the day it happens...things that most others take for granted are a miracle to others.
Blessing to you. Keep up the excellent writing.
|
I don't know what has happened to you, injury or illness, but it sounds very debilitating and emotionally draining.
As a wife of a man is such a situation, I can feel for all sides.
You do a really good job expressing yourself in your poem...you have a good way with words.
I particularly love the last stanza...the hope in it. How wonderful it will be the day it happens...things that most others take for granted are a miracle to others.
Blessing to you. Keep up the excellent writing.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A tourist in my own backyard
by Jesse James Doty
Hello, Jesse,
Nice alliteration. You came up with an excellent way to obtain confidence at the beach. We take things for granted, like walking on the sand. It's important to have goals.
Good job!
|
A tourist in my own backyard
by Jesse James Doty
Hello, Jesse,
Nice alliteration. You came up with an excellent way to obtain confidence at the beach. We take things for granted, like walking on the sand. It's important to have goals.
Good job!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
Comment from roof35
It seems to me that anyone who has the skill to write a poem like must be working out life's problems. I wish you luck in casting off the remaining handicaps. This is poignant and well done.
|
It seems to me that anyone who has the skill to write a poem like must be working out life's problems. I wish you luck in casting off the remaining handicaps. This is poignant and well done.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
Comment from crzypnter
This is a wonderfully crafted poem for your self confidence journey. Your use of alliteration throughout combines the line to line ending in your confidence at the beach. Well done blessings
August
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
|
This is a wonderfully crafted poem for your self confidence journey. Your use of alliteration throughout combines the line to line ending in your confidence at the beach. Well done blessings
August
Comment Written 19-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
-
Thank you, August, for this lovely encouraging review. I appreciate you noticing the alliteration, as well as my confidence at the beach. The potential is there to walk without aid on the sand, and I like to remind myself of my goals so that they become more reachable. Thank you for your kind words. Have a beautiful weekend.
Jesse
Comment from karenina
There was a time, I presume, the thought of improving your lot in life was all but erased from you. Suddenly you see a host of possibilities laying out before you...you are not at he destination, OH--but you hold the map in your hand and are bravely moving forward. Your own growing self confidence and a caring woman YOU care about are driving factors! One baby step at a time... "Slow and steady wins the race!"--Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
|
There was a time, I presume, the thought of improving your lot in life was all but erased from you. Suddenly you see a host of possibilities laying out before you...you are not at he destination, OH--but you hold the map in your hand and are bravely moving forward. Your own growing self confidence and a caring woman YOU care about are driving factors! One baby step at a time... "Slow and steady wins the race!"--Karenina
Comment Written 19-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
-
Hello Karenina.
I love to read your view of my predicament. It is so right on! I now hold a map in my hand that appeared unavailable to me, or at least I was unaware of its existence before, but no more! My growing self-confidence and enjoying a caring woman in my life, go hand in hand. One wouldn't have happened without the other, I believe. I actually tell myself things such as, "Slow and steady wins the race" in my daily affirmations. I love that we are on the same page with this. Thank you for this super review.
Take care,
Jesse
-
Progressing for yourself is one thing... Having the extra special motivation of a woman you care for will surely spur you on!--Karenina
-
It feels good to know I am not alone in this. She and I are both growing, and it feels wonderful when we support each other in that growth.
Jesse
-
That is the magic, I think... Two who are willing to support one another in their growth, unconditionally.--Karenina
-
Yes. I believe so too.
Jesse
Comment from estory
It's a nice narrative. Very contemplative, self exploration. It really is a poem of reaching out for connections from a world in which you feel removed, an observer. Only when you imagine the connection with the lover on the beach of fantasy, do your spirits rise. Interestingly, I think writers are really observers, rather than partakers, of life. They articulate life. estory
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
|
It's a nice narrative. Very contemplative, self exploration. It really is a poem of reaching out for connections from a world in which you feel removed, an observer. Only when you imagine the connection with the lover on the beach of fantasy, do your spirits rise. Interestingly, I think writers are really observers, rather than partakers, of life. They articulate life. estory
Comment Written 19-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
-
Thank you for this interesting perspective. I often see myself as an observer of life, including my own life. I appreciate your input, and that you took the time to understand where I am coming from. Thank you for this insightful review. Have a nice weekend.
Jesse
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We are often our own worst enemy when helping ourselves to a good life and we can often sabotage our own efforts to live well. it can be because of our memories or because we are stubborn and often it is just down to habit and making changes when we are older about the way we process thought is increasingly difficult. A poignant free-write Jesse, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
|
We are often our own worst enemy when helping ourselves to a good life and we can often sabotage our own efforts to live well. it can be because of our memories or because we are stubborn and often it is just down to habit and making changes when we are older about the way we process thought is increasingly difficult. A poignant free-write Jesse, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
-
Thank you, Dolly, for your unique perspective on how we deal with discovering ourselves. I believe it is much more complicated than changing habits, but I appreciate your suggestions, and thank you for your review. Have a beautiful Thanksgiving.
Take care,
Jesse
