The Teacher
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Teacher - 8"Hostage situation at an elementary school.
4 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The overall premise of your novel is good, if not particularly original so far. However the chapter is long, especially for Fan Story. I think you have two choices, either tighten up considerably to improve the pace, or cut the chapter in two. This is a common device used on this site.
Potential SPAGs;
Without a word, the two girls followed Stacey out of the room. > doesn't feel right to me. Stacey is one of the girls, no? Shouldn't it read Andi here?
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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The overall premise of your novel is good, if not particularly original so far. However the chapter is long, especially for Fan Story. I think you have two choices, either tighten up considerably to improve the pace, or cut the chapter in two. This is a common device used on this site.
Potential SPAGs;
Without a word, the two girls followed Stacey out of the room. > doesn't feel right to me. Stacey is one of the girls, no? Shouldn't it read Andi here?
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Thank you. I will look into those suggestions.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Mystery and Crime Fiction, a chapter in the book The Teacher, speaks about he pizzas arrive, the teach - 8; well said, well done, thanks 4 sharing this, happy reviewing this legible on white background, my dear write-post more, fast, time is precious-limited, I, DR, wrote 114 books on God, Humanity, Truth. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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This Mystery and Crime Fiction, a chapter in the book The Teacher, speaks about he pizzas arrive, the teach - 8; well said, well done, thanks 4 sharing this, happy reviewing this legible on white background, my dear write-post more, fast, time is precious-limited, I, DR, wrote 114 books on God, Humanity, Truth. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you kindly.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Another strong chapter. I thought the dialogue about the pizza was well done. Sets the stage and shows us we aren't dealing with a moron. The suspense in your story - you can feel it. Pacing excellent.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Another strong chapter. I thought the dialogue about the pizza was well done. Sets the stage and shows us we aren't dealing with a moron. The suspense in your story - you can feel it. Pacing excellent.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thank you kindly.
Comment from Wendy G
You have me hooked. Will say the same as before. Well-written, and keeps the reader hanging on, on the edge of the chair. I hope to read the next chapter very soon. Is it written, or are you figuring it out as you go?
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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You have me hooked. Will say the same as before. Well-written, and keeps the reader hanging on, on the edge of the chair. I hope to read the next chapter very soon. Is it written, or are you figuring it out as you go?
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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I've got a rough draft. Thank you for reading.
