Comment from AJ McCall

Exceptional

Geeze...The Shadow is hungry! That last line caught me: Sooner or later, You'll kill them all...

That is some serious Jekyll and Hyde stuff, lol. With every chapter, I hoping the others find him before something bad happens to Carrie. Man, poor Joseph...

Awesome job! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020

Thanks so much, AJ :)

Yes, the Shadow is relentless. I'm glad you feel sorry for Joseph. That's what I was hoping for. Maybe someone can help him overcome the voice in his head. Stay tuned.

Thanks for all your support! Your feedback is truly motivating.

Stay safe & have a great weekend!
Shana :)

reply by AJ McCall on 14-Nov-2020

You're welcome!!!

Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

Joeseph can be such a sweetheart, a true gentleman. I'm really starting to like him. It's too bad he has such a dark side. I've heard a lot of serial killers are like that. Some of the shadow's comments were comical made me laugh. I nearly choked on my coffee on the loony bin one. Your chapter is very well-written, interesting, realistic from start to finish. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020

Thank you, Mistydawn :)

I love to hear your feedback. You put a smile on my face every time. When you said you like Joseph, that's exactly what I was hoping for. I want the reader to actually feel sorry for him. The Shadow has brainwashed him since he was five years old. I also liked the fact that you laughed at the Shadow's remark. A little humor mixed with darkness goes along way.

Thanks for all your support!
Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

So poor Joseph, but he is able to resist the shadow, and the breed line are on to him, I wonder how long it will be before they move on him, In a sense it's not Joseph that's doing the plotting and planning the killing it this evil "thing" I don't know how you create all these incredibly evil things that plague people, but I guess it's the sin that plots our downfall, and our consent to allow it. Well done, another brilliant episode Shan, great episode, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020

Thank you, Roy :)

Yes, Joseph has been brainwashed by the Shadow since he was five. Maybe there will be something that can take away the evil inside him. You know me... I will plan something and it will end with the light overpowering the darkness.

Thanks again for all your support!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 11-Nov-2020

Well done

Comment from Ben B.

Excellent

Ok, definitely some drama going on here. The Shadow is a bit of a bully to Joeseph. It keeps telling him what to do but it doesn't seem to be motivating him hard as to the reasons why.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020

Thanks Ben :)

Yes, the Shadow has brainwashed Joseph since he was five. It feds off human hearts to gain their soul. That is what the Shadow needs to survive. He uses Joseph for his evil bidding. But now that Joseph has met Carrie, things are changing. Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my chapter and for the great feedback.

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from fm wright

Exceptional

Really liked how you handled the conversations. Slso, how you brought up family and situations. The ending has me on the edge of my seat, waiting for your posting. The pictures work so well with this chapter.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020

Thank you, Faye :)

So glad you mentioned the conversations between the characters. I was hoping it wouldn't bore the reader. I think stories need those. It helps the reader get to know the characters more.
Thanks for noticing the pictures. Sometimes it's hard to pick them out to captivate the reader. Glad you enjoyed.

Thanks so much for all your continuing support. Your feedback is important to me.

Hugs,
Shana :)

reply by fm wright on 11-Nov-2020

You did a real good job in the writing and the picking out of the pictures.
Hugs,
Faye

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

S.,

This was probably the best chapter/writing I have ever read of yours. It was truly well-written and rather exciting, with that low current of tension and danger running under the surface. Very cool!

I have a couple of notes:
1.) "Well, I guess I better be heading out," Joseph said, looking at Je(ssica) and then to Ryan.

2.) Then she went on to tell him about her friendship with Jessica and her new boyfriend Ryan.
--> if people have been reading along the whole time they may understand this totally differently - but I thought she was saying that Ryan was HER boyfriend.

That's it. Great job~

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020

Thanks so much, Robyn :)

You are such a big help. I enjoy your feedback.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I was worried the conversations between the characters would bore the reader. So happy it did not.

You make a difference!
Thanks again,
Shana :)

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Exceptional

I thought this was amazing. I felt very uncomfortable with Joseph as I read this. But thought maybe it was just me. I give you great credit for that because at the end you show me that I was indeed right. My instincts were right. This was a well written and enjoyable chapter. Great job.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020

Thanks so much, Michael :)

So thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. And yes, you were right to be uncomfortable about Joseph. At age five, this evil entity has inhabited his body and brainwashed him. Although, it seems Joseph has feelings for Carrie and is having second thoughts about obeying the Shadow's commands.

Thanks for the awesome review and great feedback!
Sincerely,
Shana :)