The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Home Where I Belong"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
15 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
As always, this is a very good write . The story is rigt on with most books about the time period and terrain I have read.
My blessings to you Bro. Very good job.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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As always, this is a very good write . The story is rigt on with most books about the time period and terrain I have read.
My blessings to you Bro. Very good job.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thanks again. I think my time period is before yours. If I recall I'm in 1864 and you are 1870 or so. But it looks like I'm going to use captain Sully too, since he was instrumental on forays against the Sioux in Dakotas?
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Good Choice. Good time frame. If I can help let me know. I will introduce the Buffalo soldiers very shortly.
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I have to go back and research when Sully and others started their incursions into the Dakotas, so I think I'm on it. Also, I like the fact that having a repeating rifle was not something everyone had. It was luxury. So it's like the civil war brought a new level up to fighting and after.
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The Spencer was a blessing and all scouts were issued one. About a three or four years ago University of Nebraska did a research on a certain fight that involved the Army using the Spencer. I had it and I thank it is in my old computer. Anyway the results lined up to the archives of a report I found interesting at the time.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Home Where I Belong" is a chapter that tenderly expresses Jane's feeling about her life on the prairie. It was refreshing to read a soft part yet hits at adventurous trouble to hit them again by the Indians. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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"Home Where I Belong" is a chapter that tenderly expresses Jane's feeling about her life on the prairie. It was refreshing to read a soft part yet hits at adventurous trouble to hit them again by the Indians. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thanks! Always look forward to hearing from you.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
As I have mentioned before when reviewing your writing, your narratives are well written. You minimize the use of helping verbs while using active verbs and excellent phrasing. You write so that your words paint a visual image in the reader's mind. Your descriptions are realistic and have depth.
In part of your story Jane likes the fact that they are isolated and that it seems to be a deterrent from incursions from the outside is interesting, but seems historically accurate. We live in much different times. There is no such thing as isolation these days.
Nicely written.
Robert
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
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Hello Stan.
As I have mentioned before when reviewing your writing, your narratives are well written. You minimize the use of helping verbs while using active verbs and excellent phrasing. You write so that your words paint a visual image in the reader's mind. Your descriptions are realistic and have depth.
In part of your story Jane likes the fact that they are isolated and that it seems to be a deterrent from incursions from the outside is interesting, but seems historically accurate. We live in much different times. There is no such thing as isolation these days.
Nicely written.
Robert
Comment Written 17-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Robert!
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You're welcome
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I loved the specific details. I liked how both families were supportive of each other. Five little things to look at: add hyphen between horse and drawn. Add comma between tall and thin where it says tall thin trees. You might change cherub to cherubic, but that one is less obvious. Where it says he got their family enough woods, I think you want firewood. And capitalize Union.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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I loved the specific details. I liked how both families were supportive of each other. Five little things to look at: add hyphen between horse and drawn. Add comma between tall and thin where it says tall thin trees. You might change cherub to cherubic, but that one is less obvious. Where it says he got their family enough woods, I think you want firewood. And capitalize Union.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much, Crystie. I'm saving the message sent so I can look at again to correct it.
Comment from royowen
I like that saying "This land is your land, this land is my land, from California to the the New York Island" I thought," that sounds like a song. I love the very feel of this episode, and keep almost feel the relief as they completed their mission, and their journey home, so well done, great episode, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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I like that saying "This land is your land, this land is my land, from California to the the New York Island" I thought," that sounds like a song. I love the very feel of this episode, and keep almost feel the relief as they completed their mission, and their journey home, so well done, great episode, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Roy. I appreciate your intriguing take on the installment. "This land is your land was one of the first songs I learned how to play on the guitar.
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Great song
Comment from robyn corum
Stan,
Good chapter. There's nothing like being home after a long trip - back to the loving arms of those people who mean the most to you. I think you've described this pretty well. Kudos!
Notes:
1.) Thad never once took his hands off the reins or his rifle until I fell forward and couldn't find my feet.
--> how is he holding those skis?
2.) I must have dozed off when I opened my eyes to see a faint outline of the
--> walking?
3.) to see our family had enough woods, and then he was there ready to defend
--> 'wood', singular? firewood?
4.) I tumbled from the buckboard and dove into his arms.
--> when did she get in
5.) my thoughts ran back through the woods and over (the) river,
Thanks a bunch!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Stan,
Good chapter. There's nothing like being home after a long trip - back to the loving arms of those people who mean the most to you. I think you've described this pretty well. Kudos!
Notes:
1.) Thad never once took his hands off the reins or his rifle until I fell forward and couldn't find my feet.
--> how is he holding those skis?
2.) I must have dozed off when I opened my eyes to see a faint outline of the
--> walking?
3.) to see our family had enough woods, and then he was there ready to defend
--> 'wood', singular? firewood?
4.) I tumbled from the buckboard and dove into his arms.
--> when did she get in
5.) my thoughts ran back through the woods and over (the) river,
Thanks a bunch!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Robyn. I saved your other reviews in order to go back on my other installments to make changes. Much appreciated. Stan
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
I have been waiting for this post , and it was definitely worth the wait. It is so good Thad and Jane arrived successfully and safely home. I am waiting for the next chapter!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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I have been waiting for this post , and it was definitely worth the wait. It is so good Thad and Jane arrived successfully and safely home. I am waiting for the next chapter!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Rebecca. I'd like to think reading your entry would help improve my dialogue. Blessings.
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I like your writing just the way it is.
Comment from Mastery
Excellent job again Stan.
Great images painted with your words, like here:
"My legs became heavy as sandbags, as I churned through the snow. My heart beat heavy in my chest. The snow and ice needled my eyes, so I could hardly leave them open long enough to carve a path. Thad never once took his hands off the reins or his rifle until I fell forward and couldn't find my feet."
Also: "I blinked away until I saw my husband, Jake on the roof, waving his gloved hands. He slid down from the roof and charged toward me. He held Thad up straight from falling. I tumbled from the buckboard and dove into his arms. He hugged me and kissed me on the neck. He warmed me with his brush of his skin and beard."
You have learned the fine art of "SHOWING" instead of TELLING" too. a very big achievement, Stan. Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Excellent job again Stan.
Great images painted with your words, like here:
"My legs became heavy as sandbags, as I churned through the snow. My heart beat heavy in my chest. The snow and ice needled my eyes, so I could hardly leave them open long enough to carve a path. Thad never once took his hands off the reins or his rifle until I fell forward and couldn't find my feet."
Also: "I blinked away until I saw my husband, Jake on the roof, waving his gloved hands. He slid down from the roof and charged toward me. He held Thad up straight from falling. I tumbled from the buckboard and dove into his arms. He hugged me and kissed me on the neck. He warmed me with his brush of his skin and beard."
You have learned the fine art of "SHOWING" instead of TELLING" too. a very big achievement, Stan. Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thanks again, Bob
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You are welcome, Stan. :) Bob
Comment from Mistydawn
I'm so glad they were able to make it home safe and they will be safe from intrusion for a little while. The entire story was great but this one line I particularly love. It was enough to keep slogging through the snow, where my heart led each step. It's so warm heartfelt. Makes you love Jane even more. Good imagery here. The snow and ice needled my eyes, icicles dangling from his scarf and black beard. It was just enough to get the reader's imagination going. Your story is wery well-written, interesting, believable. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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I'm so glad they were able to make it home safe and they will be safe from intrusion for a little while. The entire story was great but this one line I particularly love. It was enough to keep slogging through the snow, where my heart led each step. It's so warm heartfelt. Makes you love Jane even more. Good imagery here. The snow and ice needled my eyes, icicles dangling from his scarf and black beard. It was just enough to get the reader's imagination going. Your story is wery well-written, interesting, believable. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thanks again, Misty
Comment from Sally Law
A wonderful and rich chapter for your book. I especially loved how this ended and the thought: free to own each step we took. I feel this is being taken away from the United States with lightning speed, especially freedom of speech, peaceful assembly, and guarded religious freedoms. Even though they are surrounded with dangers of every kind, I admire your characters and their insightful wisdom.
A few improvements for your consideration.
-I blinked away (tears, snow, ice--something is needed here to blink away) until I saw my husband, Jake, waving to me from the roof. He slid down and (ran) towards me. (Charged is an agressive military term.) He hugged and kissed me, warming me with his beard. (This eliminates too many he's in a row.) I've been working on this with my copy editor lately. I have the same tendency. :)
-Half-breed is spelled two ways. Hyphenated, or as one word: halfbreed.
I hope this is helpful and adds to your fine work. Sending you my best today, and blessings always,
Sally XOs....
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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A wonderful and rich chapter for your book. I especially loved how this ended and the thought: free to own each step we took. I feel this is being taken away from the United States with lightning speed, especially freedom of speech, peaceful assembly, and guarded religious freedoms. Even though they are surrounded with dangers of every kind, I admire your characters and their insightful wisdom.
A few improvements for your consideration.
-I blinked away (tears, snow, ice--something is needed here to blink away) until I saw my husband, Jake, waving to me from the roof. He slid down and (ran) towards me. (Charged is an agressive military term.) He hugged and kissed me, warming me with his beard. (This eliminates too many he's in a row.) I've been working on this with my copy editor lately. I have the same tendency. :)
-Half-breed is spelled two ways. Hyphenated, or as one word: halfbreed.
I hope this is helpful and adds to your fine work. Sending you my best today, and blessings always,
Sally XOs....
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Sally. I always greatly appreciate ways to make changes for the better, editing, etc...
