Reviews from

Haiku (Hot Nights)

a 5-7-5 poetic form

29 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This haiku, Hot Nights, presented in a 5-7-5 formatting, creates the spectacular scene of nature's discharge of power assaulting the people below.

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
    Hi Bill... very perceptive!! This Hot Night was full of thunderous booms and lightening... a static display! Thank you for your comments!!

    Melissa
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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You have used several literary techniques. There are several examples of onomatopoeia. Your animation will draw the reader in. Your metaphors will draw the reader in. Well expressed.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 05-Nov-2020
    Thank you very much, Liz!!!

    Melissa
Comment from JLR
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Perhaps one of the best haiku poems I have read in recent contests. You have crafted a complete story twelve words that clearly illustrate your
profound experience of a light show of great magnificence and magnitude.
Very well done, friend and this surely will be a winner.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 03-Nov-2020
    Hello Jim. Thank you so very much!! I struggled and rewrote it three times, ugh... these tiny things are a lot harder than others because the limitations are so great, and the word choices so important. I hope you have a lovely day , my friend. :)

    Melissa
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Excellent
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Such a vivid and energizing haiku here, Melissa. Great language to make even the dangerous seem beautiful -- thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
    Hi Yvette. Thank you... I had to revise this thing three times before it was acceptable. Ugh. Had the committee on me and reviewers too. I was so dumb headed and did not follow rules... lol.
    Hope it makes sense.
    Melissa
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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OMG Melissa, what an amazing picture sweet girl...
I love thunderstorms...but don't like them to hurt anyone...
your poem is perfect to the picture...very well described my sweet friend...very well written...I love your poem you...love you...Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
    I love thunderstorms too Linda and revel in the intensity of a wild one... as long as no one gets hurt ~ like you said. Take care, my sweet friend.

    Melissa
reply by l.raven on 02-Nov-2020
    you take care as well beautiful...love xxoo
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written classic haiku about old rain that comes to us through rivers and waterfalls where we are at the moment in perfect sunny weather.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Thank you so much, Sandra.

    Melissa
Comment from Mark D. R.
Excellent
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Melissa,

Sorry but I don't know any 'old' rain so this word does not flow for me in your Haiku. Need to capitalize the same? Maybe 'Spring rains revisit' is an acceptable substitute.

Your phrasing really describes the nature scene you have portrayed for this contest entry. Your selected illustration really reinforces your limited words.

Mark

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Hi Mark. Thanks so much. I got my wrist slapped by FS Committee because I had used capitalization, had not included a seasonal reference, and perhaps I have alliteration. I had NO IDEA that the contest had so many rules or probably would not have entered it. Had to go back and edit ... Live and learn. :)

    Melissa
reply by Mark D. R. on 01-Nov-2020
    M

    Ridiculous that they would slap you! I am not an English major, so I don?t know the rules for capitalizing or not the four seasons. This is FS nitpicking at its worst. Still think it is a good Haiku and worthy of a contest entry.

    M
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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A fine atmospheric Haiku Melissa and I heard the running water gurgling here over those mossy stones, I would welcome some rain right now, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Hi Dolly. Thanks so much for your lovely review on this Haiku!

    Melissa
Comment from The Death
Excellent
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Hi Melissa,

Loved the imagery you have presented in this haiku. Fine use of personification. The first line has the kigo. The last line is an apt satori for the image you created. Nice presentation as well. Good luck!

Regards,
Anupam

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Hi Anupam. So good to hear from you and thanks so very much for the wonderful comments on the haiku. Hope you have a great day.

    Melissa
Comment from June Sargent
Excellent
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I like the imagery of old rain revisiting the mountain rivulets. Nature has a way of conserving. Its rhythmic flow keeps us grounded, while we enjoy the beauty. Well done.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Hello June. Thanks so much!!

    Melissa