Renga Two
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "A Mighty Icelandic Waterfall"multi-author book number two
9 total reviews
Comment from estory
You have a very striking image here of the rainbow appearing out of the mist of the waterfall. There's a sense of transcendence here, of one thing morphing into something else, the physical moving into the spiritual. Also very colorful. estory
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
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You have a very striking image here of the rainbow appearing out of the mist of the waterfall. There's a sense of transcendence here, of one thing morphing into something else, the physical moving into the spiritual. Also very colorful. estory
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
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Thanks a lot for the nice review and for understanding me poem better than I do. If you like waterfalls, you will like Iceland.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Mighty Icelandic Waterfall
by Lisa Wharton
Hello, Lisa,
You got your 7/7 in :) good job. I don't see a direct connection between the 5/7/5 and the couplet. What do you think?
pink lilies in bloom
are exquisite pond flowers--
what would Monet do
mighty waterfall sprays high
strikes sunlight through rainbow bridge
It's okay for this time but next time look for a connection between both chapters. I know it's hard to do but it's part of the challenge. Individually they are both beautiful poems.
Good job,
Gypsy
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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A Mighty Icelandic Waterfall
by Lisa Wharton
Hello, Lisa,
You got your 7/7 in :) good job. I don't see a direct connection between the 5/7/5 and the couplet. What do you think?
pink lilies in bloom
are exquisite pond flowers--
what would Monet do
mighty waterfall sprays high
strikes sunlight through rainbow bridge
It's okay for this time but next time look for a connection between both chapters. I know it's hard to do but it's part of the challenge. Individually they are both beautiful poems.
Good job,
Gypsy
Comment Written 17-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Ok. I was thinking Water Lilies and Water Fall. I guess it is a superficial connection not the real one. Sorry about it.
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I have an idea. I have posted a 20 words (14 syllables actually) poem called "Monarch Butterfly on Phlox" just for fun. I didn't enter contest and didn't promote it. Can I use this one to replace the waterfall one? I can disable it original one. I can just post the waterfall one by itself.
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Here is the link to the poem I was talking about:
https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=995983
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I think we should leave it the way it is. It's great. The connection is subtle but there's no need to change it or disable it, please don't do that.
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No worries, it's fine.
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Ok. Thanks. I?m still learning.
Comment from Sugarray77
Thank you, Lisa, for sharing your lovely memories and photographs with us. You used this inspiration in a perfect way when you penned the verse for the Renga. Well said.
Melissa
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Lisa, for sharing your lovely memories and photographs with us. You used this inspiration in a perfect way when you penned the verse for the Renga. Well said.
Melissa
Comment Written 17-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I saw your new work, too.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
What an amazing photograph and a fabulous sight Lisa, how lucky you were to visit Iceland! Your words bring this scene to life and I noticed the rainbow immediately, a unique picture and poem, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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What an amazing photograph and a fabulous sight Lisa, how lucky you were to visit Iceland! Your words bring this scene to life and I noticed the rainbow immediately, a unique picture and poem, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much, Dolly. I really enjoyed visiting Iceland. The waterfalls are amazing. It's not like anywhere else. It was almost like visiting the Moon, barren but hauntingly beautiful.
Comment from palmart
Nice description of words and Mother Nature painting an astonishing landscape! It looks like a "touched" picture, but as per your explanations below, it is a "natural" picture. You were at the right place at the right time! Magic happens by surprise! Great Job!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Nice description of words and Mother Nature painting an astonishing landscape! It looks like a "touched" picture, but as per your explanations below, it is a "natural" picture. You were at the right place at the right time! Magic happens by surprise! Great Job!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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You are right. I edited the picture with more light. I took this picture with a different iPhone camera. So it might be why.
Thank you so much for the nice review.
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You´re very welcome, Lisa!!
You may get a prize in "FanArt Review" for sure!
Have a Blessed week!
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Wow. Yes. I should join FanArtReview with some of my travel pictures. I'm a visual person, too but FanStory keeps me very busy already.
Thanks.
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Well, it was only a suggestion! Actually, you have to find the pictures, make some polishing and you´re ready to go.. FanStory definitively takes more time..
Have a nice time! And keep surpising us!
Comment from Wendy G
Beautiful photo and beautiful poem. They are a perfect combination. Very well written, as when there are only a few words, each one must be just right for its inclusion. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Beautiful photo and beautiful poem. They are a perfect combination. Very well written, as when there are only a few words, each one must be just right for its inclusion. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Jay Squires
I appear to be missing something. Isn't the 7-7 supposed to follow the 5-7-5 haiku? You have a delightful 7-7, but not the 5-7-5. I commend you on your artwork photography. Is that a rainbow I see arcing midway up the photo? or is it the shoreline?
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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I appear to be missing something. Isn't the 7-7 supposed to follow the 5-7-5 haiku? You have a delightful 7-7, but not the 5-7-5. I commend you on your artwork photography. Is that a rainbow I see arcing midway up the photo? or is it the shoreline?
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Yes. It is a rainbow. Please read the Author's Note.
I also wrote the chapter before this one "Monet's Water Lilies" which is a 5-7-5.
There was mix-up yesterday. June and I contributed a 7-7 couplet at the same time. So I had to quickly write a 5-7-5 following hers floral poem and delete this one. Today I realized that I could contribute this one now after a Water Lilies poem with a Waterfall poem.
Thanks for the review.
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Whoa! The complexities of a poet's life!
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Yes. I was lucky that I was able to find a floral poem from my notebook on my phone to update quickly. Poets have exciting moments sometimes.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have used several literary techniques. The alliteration will draw the reader in. Your s's effect the sound of the spraying water. Your description of the images make the reader feel they are actually seeing the waterfall. Thank you for your extra notes.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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You have used several literary techniques. The alliteration will draw the reader in. Your s's effect the sound of the spraying water. Your description of the images make the reader feel they are actually seeing the waterfall. Thank you for your extra notes.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for the nice review. I really appreciate it. I tried to do all these things and sometimes I get lucky.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was a beautiful Renga, Lisa, and I wish I had a six left.
You are such a talented photographer - I love your picture of the waterfall and rainbow.
Great imagery and visuals, and thank you so much for your author notes.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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This was a beautiful Renga, Lisa, and I wish I had a six left.
You are such a talented photographer - I love your picture of the waterfall and rainbow.
Great imagery and visuals, and thank you so much for your author notes.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for your nice review.
I really enjoy visiting Iceland.
